Please help, I need some advice, got myself into an awful situation.

[FairyLand1234]

Long story but came out of a long term relationship 2 months ago, met another man not long after, things happened and 3 weeks ago we slept togther 3 times!

I also made the big mistake of sleeping with my long term relationship partner 1 week and 2 days ago, all of this is awful awful! self destruct button has certainly been pushed lately, not sure why!

So not been feeling great, brought a pregnancy test today (well 2) and it's bloody positive

Now i have no clue why it's showing so soon but the lines are strong and came up straight away literally 20 seconds on each one! BUT big question can you get a positive after 1 week of sleeping with someone? or 3 and what am i going to do, i cant actually believe i am in this situation i have NEVER done anything like this in my life! silly silly women i am!!

HELP

Do you envision having (or wanting to have/try for) a lasting relationship with either man?

My DH has suggested that if you are keeping this baby tell old bloke that he's the father. Unless you get a DNA rest you may never know.

Your older kids will get a sibling, your old bloke will get another kid and there will be no new bloke in your life (if you don't want him there). Even if you are going to have no relationship with old bloke, your kids will all be together with their mother.

Have a DNA test if you absolutely must know for sure, but otherwise carry on.
This is just a man's perspective.
Have a Cuckoo.
(statistics of DNA tests show that one in four is actually a cuckoo)

Good luck with everything.

zazen

can't believe you would suggest doing that. if OP has this baby, tehre will be a child who has a right to know who it's father is.

Sleep well.

No no - my Dh said it.
I know I was also. He's a scientist.

If you look at it logically, there is only a probability that the new man is the dad. It's a higher probability than old man but the probability of old man being the dad exists.

And unless there is a DNA test, OP will never know - unless new man is drastically different genetically from old man.

Might be something to think about.

Good luck FairyLand.

Fairy you could try testing with a Clearblue digital, which tells you in weeks how long it has been since you conceived? It should say 1-2 weeks if the old partner is the dad, 3+ if it is the new bloke.
Sorry you are going through this

The family clinic does NOT need a GP referral, just go and ask for an appointment.

Actually, your GP would not even be informed of any procedure, treatment or even that you were prescribed pills unless you authorise them to release the details. Same goes for other self referral places like A&E, Walk in Centres, or the dentist.

Orangerie, having recently been through this, I know that our local family planning clinic does need a GP referral. Not for everything, but for unplanned pregnancy counselling. It might vary from one pct to another though.

Same as our EPAU, it is GP referral only whereas lots of places you can self-refer.

Mine doesn't, I'm sure of that, I worked with them. Obviously, a GP can refer you to it, BUT self referals are very usual.

Sorry you're in this position but if it helps you can speak to your doctor and ask for an early dating scan which I think can be done around 7 - 8 weeks.

I hope it works out ok for you.

More info:

NHS: www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/839.aspx?CategoryID=54&SubCategoryID=138

Back again!

Well still here, still pregnant, went to the doctors and explained all, she has said to me i have 3 options, go through with the pregnancy, adoption or termination, I don't have a clue what to do i really really dont :0(

I would never ever lie about who is the father no matter what, so if i decide to go ahead with this i will be being honest.

I did do a clear blue digital tast on 13th sept this week and it said 3+ weeks? I think that points to new man!

I still can't believe i have got myself into such a terrible sitatuion!

One question i did want to ask can you get a positive test 7 days after having sex? I thought not but am ready to be proved wrong!

.

I don't think you could, the levels of pregnancy hormones would be so low the test wouldn't be able to read them.

I don't think so either - the absolute earliest I have heard of is about 11/12 days past ovulation.

If the Clearblue said 3+ weeks only 13 days after you'd slept with the old partner, then I think it has got to be the new guys. It goes from the day of conception.

Hope you are doing ok, Fairy.

Ok thank you, not doing ok at all, trying to be strong but there are many days when I feel like giving up, however I have my children am trying my hardest to hold down my job but may have to bail out soon as can't think straight I feel very sick in morningsd and evenings, and just can't see anyway forward, don't know what to do for the best it's all an awful mess and I put myself here

Fairy,

I think you need to break the problem in little pieces:

1. Do you want to continue with the pregnancy?

2. Are this the right circumstances to have another child?

3. Can you support/provide care for 3 children on your own?

4. Do you have enough family/friends support to get you all through this?

Then sit and make an informed decision. There are organisations in Britain that can help you through this decision process without pressuring you to continue or stop the pregnancy. BPAS is one of them, but if you ask at your family clinic they can provide you with more information/contact details of other ones. Counseling is often provided if you decide to terminate but in the same way, they may also help by put you in contact with other services that can provide support if you decide to continue.

Best of luck.