I want to go away next Christmas and do no planning, no shopping, no stress

[Florally]

It wasn’t a bad Christmas, in fact, all pics, experiences and reviews from attendees would probably say it was a great Christmas.

But I’m so tired, I kind of don’t see the point. Spending thousands of pounds (I would imagine if I added it up) and a hamster wheel of cooking, clearing, dishwasher, dishwasher, dishwasher, tidying, start again for dessert, start again for tea.

I just want to go somewhere where they make Christmas dinner and maybe there’s some entertainment or something in the evening.

Everyone is against this of course 😂

Am I wrong?

It’s all a bit ‘what’s the point’ isn’t it?

We went away once for Christmas. It was brilliant! Breakfast out Xmas morning. Lazy day at the pool and then out to our favourite restaurant for dinner in the evening. It was so chilled. So we might have spent the money on flights and accommodation but no massive €500 grocery shop. No cooking & cleaning. No guests!!!
We are thinking about going next year.

I was thinking the same but now thinking that a compromise might be to host next christmas again with the family but then book a few days away after Christmas just me and dh rather than the hosting ( doing all the work ) dragging on for days. If we have something ( hotel or cottage ) away booked we can just say sorry we won't be here from x date so sort yourselves out.

Where? Where?!

Lanzarote.

I would love to, mum refuses. But it won’t be cheaper, hosting costs around £500 going away will be £1000 each and there’s 10-12 of us depending on who is available though my DD’s fly in anyway so their cost is £1000 between them plus dps approx even in England

Who is the ‘everyone else’ in your case, and what, if anything did they do to share the workload or what could/should they have done?

(you didn’t frame this as an AIBU post but YANBU by the way to want a relaxing holiday period!)

Yeah it’s expensive for sure. Worth it though for the stress free Christmas in the sun. I know lots of people love Christmas and hosting etc but I really don’t! It’s such a faff.

we went away for Christmas last year for a white Christmas, it was a bit different to what you want in that we had a lovely Christmas breakfast out then free time then went to friends for dinner but it was a little bit strange doing it that way. I kind of wanted to be home with my dishwasher lol and wanted to really go to town cooking/baking….and being out visiting the very quiet snowy zoo on Christmas Eve also seemed a bit odd…. not having sellotape or scissors or anything was annoying…. I fully appreciate that it was a privilege tho. going away on St Stephen’s Day would be perfect tho not too early in morning so all cleaned up think.

Easy solution then. Next year "everyone" who is against going away does all the work for Christmas, and you do exactly nothing except exist in your own home. Perhaps go away alone for a night or two on the 23-34th to avoid getting sucked into the end of the organisation.

Never agreed with a post more op. I am broken after so much hosting. Never again.

We are thinking of doing the same, after hosting for 12 this year in our tiny house, I’m shattered. Next year there is only 3 of us here, so a perfect year to piss off elsewhere. Need to think about getting the pets cared for though, family usually do it for us but wouldn’t at Christmas as they’d be busy.

You can’t make everyone else go away, but you can stop hosting.

You can’t make anyone else step up but you can stop stepping up.

Don’t focus on right or wrong, should or shouldn’t - that just emotion and guilt muddying the waters.

Just do the small thing you can do to change and then see how things fall into place around that.

Me too, I'm not sure where but after 30 years of people pleasing and feeling deflated after, I'm thinking fuck it I'd rather be on my own somewhere.

We went to Lanzarote for Christmas a couple of years ago. Loved it. 😍
We flew out this year on Boxing Day, had dinner Christmas Eve and buffet Christmas day.
Currently sitting in the sun 🌞
Nannygaga.

Remember, going away doesn’t have to mean abroad. I know it’s nice to maybe have some sun at this time of year, but the main goal is to get away from the hosting debacle. Find somewhere localist that is doing a Christmas meal, or even a short break, and go for it.

We have done it a couple of times. We don’t have kids of our own, but my dad remarried when I was 26 or so, after my mum died when I was 22. (I was 50 in October). His wife’s family is nice enough but they are all quite loud, several kids, one of which is a bit of a handful. So, we sort out our own plans and then visit my dad in the few weeks before or after Christmas. Add to the fact that I choose to be NC with my only sibling, I much prefer it this way, and my dad is easy about it.

I agree, OP.

We're off to Egypt next Christmas.

We did the Caribbean one year.

was lovely.

sadly mil chucked a tantrum about not having her whole family round her so only the once….

I’ve just got back from doing that exact thing, and it’s been delightful. Strong recommend

Really want to do this next year!
Again, its been lovely but SO much work and I'm tired.
Mum has 2 siings she could go to, my pils are due at sils and I don't intend to host at all...
Dh and I could just go away between Christmas and boxing day...
Somewhere lovely in the uk...
Any tips for a successful twixmas break greatfully received!

My teenage DS and I went on a cruise over Christmas and New Year the year my DH died.
It was perfect. We could do exactly what we wanted with no pressure.
To be honest a travelodge and a take away curry would do me but I’d feel guilty leaving my elderly father alone. I will do it one day.

Definitely away next year....no cards, no gifts, no tree...don't want any part of it. Air pods, few books, sun and cocktails...perfect Christmas I would say x

I’ve no idea why people don’t just do what they want. Who cares if other people moan about it? If they want a Christmas with all the trimmings they’re welcome to pull their thumb out their bum and provide themselves with one. I’ve never hosted a Christmas in my life and never intend to. Last year I went solo travelling for 6 weeks leaving my partner at home because he didn’t have that much time off. This year we stayed at home together, I popped to a friends’ during the day then we went for a curry. I honestly couldn’t care less what anyone thinks or feels about this.

No, you're not wrong.

Where would you like to go and who would come too? Children etc.

We go away every year now, wouldn’t consider a uk Xmas again, (health permitting) we have the build-up of catching up with family and friends and then fly 21st/22nd. Nothing beats putting shorts and flip flops on Xmas morning to go for a nice walk down the beach and finding somewhere for a brunch, we tried AI last year but found it was Xmas dinners and English breakfasts so now we go self catering as prefer to wander and find somewhere we like the look of, or just meat and cheeses from the supermarket.
we tried a lodge in the uk but found we still ended up doing all the traditional stuff but in a kitchen not as well equipped as my own!

I opted out of Christmas a couple of years ago. DH gets a tree and decorates it as he likes it. He also cooks the Christmas dinner, again, because he likes it. That's it. No fuss, no presents, just a chill day.

The only annoying thing is putting up with everyone else being hyper focussed on xmas from mid October to now. It's boring really.