Hi,
My first post ever here, and I'm not sure that I'm posting on the right sub, but here goes!
Long story short: My mother has refused to see or speak to me (and by extension, my children - 11, 9) for two months following a disagreement that originated between my brother and I. (My brother and I are now fine and have been since shortly after the incident). To be honest, I've come to terms with her not having contact with me. It is sad, but probably for the best right now. The thing that makes me sad is that my children have now had no relationship with her for 2 months. During this time, my Mother-in-Law has passed away. It was not unexpected, as she had been very frail and in and out of hospital for many months. My mother had been aware of her condition - I'm not sure if she's aware that she had died, but it had been imminent. So now my children seem to have no grandmothers, which really breaks my heart.
A big concern of mine is that we are now approaching Christmas. Normally, my husband, children and I spend Christmas day itself at home, just the four of us. Then we spend one day at my in-laws and one day at my parents. The in-laws visit is usually a very quiet one, even before my MiL became unwell. They don't really do games, films, music, just a modest roast dinner with us and my husbands parents and present opening for the children. My parents' gathering is much more lively - I have 3 siblings (one who lives overseas) with their spouses and a niece and nephew. We play card or board games, video games and the dinner is much more of a special meal. My children really look forward to this gathering.
This year, I am facing the prospect that me and my little family will not be welcome to the full Christmas gathering on my side. Additionally, my husband's side of the family is now just his dad. I still want Christmas to be special for my children. I was considering the idea of going away for a short break somewhere (If it's not too late to book!) so we still have something fun to look forward to over Christmas. But then, that would leave my father-in-law on his own. We could take him, but he is about to turn 80 and I'm not sure what kind of trip would appease both the elderly and the active youngsters!
Do I hang about and hope that the relationship between my mother and I has healed by Christmas time? Do I book a trip away for just us but make sure we see FiL over Christmas? Do I continue trying to find somewhere to go that would work for both DC and FiL? Do I just accept that this Christmas will be a different one and roll with the punches?
Thank you for any advice or similar stories! Family alienation is new to me