Starting using a stick.. and my ego

[Lifealittleboulder]

hi :) I’m new here x

i have a fibro diagnosis but am currently being assessed for MS. I have a lot of pain but am suddenly quite wobbly at times and find it hard to walk a long way. I do have a stick but I haven’t been able to bring myself to use it around my friends yet, I’m too proud and I know that’s wrong. I’m worried about all the questions it’s going to raise, the comments and the unsolicited advice.
Can anyone share how they managed when they first started using one, the thought of the attention at the school gates for eg makes me feel a bit sick..

I feel less self conscious using an outdoor walking stick rather than a disability stick, I found it easier to use too.

I (have ms) felt really shit when I first started using it. I was only 23, in the stage of pre kids, working and partying still. I won’t lie, it took me a few years to get used to it. I’d hate it being noticed so only ever had a plain black one, though I know lots of people like brightly coloured or patterned ones.

I get them on eBay (I have one in each car of our cars, and 2 at home so I’m never ‘stuck’!) over time you will get used to it.

If you are diagnosed with ms - take what ever meds you are offered, if what I’m on now (Tysabri) had been available when I’d first been diagnosed, I likely wouldn’t be so disabled now. there’s lots of research emerging that really pushes for early treatment having a better result over time.

I used a golf brolly for years thinking that no one would notice a brolly (they did).

I have been on two crutches for nearly ten years and still get asked if I will be having surgery soon. However, if I don't use crutches I get looks of horror as people think I am getting out of the car under the influence or am unsteady and drunk at 11 in the shops.

The main thing is that if a physio or doctor has told you to use a walking aid then do so - I didn't and the walking with a limp has made my spine worse than it otherwise would be.

If anyone asks, have a stock phrase - mine is "I am good thanks" and repeat !

Well done on moving it to your car OP, it's definitely progress!

Thank you all so much for your support. So we went to town today and I managed without it but when we got the the leakier centre to collect my eldest from his basketball session, I really needed it so I sucked it up and took it, I am not lying I saw 3 people I knew in 100 meters and they ALL asked why I had a stick -
sigh, I hate the attention, made me want to stay home

Hahah the leisure Centre!!

The attention reduces, I promise. There's an initial flurry of interest/ nosiness, but once it becomes a fixture people you know stop asking. The new people you meet tend to just accept it as standard. And if people you've never met ask questions, it's much easier to tell them to mind their own!

This is me with my stick. I was self conscious at first cos no one expects a 30-something to need a walking-aid but it has helped me so much. My balance is better, I have had less falls and i am even more confident walking on my own, before I used to cling onto my husband for dear life. I am more concerned about people staring at my new AFOS that i am getting in a few weeks than my stick now.

Ah, how are you doing @Lifealittleboulder ?it is an adjustment, it gets easier over time x

Hello my love x

ive actually picked up a little bit and haven’t needed to use it for the last week. I’m definitely taking it away with me on holiday, I think it’s just a suck it up thing x I’ll get there x

Once you realise everything it helps with you won't care.
Build up confidence using it in places you feel comfortable first.
Remember you are challenging ableism which is a great thing for society.
Personalised it, choose colours you like, etc. I like Flexifoot which don't tap. Cool Crutches are amazing but pricey.
Look at social media for accounts of young people using mobility aids.

Similar sticks are available far more cheaply than from Cool Crutches.

It’s worth getting over the trepidation, far less fear of falling when out & about. I learned that lesson the hard way after falling badly, flat on my face, breaking my nose , earning two black eyes & spending several months looking like I’d gone six rounds in the boxing ring with a heavyweight champion.

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