I think I have a late contender for 'worst Christmas present from MIL'

[FrannyandZooey]

Delivered today - overnight special delivery - (which cost £22 to send)

a small tray of supermarket cheese and some chutney

use by date .......yesterday

Oh lord, I think that definitely deserves a special prize!!!!!

you win franny

hands down

that is a truly crap present

PMSL!

Aw don't be harsh, maybe the snow delayed things!
And does cheese really go off? It is already mouldy
lol

Has she only just ordered it or was it bought ages ago and the delivery service has let her down?

we are just piecing together the train of thought that must have led to this

'oh shit, i have forgotten / not bothered to send the tray of supermarket cheese and chutney in time. it is about to go out of date....no, it's GONE out of date. I know! I'll spend 20 quid getting it sent special delivery! then they can enjoy their out of date cheese tomorrow! fantastic!'

Nice touch eh F&Z ? You have to laugh.

We have had in Christmas's past from MIL:

40 Spontex rubber gloves
1 x cling film Wrapmeister

DD this year had some Savlon Wound Wash from MIL, along with a tiny purple comb (DD has the wiriest, curliest hair imaginable). I got a secondhand plastic handbag. DH got £100 cash .

she phoned yesterday and said to expect a parcel today (special delivery means it's delivered overnight)
this was after 3 years of not sending any presents
there was another parcel, also spent special delivery (another £22), with newborn toys for ds2 (18 months old) and a book for ds1 saying "Happy Christmas 2008"

she had a rough couple of years

Aw, send a thank-you present, special delivery.

Clay cock perhaps?

Ah ok yadnbu

Franny - are we related somehow? Do we have the same MIL ?

Fantastic. And loving saltyseadog's too!

i like the wound wash
actually ds1 really WOULD like the wound wash

anyway this resumption of civilities (her phoning, etc) means she has for the first time since ds2 was born, expressed an interest in his existence
indeed she wants to see some photos

i don't know if i can be bothered
for one thing if i do it looks like i have been bribed by some out of date stilton

MIL got us a case of nice wine

My MIL sent us a packet of ice cream wafers, would you like them to go with the cheese?

i do sound like an old bag i know, but she has put her family through so much stress these last few years
i have no sympathy

however dp will eat and enjoy the cheese
so it's not all bad

UIs she barking?
(serious question)

yes (serious answer)

in and out of rehab
lately less drunk but obviously not more sane

Oh dear.
Can you laugh about it or is it beyond a joke?

My (sane) dh bought me a size 20 (am a 12) goatskin jacket that stank of wee from Tajikistand 2 years ago and was genuinely perplexed with my response.

PMSL

oh yes we do laugh about it but only in between much hand wringing
this is one of the classiest yet though

LOL at moondog's size 20 goatskin jacket.

Franny - happy to parcel up the wound wash and send it on!

MIL once got me a headless woman with hooks all through her body - but that was bad judgement (I'd have preferred a headless man).
This year she got me a lovely little camcxorder thing!

PMSL.

There are obviously human stories behind all the gifts......and so on. Rofl.

Moondog - any explanations from dh? Was he not wearing his readers and didn't see the '0' whilst inventing a '1' on the size tag?

I got an ironing board.

But also 50 quid so very very very happy.