Page 2 | Anyone else had an awful day.....

Cottoncandy1983 · 2025-12-25T23:28:46+00:00

My mother decided to tear me to shreds over absolutely nothing this afternoon while I was half way through cooking dinner. Needless to say, no Christmas dinner was eaten and I was made to feel like I just wanted to end everything. Anyone else had a bad day after they were looking forward to it all year?

yoshiblue · 26/12/2025 10:57

HearMeSnore · 25/12/2025 23:39

Most of the day was pretty rubbish. Couldn’t get DDs new console set up because DH had set up her Nintendo account with a stupid spam-proof email address and couldn’t remember the password. She’d been so happy when she unwrapped it and it broke my heart to see her getting more and more despondent as the day went on and he still couldn’t sort it. Eventually around 5pm she found a workaround and they managed to get it set up. She was all smiles after that but I’d lost all my Christmas spirit and had to fake it for the rest of the day.

Sorry to read this, I would have been the same as a child. Getting a console for Christmas is the most exciting thing, but so gutting if it doesn’t work. Hope she’s having lots of fun with it now x

Original poster

Cottoncandy1983 · 26/12/2025 12:54

PurBal · 26/12/2025 05:19

Yep. Mother-in-law is end of life. She couldn’t get out of bed. DH and in-laws spent most of the day talking about hospice care and she called us all in one by one to say goodbye. I can’t sleep because I know I have to tell my 4 year old she’s dying in the morning and she might have died in the night.

Im so sorry for you and your family. Sending all my love and prayers ❤️

OP posts:

Orangesandlemons77 · 26/12/2025 13:11

I have recently been diagnosed with ME / CFS so limited in what I can do at the moment, have MIL staying and got some annoying comments over preparing the Christmas dinner which I have tried to ignore.

Laughing and saying 'here comes the chief chef' at me and then going on about DH 'having cooked everything' (it was all ready made, I got it from e.g M&S as knew I would not be up to cooking so just needed heated up)

Sigh. Then at dinner started making a fuss about how DH had 'cooked everything but now was hardly eating anything"

She always comments on who is eating what etc, I think she has an eating disorder but still it is a bit much bringing others into it.

Then this morning she is going on about how she is sick from 'too much rich food, she isn't used to eating it all" etc

I have no patience for the drama or comments and have gone back to bed.

motherofdragons11 · 26/12/2025 13:13

LemaxObsessive · 26/12/2025 01:09

Bit dramatic! DD having to wait a few hours for one of her toys is not a big deal. I’m not surprised she was despondent if that was your reaction.

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That's a massive deal for a child!

Look at this wonderful present, but no, you can only look at it, and unless Dad can sort it you won't be able to use it.
It's an upset child at Christmas. End of.

BagpussWasRight · 26/12/2025 13:38

OP, I'm sorry you were treated badly-does your mother hit you? You don't have to be anyone's verbal or physical punch bag, I hope you are safe, and have someone to confide in.

Sweetmotherchuffer · 26/12/2025 13:53

After decades of awful Christmases, I had my first Christmas alone during COVID and I haven’t looked back. Every Christmas since has been perfect, with no manipulation, guilt or sense of obligation forced on me or arguments started out of nowhere by my incredibly toxic family.

I genuinely can’t recommend it enough and I hope those of you that have had an awful time this year have fabulous Christmases next year and forever after.

Gettingbysomehow · 26/12/2025 15:33

I hate christmas and it is the only time of year that sends me into a spiral of depression. TV has been garbage, I spent Christmas alone because my clutch needs fixing so I couldn't go to family but I just hate it generally alone or not.
I think it started with .y 2nd husband who made every christmas a misery for 20 years until we divorced.
I wish people would just let me forget about it. I don't want to do gifts or celebrate but every year this huge pressure to spend loads.

Original poster

Cottoncandy1983 · 26/12/2025 15:39

BagpussWasRight · 26/12/2025 13:38

OP, I'm sorry you were treated badly-does your mother hit you? You don't have to be anyone's verbal or physical punch bag, I hope you are safe, and have someone to confide in.

Thank you for your kind words. Sometimes when she gets really bad she likes a punch in the boob or grabbing my face or shoving me on the couch when I'm trying to get away from her. I don't have anyone else to confide in except on here. Xx

OP posts:

Sweetmotherchuffer · 26/12/2025 16:12

@Cottoncandy1983 I’m so sorry that your mother treats you that way, you don’t deserve it. I found this charity hugely helpful napac.org.uk

Arlanymor · 26/12/2025 16:44

SliceofTosst · 26/12/2025 05:41

DH felt dizzy with palpitations which got worse through the day. Now in A&E after 111 recommended following assessment. Meant to be going away tomorrow but depends on results which will take 6 hours minimum.

I had this last week - the exact same scenario. I hope the results are helpful and that he feels a lot better soon.

Blushingm · 26/12/2025 16:52

DD cook d as I was working. She’s 19 and did really well, chicken, gammon, mash, roasties, carrots, broccoli cauliflower Yorkshire’s pigs in blankets and gravy….DS 23 found a lump in his mash and wouldn’t just leave it so DD shouted at him. He stormed off then came down and said the sooner she goes back to uni the better and she had better not come back or he will change the locks.

He left, she cried and I just lots of nasty texts all night

momager1 · 26/12/2025 16:53

we had a lovely christmas eve with our best friends and our teenage godchildren. We live abroad and they are here also. I miss our kids and grands so christmas morn, we all zoom called, and it was lovely..they opened the presents we had ordered and we opened theirs for us.. (thank you amazon) had a laugh for about an hour. Realized our daughter was a bit more subdued than her normal self (she is our organizer, bigmouth, never quite quite child at 37 years old) saw one of our sons being a bit to loud to try to cover up his sisters issue. So after I called her. Our son in law has been given an ultimatum . He is an amazing dad and husband, also an only child and his dad passed in Sept. His mother really really is the mother in law from hell, and now is in financial issues.. cannot pay mortgage... his dad left no money and no life insurance. Our son in law wants to move his mom in for 6 months to our bedroom at our daughters home. I have no prob with this.Our daughter does. She has said that if he moves his (toxic) mother in to her parents room, she will be moving herself and the teens into our two rooms . We live 4000 miles away! and NOPE. Our son in law is amazing but he is so stuck between a rock and hard place. Hours on the phone ruined it , but thats ok. I just want our daughter and son in law to be ok

kαλοκαλοκαιρι · 26/12/2025 17:00

Horrorscope · 26/12/2025 05:44

It’s not ‘a bit dramatic’! It’s an entirely reasonable response for a child on probably their most important day of the year. It’s not up to you to say whether it was a big deal to the person involved.

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i think they weren’t saying the kid didn’t have the right to be despondent, but that the mum losing all christmas spirit and having to fake it as a result of the disappointment of the situation was a bit dramatic and probably exacerbated the despondency of the kid*

*I’m not adding a value judgement myself, just saying that I don’t think this person was criticising a kid for a natural kid response

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 26/12/2025 17:06

Blushingm · 26/12/2025 16:52

DD cook d as I was working. She’s 19 and did really well, chicken, gammon, mash, roasties, carrots, broccoli cauliflower Yorkshire’s pigs in blankets and gravy….DS 23 found a lump in his mash and wouldn’t just leave it so DD shouted at him. He stormed off then came down and said the sooner she goes back to uni the better and she had better not come back or he will change the locks.

He left, she cried and I just lots of nasty texts all night

Edited

What did you say to the changing the locks jab?

Unless it’s his house I’d be putting him in his place swiftly

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 26/12/2025 17:09

Not an awful Christmas or awful day at all really, but today DP went to visit his grandfather in the morning and still hasn’t been back.

I can’t really pinpoint what’s annoying me about this, but it is annoying me. I think maybe because he didn’t say he’d be away all day or that it feels a bit rude he didn’t invite me if he knew he’d be out that long? I don’t know, it’s just not sitting great.

kαλοκαλοκαιρι · 26/12/2025 17:10

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 26/12/2025 17:06

What did you say to the changing the locks jab?

Unless it’s his house I’d be putting him in his place swiftly

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and even if it is his house i would uncordially invite him to cook his own fucking roast dinner in future if he’s so affected by a lump of potato :)

Rubyupbeat · 26/12/2025 17:10

@Cottoncandy1983I don't know what to say, except I am so sorry on how your mother treats you, no one deserves that type of treatment.

Notquitethetruth · 26/12/2025 17:16

Cottoncandy1983 · 26/12/2025 15:39

Thank you for your kind words. Sometimes when she gets really bad she likes a punch in the boob or grabbing my face or shoving me on the couch when I'm trying to get away from her. I don't have anyone else to confide in except on here. Xx

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OMG! She is physically abusing you and no doubt verbally too. Are you living together and are there other family members around? You cannot continue to tolerate this abuse any longer. Please give more info so you can get helpful advice.

Theredjellybean · 26/12/2025 17:25

Had up to now a nice week away with all my dds, dp, and my elderly but very fit and well mother.
Today my mother has a passive aggressive sulk on because I've done something to upset her ..I have no idea what, she refuses to tell me and has stated that " no I'm not telling you because you don't care "...I run around after her, include her in our family activities, pop in twice a week, organiser nice outings with her ( I worry she is lonely after my df died two yrs ago)....she has form for doing this to me. Never to my brother who barely bothers to see her....sigh...

Blushingm · 26/12/2025 17:25

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 26/12/2025 17:06

What did you say to the changing the locks jab?

Unless it’s his house I’d be putting him in his place swiftly

Show quote history

I told him it’s my house and she’s as welcome in my house as he is

Shes at uni, he lives at home with me.

BartholemewTheCat · 26/12/2025 17:26

momager1 · 26/12/2025 16:53

we had a lovely christmas eve with our best friends and our teenage godchildren. We live abroad and they are here also. I miss our kids and grands so christmas morn, we all zoom called, and it was lovely..they opened the presents we had ordered and we opened theirs for us.. (thank you amazon) had a laugh for about an hour. Realized our daughter was a bit more subdued than her normal self (she is our organizer, bigmouth, never quite quite child at 37 years old) saw one of our sons being a bit to loud to try to cover up his sisters issue. So after I called her. Our son in law has been given an ultimatum . He is an amazing dad and husband, also an only child and his dad passed in Sept. His mother really really is the mother in law from hell, and now is in financial issues.. cannot pay mortgage... his dad left no money and no life insurance. Our son in law wants to move his mom in for 6 months to our bedroom at our daughters home. I have no prob with this.Our daughter does. She has said that if he moves his (toxic) mother in to her parents room, she will be moving herself and the teens into our two rooms . We live 4000 miles away! and NOPE. Our son in law is amazing but he is so stuck between a rock and hard place. Hours on the phone ruined it , but thats ok. I just want our daughter and son in law to be ok

Sorry, I think I’m misunderstanding your post. Are you saying your DD is in the wrong for enforcing a perfectly understandable boundary with her MIL “from Hell”, and you won’t be housing her if she moves out from the family home? I realise this isn’t AIBU but that’s one heck of a position for you to take.

Blushingm · 26/12/2025 17:27

kαλοκαλοκαιρι · 26/12/2025 17:10

and even if it is his house i would uncordially invite him to cook his own fucking roast dinner in future if he’s so affected by a lump of potato :)

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She had done so well - one lump. He just needs to grow up

momager1 · 26/12/2025 17:42

BartholemewTheCat · 26/12/2025 17:26

Sorry, I think I’m misunderstanding your post. Are you saying your DD is in the wrong for enforcing a perfectly understandable boundary with her MIL “from Hell”, and you won’t be housing her if she moves out from the family home? I realise this isn’t AIBU but that’s one heck of a position for you to take.

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No. she is not in the wrong.. but her husband is in a very hard position. I would not tell her that she is not welcome but I will try to encourage her to work things out. My son in law is an amazing dad and husband, and knows how horrible that his mother has been to our daughter and has always had her back. He is just in a horrible position right now. I love them both and just worry.

kαλοκαλοκαιρι · 26/12/2025 17:44

Blushingm · 26/12/2025 17:27

She had done so well - one lump. He just needs to grow up

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on the bright side she clearly has a lovely mum - hope the two of you had a much nicer boxing day 🖤

momager1 · 26/12/2025 17:45

momager1 · 26/12/2025 17:42

No. she is not in the wrong.. but her husband is in a very hard position. I would not tell her that she is not welcome but I will try to encourage her to work things out. My son in law is an amazing dad and husband, and knows how horrible that his mother has been to our daughter and has always had her back. He is just in a horrible position right now. I love them both and just worry.

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also understand my home is 4000 miles away on an island , kids are in school in Canada, daughter has a fantastic job, nothing like that here for them. If she left the family home, we would send her enough money to set herself and the kidup in a place there, but their dad does not deserve to lose access to the children that he has been a very hands on parent to. My daughter loves her husband, they will work it out, just really sad really for everyone