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Conception

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Original poster

Please help, I need some advice, got myself into an awful situation.

42 replies

FairyLand1234 · 09/09/2010 16:24

Long story but came out of a long term relationship 2 months ago, met another man not long after, things happened and 3 weeks ago we slept togther 3 times!

I also made the big mistake of sleeping with my long term relationship partner 1 week and 2 days ago, all of this is awful awful! self destruct button has certainly been pushed lately, not sure why!

So not been feeling great, brought a pregnancy test today (well 2) and it's bloody positive Shock

Now i have no clue why it's showing so soon but the lines are strong and came up straight away literally 20 seconds on each one! BUT big question can you get a positive after 1 week of sleeping with someone? or 3 and what am i going to do, i cant actually believe i am in this situation i have NEVER done anything like this in my life! silly silly women i am!!

HELP

OP posts:
Theantsgomarching · 09/09/2010 16:32

Oh you poor thing. Congratulations firstly. As for the timing etc I suggest talking to your gp. Don't be ashamed. No it's not ideal, but you can deal with this. Good luck! Have you other children?

fedupttcnosuccess · 09/09/2010 16:32

I am so so sorry for you. You poor thing. The likelihood is that you are pregnant with your "other man": as it is recommended that preg tests work over 14 days post ovulation. I'm sure someone more educated will come along soon, but please be brave. Try to seek some help from someone in realife. I wish you all the best. Good luck.

Original poster
FairyLand1234 · 09/09/2010 16:37

Oh dear, oh dear, I just feel it's the wrong time, my head is all over the place and i can't even believe it, I am seeing my doctor next week she is away for a week but i feel i need to see her as i cant believe the situation i am in, as for the timing i don't have a clue i would have thought that after a week and 2 days it would not show up! I am so so ashamed, yes i have other children from my long term relationship (which i ended) why oh why have i got myself into this situation! Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
FairyLand1234 · 09/09/2010 18:49

Anyone else help me with any more info?

OP posts:
row78 · 09/09/2010 18:50

fairy, when was your last period and what is your usual cycle length?

Original poster
FairyLand1234 · 09/09/2010 18:53

My last period was 9/8 i had sex with other man on the 20/8 and with long turn relationship on the 1/9 usual cycle is 28 days.

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 09/09/2010 18:57

So you had sex with the longterm relationship chappie 5 days before your period would be due? Is that right? That would make the new bloke the father.

Original poster
FairyLand1234 · 09/09/2010 18:59

Yes i would say it was probably 5-7 days depending on cycle but they are mostly between 28-30 days, oh god what a mess i am so so ashamed i could cry for days Sad

OP posts:
zazen · 09/09/2010 19:04

Based on your dates, this new man is the dad.

Take folic acid. Have a chat with your doctor.

ShowOfHands · 09/09/2010 19:20

Do NOT do that. Do NOT be ashamed. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Better women than you and I have unplanned pregnancies.

Do you have good rl support? Anybody you can talk to? Your GP should be a help to you.

You are in desperate shock. If you want to talk off board CAT me. I've been there.

Original poster
FairyLand1234 · 09/09/2010 20:08

I know what you are saying but it's so hard, coming out of my long term relatioship (10 years) then getting myself in this situation, I have been getting all sorts of emotions from my ex since the split, i have had tears, rage, anger, upset, hurt my head really is all over the place, I have told only my closest friend and the other man about what has happened, i can not and will not tell anyone else, my family will probably disown me and god knows what else will happen, i have a great job i am trying to hold down and 2 gorgeous children i am trying to keep to routine and as much stability as i possibly can, and now this .....

Thanks SoH good to talk

OP posts:
row78 · 09/09/2010 20:16

Once you have a dating scan you may have a better idea who is definately the dad based on dates. I don't think it can be your ex as you usually can't get a very faint positive until at least 9 DPO, also your dates would point to it being the new bloke.

Try to keep calm, no matter where this goes you will survive, you've done this before. We all make mistakes, it happens, it's what we do afterwards that counts.

Good luck

Original poster
FairyLand1234 · 09/09/2010 20:25

Thank you, i see what your saying, how soon can they do a dating scan?

OP posts:
Original poster
FairyLand1234 · 09/09/2010 20:34

Does anyone know?

OP posts:
row78 · 09/09/2010 20:38

the NHS scan is at 12 weeks, you can get a private scan from around 6 weeks I think

gallicgirl · 09/09/2010 20:39

Between 11 and 14 weeks I think.

chipmonkey · 09/09/2010 20:39

I would pretty much place a bet based on your timing that it's the new man rather than your ex.

Don't beat yourself up. No-one is perfect and we all do unwise things from time to time.

dating scan, I think can be done from about 6 weeks?

Original poster
FairyLand1234 · 09/09/2010 20:46

Ok thank you, it's a waiting game now then, don't know what the outcome of this will be, i did take the morning after pill to Sad either way i have some serious thinking to do, my relationship/friendship with new man is not exactly great! I have so much going round in my head i dont even know where to start!

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 09/09/2010 20:47

Don't gice yourself a hard time, we have all made mistakes and taken chances, I am sure.
I know I have anyway!
Are you still in contact with new man?

ShowOfHands · 09/09/2010 20:49

Forgive me for speaking out of turn, but if you're in two minds and thinking of not continuing the pregnancy, they will send you for a scan to determine how far along you are. They will try and time it for when you are 6 weeks.

Do you have a local family planning clinic? They will provide counselling, scans, information and support whatever you decide.

DinahRod · 09/09/2010 20:52

Yes, the dates would mean it's new man's.

Do you know what you want to do? Your GP sounds like a good port of call.

Original poster
FairyLand1234 · 09/09/2010 20:57

Yes still in contact.

I dont and never have believed in termination but thats just my personal feelings, I never thought i would have been stupid enough to put myself in this situation but again i am here, first thing i am going to do is see my doctor next week that will then have given me time to think and also time to have a good conversation with my gp, my heart says yes just go through this I put myself in this situation and i should be grown up enough to deal with it but my head is shouting stop Sad

OP posts:
Orangerie · 09/09/2010 21:02

Go to your family clinic. Your doctor is not going to do anything else but to send you to the family clinic or the midwife.

ShowOfHands · 09/09/2010 21:46

I think the GP is a good idea. The fpc need a GP referral for pregnancies here.

chipmonkey · 09/09/2010 22:12

I think if your GP knows you very well and you trust her, that would be the way to go.

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