worst present you have ever received ?

[em83]

there must be one present you have received that has to be the worst ever !
mine was a few year ago - secret santa at work - an awful hand knitted tea cosy !!! omg !!!!!!!! cringe !!!
not that im ungrateful or anything

em83 - I would have loved a hand knitted tea cosy!

The only really awful present I've ever received was when one of my elderly aunts arrived on Christmas Day with a parcel that contained a multi-pack of size twelve M&S apple-gatherers. She claimed they were far too big for her, but would be just right on me. I was seventeen, and a small size eight.

There was a ten pound note in there as well, for which I felt and displayed an appropriate level of gratitude, but the entire family was ...

A Remington Fuzzaway

Aged 16 I unwrapped a crinoline lady toilet roll dolly from my gran. I laughed so much tha lots of wee came out. My gran was really upset and said 'but your mum said you really wanted one' Which she had, for a laugh, to see my face.

Oh and dh gave me hair straighteners one year.
I have poker straight hair.

3-pack of tan tights from an aunt when I was a teenager. The only permissible colour then was 'chinchilla'.

OK, I'll bite.....

WTF are apple-gatherers?

I got a toasted sandwich maker. Not necessarily bad - but it was for Valentine's Day.

whoops, i do hope the lady came complete with a loo roll!

Apple-gatherers: knickers so generously proportioned one could gather apples in them.

A couple of years back, I did get what I'm sure was the top half of a sailor suit from my Aunt.

The present from her this year I think is also clothing.

Fireman's top perhaps?

Also, I think it means she thinks I need help with clothing myself.

It's scary that she seems to think sailor suit tops are better than what I wear.

a calendar
with kittens on it
with fake diamonte (stuck on) collars
in pink

every fucking year from my mother along with a bag of potpourri

I don't use a calendar.
I don't use potpourri.

She was making a point (which she made sure to tell me in case I missed it).

For my secret santa last night I got a lovely wooly purple scarf - I am always cold atm and purple is my favourite colour. It hurts when work collegues understand you better than you mum.

also for birthday m mil gave me a battery leg razor, that she brought second hand from a car boot, complete with someone else's hairs in it still!!!! gross.
i always got given things she had picked up from the car boot.

A spice rack containing about 30 herbs and spices - most of which are still unopened 10 years on.

Another year I mentioned I would like a new book - DH latched on to this idea and bought me 6 books (and nothing else), 3 of which I had already read. He then tried to repeat this the following year, obviously still thinking it was a good idea.....

First Christmas after having DS1, the tiniest black thong you have ever seen.

Gosh, thinking about it, being married to DH the list is endless - did get diamond earrings last year though, which kind of made up for it!! Bless him!

pot pourri havent saw that in years !!!! lol
lmao at razor with previous owners hair in it !!!

my mil had a buddha doorstop once and i commented i thought it looked cute.... she only went out and bought me a mini pack of 8 buddha ornaments for my birthday, 1 of the buddhas was so sharp i actually cut my finger on it and got an infection..
needless to say i keep my mouth shut at all times regarding mils possesions

a pair of wellington boots with fur inside. was at secondary school. was gutted. it was my main present, and was mortified at the thought of returning to school and having to say what i got.

A HUUUUGGGEE kimono thing from my mum. Made from nylon pretending to be silk (but not making much of a job of it!). She also got one for my SIL. OK, so at the time I was about 17st - but it was still massivee on me, but SIL was about 9st; she could have housed (or tented) a bloody family in there!

God alone knows where she got it, probably at some marquee hire place.

nearlybeans - ah, thank you! There was I thinking they were some kind of shoe, like winklepickers.

In Malaysia most people have free-standing American style fridges with metal handles, think cheepo versions of a Smeg fridge. One Christmas my MIL (who lives in Malaysia) gave me fridge-door handle covers.

They were pink towelling with embroidered butterflies.

DH and I had a big argument about whether we would use them or not (he takes the "honor thy father and mother" thing much to seriously). It was only when we got back to London that we realised that we had a fridge with recessed handles so couldn't use a cover anyway.

Armadillo's calendar sounds revolting.

I see no one's mentioned the knicker elastic yet!

A brown bath towel from my parents for my 15th birthday. They were short of money at the time, but I was disappointed.

Having a birthday close to Christmas also means that I get more than my fair share of those crap Christmas gift packs that departments stores and supermarkets sell. I hate them with a passion. Have been looking at them myself with a view to buying them now for the worst offenders' birthdays later in the year (is that really petty?)

I once got an ironning board!

Cheap "n" nasty bath/smelly stuff every year from my sis who knows damn well i'm allergic to the bloody stuff.

She moans very loudly about people giving her chocs which she hates and i'm not even one of the offenders

Other sis put her straight last year and I got something I like.

Lets see what happens this year.

Bubble bath and writing paper from random relatives all the bloody time when I was between about 9 and 13. I'm allergic to all detergents, and I hated writing letters.