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Christmas

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Original poster

6 year old dd just told me she doesnt believe in Father Christmas....

33 replies

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/10/2009 12:47

We were talking about her birthday (shes 6 in Nov) and what she wants and I pointed out that as she is having a party she wont get a large present off mummy and daddy but she will get presents off her friends and then more toys for Christmas.

She then rather matter of factly said that there is no Father Christmas as you drink the milk and daddy eats the carrot and you buy all the toys form toys r us!!

I asked her to tell me who told her that as they wont be getting anything this year and I said that Father Christmas is listening and would be upset. dh then ramg the home phone and I pretemded to talk to him. She was quiet and sulky for a while then I found her crying and she said nobody told her she thought it herself .She was upset as she is worried she will get nothing now so I said he will ring this weekend and you can talk to him

dh is getting a friend to call from work

i am a bit shocked really as I was about 9-10 before I knew and Christmas was always so magical to me. We are really careful too so how she come to the conclusion i will never know

OP posts:

ThursdayNext · 10/10/2009 12:53

Christmas was always magical to me as a child
But I don't think I ever believed in Father Christmas, I was the youngest child and quite logical. Father Christmas is not a very logical idea for some children, I don't think the story entirely makes sense.
It is entirely possible to find Christmas very exciting and magical without believing in Father Christmas, I wouldn't try and persuade her if she has quite sensibly worked it out for herself.

Original poster

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/10/2009 12:57

I know but it makes me rather given her young age

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ThursdayNext · 10/10/2009 13:08

Christmas is so exciting though, you don't need to believe in Father Christmas
There's decorating the house, twinkly lights, making things and cooking, lovely food to eat, parties, Christmas shows, presents to buy and wrap and give, presents to get, seeing loads of family (even the ones you don't like that much, admittedly), singing Christmas songs, playing games all together, going for a Boxing Day walk... anyway, are you catching my enthusiasm here?
My Mum remembers me saying that Father Christmas wasn't real when I was about 4. Christmas was lovely though.

bloss · 10/10/2009 13:17

Message withdrawn

elliott · 10/10/2009 13:25

My children have worked it out too. Its not really a very convincing story is it?!
I haven't yet told them they are right, but nor have I put up an elaborate defence, just said something like, oh that's what you think is it?
I don't know whether to come clean properly this year (will make it a bit easier tbh!). They are nearly 6 and nearly 8.

anniebear · 10/10/2009 16:07

think everything happens sooner these days

My DD has known for a while, amybe also 6, she is 8 now and in yr 4. It seems like the others in her class are realising it this year

she will still be as excited at Christmas, we still put out a mince pie etc

Clary · 10/10/2009 22:59

Oh chocpeanut yr OP actually made me cry.

Bless yr DD thinking it all herself. TBH DS2 said it was all mae up last year (he was 5.5 ) but when I rang up FC he caved in and said no it was true.

DS1 claims to still believe (he's 10 so I am a bit ).

Not sure if anyone really believes it all in this house now (8yo DD as well) but I guess I will do the snowy footprints et al again...

I love the magic of it too. For years the footprints and the half eaten carrot was by far the most exciting thing for my DC, much more than the presents themselves

electra · 10/10/2009 23:03

Dear God, she sounds intelligent - I would be pleased, not sad! Christmas is magical without FC - but then I don't agree with FC anyway!

differentWitch · 10/10/2009 23:09

I was 6 when I worked it out- didn't make it less pecial asI then went on distraction duty with my younger sis.

Original poster

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/10/2009 23:47

She is intelligent.Its a bit of a general worry really, i went through a phase (on here ) a few weeks ago of thinking she was dyslexic as she struggled when she went back to school but she has flew through it in the last month and all my fears have gone away

i worry that as she is very mature and bright that her childhood wont last as long ifyswim?

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girlywhirly · 11/10/2009 17:21

All is not lost. You could tell her the story of St Nicholas, who was a kind and generous man, and we give stockings and gifts as he did centuries ago. The story goes, he put gold coins into the stockings of some young women, where they were hanging to dry over the fire. They were very poor, and could not have got married without a dowry. I think they would have had to resort to prostitution otherwise, but you don't need to mention that bit! The point is, he was generous and selfless in helping those less fortunate, and this is where the tradition of hanging stockings comes from. I think a little girl as intelligent as she is would enjoy hearing about the origins of Christmas traditions.

Original poster

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 11/10/2009 21:30

Thanks. She knows all about St Nicholas (we are catholics) She seems to have had a change of heart but then I think thats more to do with the thought of maybe getting no presents!

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wicked · 11/10/2009 21:31

Good for her!

LilyBolero · 11/10/2009 21:36

We have never done Father Christmas as a 'true' story, but rather as a fun pretend game - it works really well, and the kids find Christmas just as magical, but they will never have that moment of discovery of the truth!

Actually they find the nativity story the most magical bit.

WidowWadman · 11/10/2009 21:42

Why would you want to punish a child with the threat of no presents for thinking? That's cruel!

choccyp1g · 11/10/2009 21:48

Lily, hopefully you've done the nativity as a fun pretend story too ?
DS(8) doesn't believe in Farmer Christmas anymore, but will still be expecting a good stash of presents on the day.

colditz · 11/10/2009 21:48

She's bright enough to work out you have been lying to her, so you're punishing her by making her think she's not going to get any presents this year because she won't play along with the lie?

Think about what you are doing, please. Just think about the message you have given your daughter.

LilyBolero · 11/10/2009 21:51

choccyp1g - why would I? In fact, that is one of the reasons we didn't do FC as a 'real' story (though we have told them the St Nicholas story, more as a real story). But given that we are Christians, why should we have to do the nativity story as a 'pretend story?'.

Always seems weird to me that people dismiss the nativity story as being 'total fiction' when millions of people believe it, but go to great lengths to present FC as truth, when we KNOW for a FACT that it isn't true, and he doesn't come down the chimney.

Chubbster · 11/10/2009 21:55

Agree with colditz, I think when children get older the FC thing is sometimes more for the parents than it is for the children! She has worked it out, just be honest and treat her like an adult.

choccyp1g · 11/10/2009 21:55

Well, if you are Christians that makes it true.

DailyMailNameChanger · 11/10/2009 21:58

I understand you being saddened that she figured/found out but don't you think you over-reacted a little bit? Your dh spoke to father christmas you told her that someone who said that got no gifts and you made a song and dance about needing to know who had said such a thing...

If you had decided to use FC as a way of controling behaviour (as lots of people do) how terribly would she have had to have behaved to get the same reaction from you?

Wouldn't it have been a bit of a more measured response to just say "really darling what makes you think that? I love going to bed all excited about waking up to see what gifts there are under the tree" or something along those lines rather than a big who haa!

Original poster

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 11/10/2009 22:13

Colitz I agree I overreacted but I was shocked as she is still so young. I suspected someone must have told her as I could not believe that she thought of it herself

For me the Father Christmas story was so special and when I found out (about 8) I was gutted.

I have not mentioned it today and she told me at bedtime that she is going to write him a letter with her list of what she wants.

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angrypixie · 11/10/2009 22:14

I know it feels too soon but I think you made a mistake with your reaction. She's bright, she's worked it out and I would have talked to her about legends and still enjoyed the magic of the stocking on christmas eve etc.

You are now trying to convince her that FC is watching/listening all the time (creepy) Why do you want her to continue the believe the story so much? IS it for you or for her?

I don't want to be mean but I agree with Thursdaynext Christmas will always be magical without coercing her into believing in a story.

BetterBitOfButter · 11/10/2009 22:17

My mum was shocked to find out recently that I never believed in Father Christmas - I pretended I did cos every one else seemed to. But it always just seemed so unfeasible even when tiny - there was no way for example he could get through the grill on the gas fire. Or round the world in one night. Children aren't stupid you know they are perfectly capable of reasoning on their own.

Original poster

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 11/10/2009 22:19

do you think that this is typical then for children her age?

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