Anyone else had an awful day.....

[Cottoncandy1983]

My mother decided to tear me to shreds over absolutely nothing this afternoon while I was half way through cooking dinner. Needless to say, no Christmas dinner was eaten and I was made to feel like I just wanted to end everything.

Anyone else had a bad day after they were looking forward to it all year?

Someone shot my cat last Sunday*, and then I came down with some sort of fluey bug on Xmas Eve. So it's been a bit crap this year!

*He's doing ok, but very angry about being confined to a cage for 6 weeks while his broken leg heals.

We had a lovely xmas day and dinner etc...but a friend who emigrated to sicily over 30 years ago, was diagnosed very quickly with pancreatic and liver cancer..only one month ago...and she didnt tell us until last week...we were trying to get a flight over just for a day trip to see her in the hospice..but all flights sold out over xmas ....she passed away on the 24th. so that put a cloud over the events.

I was battling a stinky cold since Monday. Just the three of us this year. Lost both sets of parents in the last 9 years, the most recent earlier this year, both siblings doing their own thing, one may have time for a call with me in a few days. One who always declined Christmas invites and refused to have people over theirs (don’t want to travel, want to spend it alone….) has gone away with friends which (and I know this is ridiculous) feels like a sucker punch to the stomach as they are doing what they said they’d never do. Clearly it was us, not the travel. Christmas was always a family affair, now our world is very small. No one to go and see (all friends with family), still too ill to do much anyway. People with bigger issues for sure just feeling sorry for myself and adjusting to much smaller christmases from now on. For the first time, I’m looking forward to going back to work. What a waste of precious annual leave

@Cottoncandy1983 I'm sorry you had such a shit day yesterday. My day was the usual, cooking!!! My son was going to do it then had a change of heart. So muggins ended up doing it all

Just remember Christmas is just another day, it’s a bit of an illusion. The adverts aren’t real. Don’t hold yourself and your family to standards that aren’t real every year.

Hi OP, just wanted to say - I would
not spend Christmas (or any other time of year) with anyone who treated me like that.

I don’t understand why people put up with these toxic family members. Hope you’re ok x

The day was nice, spent with DS2 having leftovers and watching movies as he was out of town and 'main dinner' was Xmas Eve w/DS1. Xmas night was another story.

On the way home in the evening from DS2's, I got call from drunk estranged DH that he had called 911 and was going to the ER. Why? He wouldn't say why he'd called them. Then later got a call from the ER doc wanting information because DH didn't know who called 911 or why he was there. Had to explain the current situation (separated, he called 911 for himself) and say that I had no idea why he'd called. Then, to top it all off later as I was settling down for the night, a call from the local police department asking me to come get him from the ER and take him home. I explained that we had been advised by SW and counselors to not 'rescue' him any more plus I had been advised by LEO not to be around him due to his behaviour when drunk. So I politely declined and then was made to feel like shit. I then get a call from an extremely upset DS1 (who lives 2 hours away, is NC with his dad, and still has anxiety from his dad's behaviour) saying he had been called to come get his dad and he had refused and was also made to feel like shit.

He was eventually driven home by the police. Why the fuck didn't they just do that to begin with?

And because of DH's drinking and behaviour I no longer enjoy drinking myself so I couldn't even pour myself a stiff one to relax.

That’s very sad, I’m so sorry 😞 Sending hugs your way xx

Tell your daughter, from me, I think she's absolutely amazing for preparing that meal for you all, stuff her brother! Our 19 year olds culinary skills were limited to heating up the last croissant this morning without offering it to anyone else first! No way on this earth will she be cooking Christmas dinner for herself let alone her family anytime soon!

So well done to your DD, she's a good egg 👍🏻

DH's results were fine today at A&E. It's stress and lack of sleep thank goodness. Thank you to those who responded.

We are still going away tomorrow!! 😁

I hope you told him he’s extremely rude and nasty? Where does he get off speaking to his little sister who’s kindly cooked his dinner like that?

Your dd needs to know you have her back - your ds sounds like a bully.

Agree with this and he sounds typical of the sort of males that feature on so many posts that treat their partners like shit on here.

Sadly I think you’re right.

His friends (male and female) say he would do anything fit anyone but when it comes to his family he’s so very selfish

Do you live with her Op?

That is awful. Do u know who did it?

Yes I do. I'm 42 and still get treated like a child. I asked her why she never treated my older siblings like she does me and I got told "how could I do that when she was married". So because I've never been married or have children, I can be treated like a child? I've been ill since I was 14 or so I guess I'm just weak and deserve to be treated like dirt.

You do NOT deserve to be treated like this!! Kids or not!! I'm so sorry that she treats you this way, it's totally unacceptable! What illness do you have?

You absolutely don’t deserve it OP - you need some help and support. Have you thought about speaking to your GP about your mother’s behaviour? Or Women’s Aid might be a good shout.

No idea unfortunately, but our village is only small so chances are it's a neighbour. Which is a horrible thought.

My Christmas was just terrible. My (now ex) boyfriend has had an awful year with health, financial issues and family alienation. We'd been looking forward to have our first Christmas together to relax and recover. I noticed his mental health starting to spiral in the last few weeks. He never admitted mental health issues, pretending to be fine. I have some professional expertise in mental health, so did what I could to keep things calm and support.
Yesterday early evening his mood was noticeable different. The anger took me by complete surprise, and after two wines I wasn't able to control myself as well as I would have liked. Rather than leave it I tried to defend myself against his verbal attack. It did not go well and he asked me to leave, while shouting whenever I tried to reason with him. It was awful.
He's now decided our relationship is over, as he thinks we're incompatible. Our connection has always been good throughout. So just this one event has done it. There is nothing I can do,.he's asked I don't contact him or come to his house. I accept it's over, realise he needs to focus on his situation and just doesn't have headspace for a relationship. But I'm very sad,.worried about him, and my future too as we were planning a way to escape our stressful jobs and build a new life together. So worst Christmas ever. Warm wishes to all of you who had a difficult Christmas! It will get better x

OP, you can contact Adult Social Care where you live and make a safeguarding alert for yourself, or you could get a GP appointment and ask them to help you contact the safeguarding team.
If you are over 50, these organisations are good:
Age UK can offer support
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/about-us/what-we-do/
you can enter your postcode on their site to find out what is available locally and they also have a helpline open 365 days a year from 9am -7pm tel:08006781602 0800 678 1602.
Their Family & Relationships section has lots of safeguarding information for you
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/health-wellbeing/relationships-family/protection-from-abuse/
Hourglass can also offer support (and have a 24 hour helpline 0808 808 8141)
https://wearehourglass.org/hourglass-services

Other options include speaking to the police for advice and putting yourself on the local council's housing register.
If she assaults or abuses you again, phone 999-she is breaking the law and you do not have to endure this.

All the best @Cottoncandy1983

This is abuse. Please protect yourself. She doesn't deserve to be anywhere near you. x

I have marfans syndrome and a heart condition. I had my first relationship when I was 25 but I have been paying for that ever since. It turned out to be quite a toxic and controlling relationship that went on for 15 years but every time she gets in her mood I get it thrown back in my face. "U put Ur illness on, ure mental, u were well enough to f**k someone" blah blah and then sometimes she tells me that she finds the relationship that I had very funny which it certainly wasn't. Maybe that relationship was my punishment for me being ill and my mother had to be my carer.

OP, your New Year's Resolution should be to sack that evil woman off. Her behaviour is unacceptable. I know it will be hard - my mother was emotionally abusive too. But think how much freer you will feel away from her!