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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

do you HAVE to buy people presents?

46 replies

stitch · 26/11/2008 22:05

if it is not completely obvious what to get them, then do you really have to get them anything at all?
and if a child has everything, then why on earth are you asking for ideas on what else to buy them? surely they already have more than enough?

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 26/11/2008 22:07

Talk to them about it! We have cut right down. If a DC has everything put money in a savings account or take them out for the day instead.

Original poster
stitch · 26/11/2008 22:09

i am getting a bit 'bah humbug' about these christmas threads. maybe i should hide them.
but i dont understand people......

OP posts:
whyme2 · 26/11/2008 22:09

hmm. you sound a tad peeved with all this present buying malarkey. But I agree, sometimes it seems a bit unnatural and I hate receiving pressies that are bought because it's christmas and not because I might actually like the item.

serin · 26/11/2008 23:02

Am with you Stitch.

CharleeInChains · 26/11/2008 23:06

Sorry i am going to jump over the fence and disagree! I can't stand it when people don't buy thier kids something at xmas just because they don't need it. But i am one of thoses people that brough pressies for ds1 when he was only 1 month old on his first xmas so hey what do i know?!

Danae · 26/11/2008 23:19

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serin · 26/11/2008 23:31

Charleeinchains, Oh my kids will be getting plenty for Christmas inc. a new bike, playmobile and ugg boots, but I think stitch was upset at people who can't think what to buy their children because they already have everything there is.

In addition to their presents my kids also choose gifts from the Oxfam and Unicef websites and they enjoy this.

CharleeInChains · 26/11/2008 23:33

Yeah i guess so, i can't think what to get my ds but thats not because he has everything it's because he is damn hard to buy for!

piscesmoon · 27/11/2008 07:43

It all seems a bit joyless Danae! 2.5 yrs is time for wonder and magic IMO.

cherryontopofthexmastree · 27/11/2008 09:56

danae- i agree with pisces- that age is the best as they are totally surprised and love unwrapping presents. my youngest dd will be 2.9 at xmas and absolutely adores the festive season, she has even written a letter to FC (with my help) but she knew what she wanted for christmas, she asked for a dolly and some clothes for her dolly! it is so magical for them at that age

TsarChasm · 27/11/2008 09:58

Oh no, I love buying for children but old people can be awful to buy for.

I do wonder in that case when it's such an enormous struggle to find something, why we do it.

Danae · 27/11/2008 11:28

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Danae · 27/11/2008 11:32

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Fiveplusbump · 27/11/2008 11:33

I have told all my family that I am only buying for my DC this year ,is was horrified but she dosen't have to move in new year or save up for new baby she also does not have 5 dc .

I am concentrating on just making it happy for my family , and we have cut right down on DC aswell because I am sick of finding things unused 5 months after Xmas or bits of tat they never play with all over the place.

{scrooge emoticon}

AMumInScotland · 27/11/2008 11:40

Danae - Sorry to hear your memories of Christmas are bad ones, it must take some effort to get past that kind of stuff when you come to raising your own children.

But there are still lots of ways of making Christmas a "special" time of year for your children without having to do the Father Christmas thing, or having huge piles of presents. Lots of people don't do those things, for different reasons, and still have a great time at Christmas without anyone feeling they've missed out.

Just get your DD one nice thing, and she'll enjoy it - some children get piles of stuff and barely play with any of it, what's the point in that?

Make up your own ways of having a special day - whether that's getting up early or having a lie in, one present or lots, Father Christmas or not. You don't have to do it any particular way just because "lots" of people do, just find things that you enjoy doing nd make them into our own traditions.

Danae · 27/11/2008 11:43

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cat64 · 27/11/2008 11:49

This reply has been deleted

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AMumInScotland · 27/11/2008 11:51

What age is your DD, and what kinds of things does she like? A day full of things she enjoys and doesn't usually get is "magical" when they're small... and as they get older, having family traditions like always doing the tree together, or making cakes, or having a CD of cheesy Christmas songs you listen to while you decorate, that kind of stuff, all makes it a time of year which is different and special. Just wipe the slate of the things your family did, and start fresh with what works for you.

FWIW we never did Santa, and DS doesn't get huge piles of stuff, but he still really enjoys Christmas all the same. He would have been freaked by the idea of Santa coming into his room in the night, just because he was a nervous child - it's a more common reaction than you'd think, even for children who don't have any reasons for being scared.

Danae · 27/11/2008 11:55

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Danae · 27/11/2008 11:55

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UpSinceCrapOClock · 27/11/2008 11:59

Danae - sorry to hear about your childhood Christmasses but I'm sure you'll still make it magical for your dd.

I'm a bit fed up of chocolate advent calendars with just a picture on the front (often unrelated to Christmas), and this year I found a little decoration with a drawer hidden in it, so I have bought one each ofr the dc's (as an experiment this year, we'll see how it goes as they are still too young to really understand anything!) and every night will hide a Christmas decoration in there for them to take out and hang up wherever they like in the morning. The theory being that we will start to decorate the flat over the advent period and it will look more Christmassy as we get closer to Christmas (we'll see how it goes in practice - dd is only 2 1/2 )

The magic of Christmas as I remember when I was a child was definitely in the build up and the preparation - making biscuits, decorations etc

mazzystartled · 27/11/2008 12:00

danae, you are not your parents [i have to say this to my dh all the time]. giving her a small unexpected gift - from you - will be lovely. it sounds trite, but reclaim it for yourself a bit, low-key but lovingly. you don't have to big up the santa thing if you don't want to. mates/nursery/school will do that - its inevitable. in fact your line about commemorating a nice old saint sounds good too me.

AMumInScotland · 27/11/2008 12:02

Well, at 2.5 she won't be that bothered, so do what works for you on the day. But maybe it would help if you got some counselling to help you come to terms with your own childhood, now that you have a child of your own? I've seen comments from others that having your own child really brings these things back up when you realise how your childhood didn't match up with what other people had, or with what you want for her. Getting the chance to talk through it all with someone can stop it getting in the way of your new family.

Danae · 27/11/2008 12:09

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EachPeachPearMum · 27/11/2008 12:15

Danae I'm with you on the FC thing (and where have you been, not seen you for a while...)
We haven't told DD(2.10) about FC but others have, and she actually said to us 'I don't want FC to bring any presents- I just want presents from Mama and Papa' I think FC is quite a disturbing figure to little children- it's the way he can just get into your home, and then they start to worry that other people can get in too.

1 big present is much more healthy- they will enjoy it and not be overwhelmed. Last christmas we just did a big present, and DD opened that christmas morning. She opened other presents from relations on consecutive days, 1 a day so that she could spend time playing with each and appreciating properly.
She had a lovely time, whereas I know children with the huge piles of presents who just didn't get christmas, and are overwhelmed and upset. For us Christmas isn't about presents anyway- we focus on precious time spent with family and friends, lovely meals and playing together etc.- all the more valuable when everyone works all the time.

I'm very sorry Christmas is such a hard time for you personally- perhaps it is best to downplay it as much as possible and focus on DD's b'day as the big celebration in your house- especially as it's a different time of year.

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