Starting using a stick.. and my ego

[Lifealittleboulder]

hi :) I’m new here x

i have a fibro diagnosis but am currently being assessed for MS. I have a lot of pain but am suddenly quite wobbly at times and find it hard to walk a long way. I do have a stick but I haven’t been able to bring myself to use it around my friends yet, I’m too proud and I know that’s wrong. I’m worried about all the questions it’s going to raise, the comments and the unsolicited advice.
Can anyone share how they managed when they first started using one, the thought of the attention at the school gates for eg makes me feel a bit sick..

My Dw uses one and to start with was very self conscious about it but it was a case of need's must(osteoarthritis in hip) and her stick helps.
Hopefully you can overcome the self conscious part most people won't give you a second look.

My partner has just started using a stick, it's really helped his ability to get around particularly being able to stop and lean and rest with it. No one has said a word, given advice or commented. All our friends and family are just pleased at seeing him being able to get out and about.

OP I hear you and in a similar camp, recently diagnosed with FND after 18 months of being batted from pillar to post. I despise using my elbow crutch (NHS issue) when I don't have anyone to hang onto or DD pram. I've resorted to only using it when absolutely necessary but know I need to use it more often 🫠 have a look at cool crutches as they have 'nicer' crutches and sticks 💖

I'm having to use one at the moment for hip/bum issues after knee surgery.
(ironically knee is fine now but I buggered my hip waiting for a 2nd op on the same knee. It's not the hip joint anyway, more like bursitis. ).
So, I'm probably older than you but what i have noticed since getting my stick is how many other people are also using them, and not all oldies by any means. You just don't notice until it's relevant to you.
My experience of using one has been that people are generally very kind -- move out of the way/give me lots of space on the street etc and even offer to help. So it's not all bad - a person offering to help shows the good in the world and can brighten your day.
Good luck with using it and I hope your health problems are swiftly resolved.

I found myself embarrassed the first time I used it (or my wheelchair) around anyone but after that it becomes normal.

Cool crutches have a lovely range of adjustable sticks in a thing from all black to bright patterns

Neowalk often have lovely sticks as well

I found seeing videos /pictures of people my age using sticks on social media helped me get used to it

My condition worsens with exercise so I also used to just take a folding stick in my handbag so I could at least get it out if I felt really desperate

Re unsolicited advice - I normally say thank you but I am working with my doctors on this and they are the specialists.

Timpsons the shoe repairers often have a reasonable selection of brightly coloured and patterned sticks. Around the 25 quid mark.

Unsolicited advice is the worst.

I'm 53 and have been using a stick since I was 49. I have neighbours in their 80s who think I'm some sort of chancer or putting it on (because they are still fit, so why shouldn't I be?). It's so depressing, I avoid them like the plague. The best advice I ever had was to adapt and adjust. It's hard, though.

Another vote for Neowalk. I have this cane from them and I love it.

(I have EDS, Fibro and Osteoarthritis)

I use sticks for arthritis, but not standard issue ones. I find Leki (sprung hiking sticks) much better, and people don't tend to question them. They cost an absolute fortune but last forever. (www.cribgochoutdoor.com/poles-ice-axes-accessories/poles-accessories/leki-wanderfreund-makalu-hiking-stick-in-gunmetaldark-anthracite__3498?currency=GBP&chosenAttribute=LE65320811&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAq-u9BhCjARIsANLj-s14Bcwce-1nFw_zrAiNtz-0NwJLN8znVqTO7Z4X-PVTf9CYNt22jOsaAm1VEALw_wcB)

I'm a carer for my partner.
We have gone from a mere tingle in the feet to slightly wobbly walking to decidedly wobbly to loss of driving to using active walker frames to electric scooters and now to a pushed wheel chair.
A steady decline in mobility.
This is a process that has affected us both as my horizons have reduce at the same time.
I say that it is not your fault and people must take you for yourself. Most people are really good.
Some times are utterly shit.
Try to make the best use of the mobility you have NOW. Use what you have before that too is taken
Go on holiday. Go to see long lost relatives. Tick off the bucket list. Age and health will get us all in the long term.
Good luck.
Be strong.

Are the tips on this easily interchangeable? I like the idea of the spike for the countryside,, but I am always at my weakest at the end of a walk so would need to switch for any car park (I know I should do shorter walks but it is always hard to predict at what point the weakness will kick in!)

On the other hand, my neighbours have been lovely and seeing me with my stick or chair has meant they have asked questions but in a really nice way and it's made me feel very supported by my street. People are such a mixed bag aren't they. I struggle with being much less able than many elderly people I know.

Honestly you just have to start. Once you start, it gets easier. I think I went out for my first walk with a stick with a supportive friend, which helped.
I've used a stick, a rollator, and a mobility scooter and now use a powerchair for 95% of trips out of the house, with my rollator and stick for the odd short distance. I think the difficulty is in the change: people see you as one thing (non-disabled) and have to switch to seeing you as another thing (disabled). For me, once the majority of people around me just didn't know me "before", it became easier, because there's not that cognitive switch and I am how I am. And of course people who did know me before I used mobility aids got used it, surprisingly quickly. Best of luck

https://whathappenedtoyou.co.uk/cards/

also these are handy. I have only used them a handful of times but even if I choose not to, it makes me feel confident to know they're in my bag and I can just hand one over

I get it. I was diagnosed with MS last year and got a stick at a friend’s suggestion. I use it all the time now but was so self conscious at first, but not for long! I liken it to the first time wearing a face mask in public during covid that soon became second nature.

It not only helps massively with my mobility but gives a sign to people to give you a bit of space. I hated being in crowded shops and streets without it in case someone bashed into me and I would fall. Now I get the space I need.

As others have said, Cool Crutches have a great selection and the neoprene hand grips are great!

I am sorry, but I've never tried them with spikes, just the rubber tips. If you take the rubber tips off, they might be ok?

Yes, you're right there. I was walking down my driveway one icy day last year and absolutely froze with fear in case I fell. An elderly chap was walking past me and asked if I needed help as I was clearly struggling. He actually said 'gosh, you're in a bad way there and in more need than me' For the first time, I actually felt grateful that someone recognised my struggles.

Also, since I got my blue badge two and a half years ago, not one person has ever challenged me. I see threads on here all the time about people being called out. I guess I must look like I 'deserve' the space. That in itself is actually hard to accept in a weird way, but I'm just so bloody grateful it.

Thank you for this.

It's hard for both, isn't it?

Yes I got a blue badge last summer and it’s a definite life saver. My youngest is 6 and a very VERY active child, so being able to park close and reduce the wrangling time of getting him in and out of places, and also if he were to run away I would definitely struggle to catch him (on going conversation!!) so it massively helps at school as it’s literally a path from the disabled space to the school gate, no worrying about cars etc.
I probably don’t always “look” like I need it, it’s very much a day to day thing at the moment, some days I’m hobbling badly and other days I’m not at all, depends on the flare and what meds I’ve taken x

I have a wooden thumb stick. I found this more acceptable some how - there's plenty of options beside the grey stick with a dark grey plastic handle

I used one for a while before my first hip surgery. One thing I noticed when I had to go from a stick to crutches was how people were much nicer to me. Baffling!!

Your comfort and health are more important than the thoughts of other people- never forget that. 💐

Thanks everyone, I have moved the stick
from my house to the car… I guess that’s progress?!

My mum was reluctant to use hers but I took her out with it and she's realised she gets offers of help and people get out of her way. Had a couple of humorous moments like where a group of lads gave her a guard of honour as she walked up the pavement past their school!

I had arthritis in my hips and I used a cane. I bought a flowery one off amazon.

I think I am a bit of a show off but I sort of liked how it made me stand out.

I have had two hip replacements so I don’t need it anymore.

Good luck OP.💐
I have Long Covid/fibro and am a part time stick user.
It does feel really strange at first but you sooner used to it.
I find I sometimes get funny looks from elderly people especially women for some reason.
It helps me get out of the house more so I see it as a positive thing😋