Irritated by parents already😩

[Bellyblueboy]

I am an awful person. My parents are staying for Christmas - only arrived today - and I am already irritated.

The constant passive aggressive questions - the long, boring stories about people I don’t know - the complete lack of interest in my life

All my Electrical appliances have been unplugged so the remote controls no longer work. I will have to crawl under the Christmas trees now to turn them back on (don’t know how my dad managed to get under there, he is 80!).

the TV is up so loud I can’t think. They brought the contents of their fridge with them - I had to put most of it in the bin!

my mum keeps asking me are we having (fill in some obscure food item she never mentioned before) then looking disappointed when I say I didn’t know she wanted it. I went to Tesco to try and find Turkish delight with no chocolate because apparently it just isn’t Christmas without it.

i am already so irritated I could scream. They are elderly. They can’t help it. But in fairness they have always been a bit annoying, they have just lost their filter.

I am trying to find it funny. But failing. Every time I move my dad asks me what I am doing. Where I am going. Aggghhhh

Your parents clearly read the memo and universal Old Farts at Christmas Handbook.

Im fortunate enough to not have to host mine - but I suspect they’d be exactly the same

Oof yes - I hope you manage to escape it

You're being a little bit harsh here. Many people just want to sit down and relax at Xmas and not entertain others. Yes at some point what they do now will make her smile when she thinks about them but right now she just wants to choose to have the Xmas she would enjoy. That shouldn't be a big ask but it is for many. Merry Xmas 🎁🍷🎄

My sister and I had a code we used to mouth at each other when parents / aunts asked daft questions, “Barbara” (for those old enough to remember the Royle Family Christmas special - “can she eat wafer thin ham, Barbara?”)

Now added “Geoff / Elizabeth” to the list 😂

I have a family member who also insists that Turkish Delight is a Christmas staple, never heard of in my house growing up! I have two boxes ready for tomorrow.

@Bellyblueboy I think you are an absolute saint to host your irritating aged parents every year, and for so long too. I certainly couldn't do it!

And, yes, ignore all the "you'll miss them when they're gone" posts. I'm sure they are coming from a good place (maybe), but it rather misses the point.

I could never have my mum in my house for more than 2 nights absolute max. Mostly because of the kind of behaviours you describe - a complete inability to treat me like the head of the household in my own home!

I think you need to channel your internal primary school teacher and treat them like new reception class kids who need to learn the rules. As in:
"now dad, we talked about this earlier didn't we? What are you not allowed to touch? That's right, the electric sockets"
And make him repeat it back to you 😁

you have my sympathy OP! I adore my mother but she drives me round the bend when she stays. The last time she stayed I popped out for twenty minutes to come back to her having emptied my wardrobe to “help me sort stuff out” 🥲

OP, you have been given a very hard time on this thread. It's perfectly possible to love and care about people, and still to find them irritating.

I loved my Dad, and I'd love to have him back at Christmas, but if he were here I know I'd still be irritated by him standing in front of the fridge right in my way everytime I was busy in the kitchen.

Op, here’s a useful quote from Macbeth:

Come what come may, Time and the hour runs through the roughest day.

You have my sympathies …..hosting Christmas is hard work without being driven up the wall as well.

Can't you stick them in front of the TV and put Bluey on? Give them a bag of sweets, play the quiet game etc

All this will be fond memories one day. This is the first Xmas without my MIL and it seems weird not having to throw out a cheese board that has been left beautifully wrapped up in front of a radiator for the last few days and no poisonous Sherry Trifle that we have to all avoid like the plague 😆.

Sounds like The Royle Family!

Op I am laughing at the plug sockets 😂 that's crazy. Poor you!!!
But yes, channel your inner primary school teacher is a good strategy.
Also emphasising with the food thing, my mum is a combination of a feeder ( has to make cakes and jam and chutney and give to everyone, with a big performance about making mince pies! ) but then always a running commentary on oh you couldn't possible eat all that could you! Can I just share a bit of your cake/chocolate/biscuit ... its too naughty / too rich / too chocolate for me. Oh gosh cream with it oh no... ( ect ect)
I've used the same strategy as I do with toddler... well it's on your plate mum so eat it all up or you can leave it and get down from the table is you want. It seems to work

Sounds bloody awful tbh. Pour yourself a large drink! At least it is only a few days. You have my sympathies.

Sending love and strength. Having other people staying in your home is hard core tbh so even though you love them, it's perfectly reasonable to be irritated. People bleating on about them not being here forever are missing the point. If it's annoying it's annoying. I prescribe gin. Good luck OP

Depends on how annoying you are, doesn't it!? Don't be a nuisance and then people wont talk about you like that.

Tbh I would've lost my shit at this. It doesn't make it not incredibly rude just because they're your parents. I would instruct them to leave my stuff alone and remind them not a child 😩

Take my money and the old people !!

Me too - when I did nursing training back in the 80s one thing I realised was that care homes or community nursing was for me a complete no no and yet in all honesty it forms the backbone of a fair bit of nursing . I didn’t like paediatrics much either. Found it really upsetting and A&E was really manic at certain times.That’s when I realised that although I enjoyed nursing , I only enjoyed very very specific areas of it, midwifery , female surgical, quite liked mental health etc - I certainly realised I didn’t have the right temperament for anything involving constant care solely of the elderly and really admire anyone who can do this work

My husband has so much patience for the elderly. Gets chatting in the pub or queues in shops and it makes me want to scream 😱 he’s a lovely lovely man obviously but I live in horror of someone joining us in a restaurant or bar and literally telling us their life story but seemingly only the mundane parts of their life in totality

@Bellyblueboy is there a pub in walking distance? If so put your gym gear on, loudly announce you’re off for a work out then go for secret drinks for a couple of hours 🤣

Ps @Bellyblueboy my DM is dead but she was a fucking NIGHTMARE at Christmas and if she wasn’t dead, she would still be a fucking nightmare at Christmas! Being dead does not canonise someone 🙄

Well said @harriethoyle 👏

Same! I’ve recently retrained and now have a new job in an interesting sector. Not been asked about it once. Merry Christmas and good luck!!!!

Absolutely. I have parents on both sides of the coin. My DM is my best friend in the world, I cannot imagine my life without her. I cry at the thought of her not being around.

My dad left when I was 7, took everything and never supported us. I wouldn't know if he was dead or not.

PIL are all more interested in the neighbour/some distant friend/somebody they can name drop for their egos than us or their GC. They can all go swivel. Won't be seeing any of those particular assholes over Christmas that's for sure, wasted too much time on them already.