how can i make my house christmasy a la nigella?

[SheherazadetheGoat]

so far i think i need to

buy as many strings of fairy lights as the national grid can cope with.

buy a bulk load of baubles and shiney things and generally fling them about the place.

buy a load of pinka nd red table ware and table cloth.

I'd need a face that didn't balloon when my breasts did. How does she do that? I wouldn't mind the extra stones at all if only my face stayed the same. You can't really look 'sexy in a womanly way' with bull-dog jowls, if the truth be told.

according to mumsnetters I have nice skin as well!

Oh NotanOtter, you don't do that mad thing I saw in last month's Country Homes and Interiors, no tree, girt big Georgian country house, they had basically scattered some baulbles across the floor. Very very posed and odd.

hotdarnnit.

crunch, crunch, crunch. The Christmassy sound of children treading ground bauble-glass into the Aubusson.

Yes onebat have to admit my face has ballooned with my tits

I was watching it and suddenly thought 'Oh her boobs look like mine' I'm breastfeeding though and I'm a 34K so then I started wondering what size Nigella is and then thought oh hang on she's cooking something Christmassy but it was lamb tagine.

lol Nigella stream of consciousness

My top five threads on threads I am on are all Nigella ones.

Oh, I tried to write stream of consciousness on my post but I couldn't spell it

Dh is a lifelong spare ribs fan but was not taken by Nigella's recipe the other night.

Why not? I asked.

Because she cooks in her dressing gown - it's unhygienic! he said.

Please someone tell me how the male brain works

lol at this thread

i have bought 5 boxes of tiny baubles and just put them in a large flatish serving bowl in the hall just at toddler eye height...dreamy...i see the babies looking in it and just think 'i hope they remember that when they are big'

don't forget to invite a load of well turned out actors you have never set eyes on before friends to try out your recipes

making sure you have a token black good cultural mix

I copied her idea of bunging a load of candy canes into a glass and putting on mantlepiece - DSs too young to realise they are eadible!!!

Last year I tried to put some baubles into a large round vase but mine didnt fit nicely and looked a bit pants!

Only caught the last min of Nigella last night and was a bit at the squirting of cream on mince pie shot!!!! Kitchen porn indeed!

marry a millionaire

'Cute accesory kids' ?!

Her DD is deffo an ugly duckling. She will prob grow up to be spindly, willowy and delicate but at the moment she is gangly awkward and not all that pretty

I can't watch Nigella, all the drifting in and out of focus gives me headaches.

My house is v Christmassy downstairs. I don't bother with upstairs.

The Radio Times cheerfully told me that Nigella would be making vegetarian mince pies. Vegetarian ones Imagine!

I haven't had to worry about whether bought mincemeat has had real suet in it for 10 years.

And I don't believe that Nigella gets up in the night to eat squirty cream either.

get a set designer?

She's on BBC Breakfast at the moment, and the cameraman gave us a side profile of her chest. Bet that wasn't coincidental!

How big is she?!!!

can i be unkind and suggest a liberal smearing of goose fat was applied to the camera lens before filming commenced? it was very soft focus and lots of peering through things...........

i do like nigellas programmes but really the mince pie thing at the end was a bit too much

I was looking forward to watching this but it was terrible.

buy a cardi one size too small in every colour
go to Morocco and buy up a plane load of tea glasses, tagines and glittery bowls- don't forget the hash pipe to give everything a hazy glow
acquire some stooge friends willing to come and sit in a warehouse
eat gutbuster pie and spary cream until you are a size bigger

pmsl!!