The fred where the BESH practise DIY. Scan the chart below. Customers are kindly requested to keep readers informed of relevant colour and consistency.

[Ariesgirl]

BESHityourself proudly presents...

The BESHtone colour matching system, for all your interior colourways

000 Clearest eggwhite
001 Watery white
002 All that jizz?
003 Cottage cheese
004 Cunt-ry cream
005 Hopeful Yellow
006 Hint of a Tint
007 Excessive Cigaring
008 Stretchy but streaky
009 Palest Pink
010 Implantation Imaginings?
011 Itty Bitty Brown
012 Brahn String
013 Ovaltine Ochre
014 Sludge Brown
015 Clotty Red
016 Purest Scarlet
017 Possibly Green*
018 Barely Black*
019 Sump Oil Surprise*
020 Nothing. Nadda. Where the fuck IS it?

*Available at specialist retailers

Well Cass had tantalised with her thread and then buggered off. Someone had to do it.

Cheese is out?

No I want Welsh cakes, WELSH CAKES. Give me some. Alps, you forgot shellfish.

Am...um... ...9 DPO. Or 10. Dunno.

Sorry, Bitey, I didn't see your kind offer then . Where is Taffland do you live. Message me if you like.

Where's Cass. I've sent her an agonised message. CASS where are you????

I ate half a brie last week

Welsh cakes sound de-li-shous.

More food talk pliz.

'Lo buenosaries I live in the south west, nearest city is Swansea. Are you a fellow Welshie? < whispers what gave me away? was it saying mammy?>

I have scoffed a massive smoked salmon salad and now my office REEKS! Am dying to go the toilet but afraid to open in the door in case smell wafts out and people think it's actually me rather than my bin. HB can I please borrow your ramekin?

Ho about a Cornish cream tea, ItalianMama, with fluffy, fruity scones, pippy raspberry jam and fatty, thick, yellow clotted cream? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm With lots of lovely cups of tea. Or a thick slab of fruit cake. Or apple and blackberry crumble again with clotted cream.

What on earth is happening to me? Since when was I a pudding and cake person? MENKUL! MENKUL!

What gave it away Bitey? Um, your talk of welsh cakes? That you have mentioned it before? Your use of the word "mammy"?! Yes am fellow taffy, but don't live there anymore. Lozza and I are Caaaaaaaaaardiff girls (well nearly anyway)

Oooh, I could have waved at you lot across the Great Divide (aka the Bristol Channel).

I have had a slice of chocolate cake this morning and it took all my (puny) self-restraint not to dive nose-first into the entire gateau.

Ariel I believe that pudding-craving is a Sign; clearly you are updiffed

Aries you are a better detective than Jessica Fletcher and almost as good Dr Sloane from diagnosis murder! I agree with owly that your sudden interest in desserts of a traditional kind = diffed! You'll be wanted a spotted dick next

Am not diffed. Suddenly have The Rage. It always strikes for an afternoon four days or so pre-droid.

But I still want cakes

Afternoon BESHlets, by God it's taken me a while to catch up with just this thread so must initially offer apologies for not reading the end of the last one (I was on a boring conference call so read through this one whilst pretending to listen)

Happy dayz for differs
Welcome noobs
Loving the new fred
Aries - agree, definitely diffed

Am going to be a bit memememe now, but had a bit of a melt down on Saturday night and feel the need to share. I drank a lot on Saturday (on the back of a lot to drink on Friday at a wedding) and my BIL (who often does this when drunk) had started whining a bit when we were outside having a cigarette (so not when TGB was there) about us not living nearby, when are we going to have kids and move back etc etc etc. I was good naturedly joking with him about, oh you funny thing, none of your business is it - chortle chortle.

So we went for a curry at the end of the night and again during a fag break he started on again. At this point I realised I'd had enough so said, you know it's not as easy for everyone as it has been for you and so you shouldn't make assumptions. (they have 2 children, 1st conceived within 2 months and the 2nd conceived 'by accident' a couple of months before they had planned to try for another baby)

He got really arsey with me and basically said I should stop making excuses, they are starting to try for their third so I should get a move on so I could 'share' being pregnant with his wife blah blah blah. I got a bit upset then and said, does he realyl think it's that easy, we've been trying for months and nothing's happened, he shouldn;t say things like that when he doesn't know the situation. And then I said I wouldn't want to be pregnant at the same time as anyway as she's already got 2 kids and after it being so hard won I'd want to have my own time and not share it with her (did I mention ?)

TGB realised I was upset when we went back in and we chatted, he took BIL to one side and he drunkenly apologised and gave me a hug. We saw them yesterday (with the kids, kind of put me off a bit as they're so naughty, aargh!) and he didn't mention anything about it at all, said in passing he was annoyed with himself for getting so drunk.

That's kind of it and now I've written it down it feels like something of nothing. Don't get me wrong, alcohol had a lot to do with it and normally I would just shrug and smile and ignore the 'when are you going to sprog then?' enquiries. Sorry for the long and boring post, I think I will feel better just for sharing.

In other news I am 7 DPO but with no symptoms. Had temp drop on Saturday but tis too early yet to test. No symptoms (apart from mentalness at weekend)

Loves you all for putting up with mentalness {confused}

Aww squirreltruffkin some people are so insensitve! Especially men that love to take all the credit for updiffment! He should have backed off immediately when you said that about it not being that easy.

Also, why do people think you want to share your diffment? I completely agree with your reluctance to "share". An acquaintance (recently demoted from friend) of mine is fourteen weeks dffed and keep telling me that if only I could get diffed we could spend our maternity leave together! Gah! Two hours is enough time with her let alone a year when I want to be enjoying ma baybee!

How was weather? Were you able to show hair free tanned lady legs?

Truffers, it sounds as though he was being a typical insensitive, drunken male of the species and he well warranted a slap. I had someone going on at me during the summer (while sober!) so I know how upsetting it is. Giving them a hint that all isn't well in the Garden of Procreation usually shuts the fuckers up :(

Muffkin don't feel bad - I think he deserved his talking to and it may make him be a bit more sensitive in future.

When I was pregnant last Christmas we went on a trafitional pub crawl where a couple of our male friends were teasing me about not drinking along with all the "hur hur I bet your pregnant" comments. After trying to deny it all evening, I eventually snapped and hissed at them that yes I was bloody pregnant, hadn't even told my parents yet and could they kindly STFU about it. I think that some people don't have a clue, especially if they aren't TTC or have found the whole thing a piece of piss. Hopefully your BIL will be more considerate in future.

IGNORE IF EASILY ANNOYED BY WHINING. I SAID IGNORE.

I'm having one of Those Days today as well. I just can't envisage me ever getting lucky enough to get diffed. I just looked at my FB page and every single update was about a baby or a bump. (Disclaimer - please don't feel offended if one of those is you. I figure if you are a BESH you'll understand anyway). I went shopping and kept bumping into bumps and buggies. I keep getting those clenches of hormonal, irrational fury when MrA does something like sniff, or load the dishwasher wrong, or leave a bit of splashed tea on the table. I fucking hate lazy men who won't clear up after themselves and then look surprised and put upon and scornful when you "make an issue of it". And then they ask what's the matter with you? Why are you in mood about nothing? Why would anyone get in a mood about nothing? And then I'll explain that I feel premenstrual. And then the answer will be So? You never used to get like this. And the reply will be (haven't said it yet) well, I didn't used to want to be pregnant so much. And then there'll be an eye roll and a sigh.

Someone point me in the direction of the nearest gas oven.

Trufflenugget no, he was definitely being a twat and you were right to grump at him.

I personally will headbutt the next fool who tells me I need to 'get a move on'.

Aries Buggeration @ The Rage. Have some more cake as consolation. This one has diazepam sprinkles

Poor Aries. I had a day like that on Saturday. Tesco's was full of the bumps - all magnetised towards me. I was muttering under my breath "What? Not another one!" each time one appeared and headed my way like a guided missile. I swear there was thousands of them.

Did you watch Star Trek (spot my diversionary tactic)?

Fanks, at least you didn't all screech 'evil hag' at me (oh, hang on....)

GoOnBiteMe I bottled it and wore grey tights with my new M&S shoe boots. Once the dancing started I will confess to laddering the tights and so ended the night proudly drunkenly displaying my tanned pins

ahh truffs you did the right thing, at least he will think twice about mentioning it again, sounds like he was pretty shame faced the next day.

aries I hate those days. big unBESHlike hugs lady friend. Here have some quality street, I have singled out all the toffee disks for me you, but shout if you want a different flavour.

truffkin I think you were entirely in the right. Essentially, people asking nosy questions about ttc are, in fact, prying into your sex life. Usually we don't allow people to ask us personal questions in public about that so he had no right to even start on about it. He should have shut up faster and deserved your outburst.

aries I hate that about bookface too. I'm tired of hearing about who is crawling and who ate all their orange goo today etc and so on.

Colour scheme 001 here today, still no positive opk so wasted weekend but at least it was fun.
four more work days and then a week off!

Have just found out that BIL's wife is pg and he knew on Saturday night when we had that conversation. I've now changed my opinion and think his behaviour was utterly cock like.

rocketleaf all the orange cremes and fudgey ones would be lovely, thank you

and is it really bad that I'm actually torn between wanting to be pg but also a little bit hoping I'm not and it will take a lot longer as I REALLY DON'T WANT TO SHARE. especially with her

I'm evil, pure evil.

and very selfish.

and a hag.

I'm glad we're not seeing them for a few weeks so I get to my happy place by then.

This shiz is so fucked up.

Fuck Trumpkin you're right. Utterly, utterly cocklike .