Need to rant? Come on over.

[DontlikeChristmas]

I’ll start. We’ve just opened presents. I couldn’t give a fig about presents for myself, but I think if you’re going to spend money on a gift for someone you’d may as well make sure it’s something they will like/use. DH has panic bought me a horrible tie dye jumper two sizes too big. I’ve never worn tie dye in my life. My mother has inexplicably bought me a truly awful outfit clearly meant for a teenager (I’m 50) in a colour I never wear, also in the wrong size. DH has also managed to buy DC a load of stuff they already have because he couldn’t be bothered to check. I feel so deflated by this & think it’s all such a massive waste of money (we probably could have gone out for dinner with the cost of the presents no one is going to wear/use, or made a charity donation).

We now have DHs family coming for dinner, who are lovely people but seem to have ever changing dietary requirements (none of which are due to diagnosed conditions) that it’s impossible to keep up with, so I’ve got to make about 15 different gluten-free/oil free/non-acidic/anti-inflammatory and whatever else dishes (DH ‘doesn’t do cooking’).

I’m over Christmas & it’s not even 8.30. Anyone else?

Really interesting thread.

A couple of thoughts.

Do the teens who are not expected to be part of the day, stay in the same room as the adults, do some hosting, play games, turn into the selfish uncaring adults that we are moaning about?

Is Christmas Day more stressful now since ‘December’ has become such an over commercialised, big thing (many events, gift boxes, polar breakfasts, matching jumpers/pj’s etc etc ) and the frequently mentioned over stimulation and short tempers are overtiredness? (SEND an exception).

Yes, there’s nothing quite as spectacularly noisy than a two year old getting overwhelmed and stropping at nothing. 😳

By the time l’d left my GGD yesterday, I felt like my ears were bleeding. 😂

Last year we were with DM for New Year. My bother had been with her over Christmas. She shamelessly lied to my brother (golden child) that we were only staying with her for one night, so as to get him to extend his stay for a night “so we could all be together for the one night NameChange is here.” Imagine his surprise when he said “so what time are you leaving tomorrow” and we said, er we are here for another 4 nights. I think it was the first time he had realised just how lyingly manipulative she is and how she would blacken my name without hesitation to get what she wants (very long history of this over many years).

Anyway. This year as usual DB is at my DM for Christmas and we said we will come at NY but we are not arriving several days earlier to overlap with him because you lied last year. Since then it’s been one long wail about how we are ruining DB’s Xmas since obviously the entire festive season is about us making the golden child happy. When I phoned yesterday to say Merry Christmas she didn’t even say Merry Christmas back because I had called her on the landline not the mobile meaning she couldn’t put me on speaker “so DB could hear”. So she spent 10 minutes complaining that. She managed to get a swipe in about us having beef and not turkey for lunch (as if it bloody matters). My DB sounded over it when I spoke to him. Well tough shit. He’s been enabling this behaviour for years.

What a relief to get that off my chest. Thank you. I am very lucky in other respects. Woke up late and DH had already done 2 loads of dishwashing and much other tidying and laundry.

I'd be: my house, my cheese, my mugs, thats what's happening!

My late OH was useless at picking presents for anyone, including himself! One year I suggested we each bought and wrapped our own present so on the 25th the surprise element was in what you're giving rather than receiving. On the 24th when I asked why his present wasn't under the tree he said he hadn't been able to think of anything for himself! He had a quick run down to Boots and bought an aftershave which he didn't like when he opened it, No, he hadn't tried it in the shop.

This is adorable! Love it 🥰

My husbands family are shit. His dad has no interest in our kids or my husband. MIL loves the poor me act and will roll out the tears at every get together. Her husband is lovely but talks at me for hours and I never get a word in. MIL looks at me as if I’ve 10 heads when I speak and she can’t be bothered to listen. BILs and SILs don’t send the kids anything for Christmas/birthdays (despite being well off) or even acknowledge the gifts we send their kids. But my husband still wants to send them stuff every year. MIL this year gifted body scrub for me and a cheap nail cutting set for my husband. That’s it. For our wedding she got us a broken clock! MIL and her husband also love to talk badly about the BILs and SILs every time we visit. I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall and hear what they say about me/us. I’m done making an effort with them.

Just to say…..well done everyone on soldering on and finding the positives.

its great to have this little corner where we can safely rant. It’s good therapy to write it down and get it off your chest.

Happy Christmas/New year everyone 😊 you are all great!!

I’m in absolute awe of all of you for not murdering your horrible, cruel, manipulative, thoughtless, petty (tick all that apply) families, relatives, acquaintances, neighbours etc. If only there were some way to harness all this righteous anger and convert it into energy, the climate crisis would be over. Huge hugs to all of you, especially the sad among you. Nobody should be treated like this at any time of year, let alone Christmas.

(@TellyTabby But how did you manage not to murder the pavlova destroyer?)

How does it work when one person doesn't get a present? Do you just say nothing? No "where's mine?" Or "you're not having yours anymore then" 😂
I genuinely don't understand.

At least you managed to sidestep it. We went to the local pub when visiting my dad. I ordered steak and ale pie, I'm barley intolerant and was in agony and bad stomach for 48 hours. The worst thing was that DH knows this and didnt stop me.

2 years and 2 days since I bought my ninja 10 in 1 oven and it breaks 45mins into cooking the turkey, so Christmas dinner took 5 hours to cook versus 3hours. And there is no longer a guarantee on it either - it's a 24m guarantee 😬🙄😭

I got nothing nothing at all I also would have liked some shower gel maybe even a chocolate orange would have been nice but I already ask for too much apparently no idea what it is I ask for exactly to watch our child so I can get a quick shower maybe 🤷‍♀️ far too much

My dad got me a pack of Christmas themed napkins.

Disposable napkins.

Heres the kicker: every single year before this for the last 12 years we’ve had £100 in a Christmas card. Always been grateful, gave a good relationship. DGrandmother died a couple years ago and left a pretty huge chunk of money to Ddad. 🙃 but thanks for the napkins!

My dad gave me a bottle of wine- I’m 2 years sober! Even said ‘is this inappropriate?’ As he handed it to me. I was actually pretty upset. We see each other a lot, he knows I’m in recovery.

Inform them that the size is wrong. Ask for receipt and change for sometime you like. If it’s temu then you’re stuffed. Tell husband never to buy clothes for you. You’re in Charge of this! Cook the food next year to your preference and they’ll either eat it or not. DO NOT let people take your hospitality for granted!

Well we took MIL home today and DH said it’s the most miserable Christmas he’s had in 20 years for which I think he partly blames me. However, I am taking the positive from this in that he has said himself that we will not be doing the same thing as we’ve done for the last 3 years, next year. At least this has opened the door to different options next year. I’ve said to him, I am not bothered about Christmas. I am quite happy to go away somewhere and he can spend Christmas with his mum. He’s seen the reality of taking the lead on hosting this year as I dropped out almost completely, and he didn’t enjoy it.

When your DS's only job is to put the whelley bin on the drive and he forgets the week before Christmas and it's crammed full and you have Friday collections so have to eek it out to 2nd Jan (our kitchen bin is now full).

Then on Christmas day your 3 days past warranty Ninja 10-in-1 stops working 45mins into cooking the turkey, so your meal takes 5 more hours to cook versus 2.5 cos you have to juggle what goes in the oven when...

Ok, so I don’t really post on threads like this and I am probably not raging but I know you lot will be! My baby is teething which has brought on a cold and a low grade fever - hence a very unhappy child wanting mummy all the time. I cooked Christmas dinner and I tied up afterwards and took the doggie for a walk all with the baby attached to me! Fine no issues. Up all night with her and up again this morning like normal…walk dog etc. hubby had a lie in - no issues then came down all dressed up at about 10 saying he can sort the baby. Lasted for all about 5 min. Not his fault she wanted me to try sat on our bed whilst I was in the shower and she has been with me ever since. At 4 pm he says he will take her so I tied up the kitchen and was just dozing off until dog? Husband and child came to join me…hubby nodded off while baby had her second wind…, I got up to play with her… he is still sleeping.,,😀

Yes it’s really not that difficult to sort out dairy free options just as you did .
I limit dairy and a completely dairy free friend stayed with me for a week so just got / made everything with substitutes .
plus that Swedish glacé ice cream is very nice

The smallest of gripes. I’m lucky as DH generally steps up really well but after three months of me asking him to do a job, it caught him out yesterday!! My elderly folks are here for Christmas and he only got round to using WD40 on our very stiff shower control two days before their arrival. I’ve been struggling with it for months and I knew my folks would too. It obviously needed more than one treatment which became abundantly clear when he found himself having to climb in fully clothed to turn it off for them and started Xmas day dripping!! 😆

This is the thread I needed yesterday 😂

I have a half brother who is 27; I suspect he has some form of covert narcissism as he always has to shit on the parade and bring the atmosphere down (that or some sort of sever energy vampirism!). Anyway, we spent Christmas at my dad's (me, my 4yo DD, DDad and bro). I spent three hours cooking dinner whilst my DD played with presents with my dad, my bro did a bit of Lego with her too (nice!).

Dinner's ready, my bro comes in, takes one look at the food and just goes silent. For the whole meal. Doesn't serve anything onto his plate, not one crumb. Dad asks him if he's OK, just grunts in reply. Evidently there's nothing on the table he likes, but I'd discussed my plans for what I was going to make about three months ago, and a couple of times over the last week, so it's hardly a surprise.

If he didn't like the sound of it he could have brought his own fucking food. Except he didn't, we just sat there eating dinner with this huge miserable fucking cloud hanging over us. Fuck him!!! And because my dad was worried about him, he forgets to say it's nice, thanks etc. so I just felt like I'd put three hours work when I could have been playing with DD for absolutely diddly squat. At least my 4yo ate some 😂

To top it off, after my bro went, all my dad did was witter on about my bro's mental health and how worried he is about him; it obviously ruined my dad's mood for the rest of the day (and all day today). My bro is just a grade A arsehole.

Ahhh that feels better

Ffing awful Xmas with the in-laws. Vicious SIL, pssed as a frt. Dreading the next visit.

Had the Killer’s song Don’t Shot me Santa running through my mind as Please Shot me Santa.

We've all gradually changed customs my side of the family; we don't buy adult presents anymore, before that we did a secret santa; all prep and contribute to the meal. DH and I exchange gifts but have learnt not to buy clothes and give ideas for things we would actually like to have. His side of the family have cut down but still get things I'll never use or wear, think a juicy tracksuit, huge themed slippers etc.

I'm not going to have a massive rant, no need for one. Just a little whinge.

We're at Butlins, being looked after very well. Had a lovely Christmas Day yesterday, unfortunately spoiled by our neighbours kicking off at 1am this morning. Lots of loud male shouting, banging and kicking the door etc. It went on for an hour, by which time I was thoroughly awake. Security came after about 45 minutes but that was too long. So - that is my only complaint.