Please share the worst/totally useless christmas present you have ever had.

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

I have an aunt who sends my mother a box (as in small) of biscuits to share between us all. As we all live in different parts of the country, this is quite hard. This is the same aunt who gave me 2 un-matching pillowcases.

A box of cards with cat photographs was the worst, they all had different poses and props. I really did want to vomit.

my mum once bought me a broken second hand telly for christmas to be fair she only realised it didnt work when she got it home 3 days before xmas and couldnt be arsed to take it back she bought my sister a brand spanking new hand held palm top computer i felt slightly put out by that i can tell you
xx ei xx

That's bad!!

ye it really was to add insult to injury the casing was brown in like a fakey wood effect so it was as old as the hills i now consider that christmas to be one thatb went without a gift from my mum and dad its easier on the jealous eye poking tendencies feelings towards my family
xx ei xx

My worst present wasn't totally useless (actually v practical) but it's practicality made me soooo ! DH bought me a set of Nigella mixing bowls about 5 years ago. Yes they were lovely but no I did not want them for Christmas!!

My parents gave me £30 for christmas one year so I used most of it to buy a quilt as we lived in a house with no heating. After christmas she brought one for each of my brothers. I found this unfair as I had used my christmas money and they had presents and a quilt.

My now ex p bought me a huge stinking cheese last year. That was all. And he only bothered giving it to me on the 27th. It was fucking disgusting and made the whole kitchen reek. I later found out the deli had over ordered & were selling them cheap after Christmas.

For my birthday, he gave me a crumb-pet (table top hoover thing) and a copy of his own book.

So, a thoughtless fuckwit and an egomaniac

my dad bought my mum a set of mens hair clippers the year before last i unashamedly laughed my bloody arse off as she was very unhappy with a gift she could only use to cut my dads hair with what goes around comes around i say
xx ei xx

Ha ha at clippers.

Similarly, my parents once bought me a cafetiere.

I don't drink coffee. They were hacked off abot the lack of decent coffee chez moi.

Didn't really know what to say to that one.

i would say thanks and then re-gift it to DHs nan im joking im not really ----
xx ei xx

Last year my sister gave me my Xmas present at the start of December while she was over one day. I put it in DS's room on the floor near a radiator.

I opened it up on Christmas day only to find a huge basket of mould!!! She had bought me a cheese basket from Asda and didn't think to tell me it would perish

Almost as bad as the presents I always get from my parents. Last year I got a book for £4.99 on how to save money! I know Christmas is all about giving but hey, I spent about £200 on them!

The year dd1 was born (I'd been a mum for 6 days) sil gave us a basket of dried bread rolls she'd put together and varnished herself. Also incorporated dried varnished kidney beans.

swedishmum you win hands down with that most awful "present" what did you say?? did you cry and then blame the hormones??
xx ei xx

Sorry swedishmum! PMSL!!!!!

How terrible!

Dear me swedish mum, that takes the (artfully varnished) biscuit.

Last year MIL gave me a pair of fishnet tights and a cheese wire.
It's the bizarre combination that gets me, apart from the fact I am too old for fishnets and who tf needs a cheeswire, I have a drawerful of perfectly good knives thank you. But I suspect that one was a regift.

haha sputnik how strange im glad my mil gets me the same perfume every year that i never wear and recently sold on ebay my nan used to get me 12 pairs of size 10-12 knickers if you saw my arse you would wonder about her eyesight as i often do i would have to sew them all together just to cover my bottom
xx ei xx

Sputnik, perhaps the cheese wire was supposed to go beneath the fishnets?? !

I remember the Xmas I gave dp a card in bed saying "Your present is me, I'm under the tree" and then lay there for f**king ever whilst he went back to sleep. Then when I got fed up I went and woke him up, and he gave me a beautiful ring - but then couldn't decide whether we should be engaged or not, as he "didn't really believe in it". So after some discussion we decided we were, and went to spend the day with his family, who were decidedly underwhelmed with our news. Anyway, ditched him and married someone else instead!

I wonder what goes through people's heads when they buy things like this. How odd!

mine wasnt useless last year but -

2 x kitchen cupboard doors in white mdf which look very odd with the rest of the pine cupboards.

An afro comb for my lank, fine, white girl's hair. Thanks Great Aunty Tinny and God rest you.

Portofino

An 'ethnic' pot pouri holder from my mother (and that was it!).

I'm not materialistic and it would have been ok if my sister hadn't turned up with her v wealthy BF. They lived together but for some bizzare reason she decided she was going to bring the sack of presents he had bought her to open at our parent's house instead of opening at home which would have made more sense.

I then had to sit there single and unloved holding my b*dy pot pouri holder whilst she opened hundreds of pounds worth of gifts including a gold bracelet and some leather boots.

this thread should come with a warning

I nearly woke dd from her dream feed I was laughing so much about the mum with hair clippers and the varnishes beans

MIL bought me a frog ornament last year

Because I like frogs

No idea where she got this idea from!