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Original poster

Overwhelmed 4 year old on christmas day

55 replies

Newmummy343 · 23/12/2025 11:44

Hi

Not sure if I'm posting this on the right section but I just wondered if anyone else is feeling the same. I have a not long turned 4 year old boy.

On Christmas day we have some family coming over for a couple of hours at 11am. Then we are away to my sisters at about 2pm where there will be 12 of us. My son is the only child that will be there. I just keep feeling worried that he'll act up and be overwhelmed and want to go home as such a busy day.

I know he's just a child but I'm worried the other adults will just think he's being ungrateful, has anyone got any tips for them decompressing. I was going to see about bringing his tablet and even if he could chill for 30 mins and have some quiet time.

Not really sure what im asking, i'm probably just over thinking things. Thanks

OP posts:
TeenToTwenties · 23/12/2025 11:51

I'd be worried too!

Quiet room and a new toy.
Go out to nearest playground.

Leave to go home sooner rather than later. Have rug/blanket in car.

Gettingbysomehow · 23/12/2025 11:53

Im not sure why people put their children through this, is it really necessary to drive around seeing the entire family on christmas day when you could just stay at home?

FrenchandSaunders · 23/12/2025 11:53

You need to get him out to a park, long walk and run around. He can't be cooped up all day indoors with adults.

BobblyBobbleHat · 23/12/2025 11:57

He should be fine, dd loved it, if he needs a bit of a break wrap up warm and go for a walk or play in the park.

BobblyBobbleHat · 23/12/2025 11:57

Gettingbysomehow · 23/12/2025 11:53

Im not sure why people put their children through this, is it really necessary to drive around seeing the entire family on christmas day when you could just stay at home?

Lots of children love being able to visit and spend time with family.

Grumblies · 23/12/2025 12:01

I going to be honest he's probably going to be pretty blooming bored and frustrated that he has to leave all the toys he's just got at home so he can go and spend time with 12 adults.

It's a little late this year but next year I would be trying to stay at home.

Original poster
Newmummy343 · 23/12/2025 12:01

The family coming in the morning is non negotiable we have to have them round. However, I have warned my family for the afternoon that we wont be staying late or that though.

Thank you for the suggestions though as I never even thought about going to the park, that is a good shout!

I think I will see how this year goes but if he struggles then going forward next year it'll just be at home.

OP posts:
RescueMeFromThisSilliness · 23/12/2025 12:01

All those adults means that there will be at least a couple of them who are willing to take him for a walk to the park/ play a game with him while you put your feet up with a cup of tea.

Original poster
Newmummy343 · 23/12/2025 12:03

Oh i'll be bringing toys with us, no way would I have him open toys and leave them all at home. I also asked my sister's if they could give him his presents when he gets there so he has stuff there too and bringing games. I'm not expecting him to sit with everyone and do nothing. I'm more worried hes going to just find it all a bit too much.

OP posts:
anniegun · 23/12/2025 12:15

I dont think any family with very young children expects anything other than a metdown or two on Christmas day! We have all been there. An opportunity to either quietly chill or run off steam outside (depending on your child) is a good plan. Often a friendly cousin or uncle willing to be a one to one play partner in another room for a while is all that is needd

RaininSummer · 23/12/2025 12:49

My children adored being in the big family environment and I don't recall needing to plan quiet time etc.

rainbow231 · 23/12/2025 12:56

I think it’s completely child dependent. I’d want to get mine outdoors in this scenario, so agree park or garden if possible.

wandererofthekingdom · 23/12/2025 12:56

I've always said we don't leave the house on Christmas day, if people want to see us they are welcome but I am not letting my children open they're presents and then traipse around relatives.
If he has any meltdowns as adults you'd hope they are very understanding.

cantbearsed27 · 23/12/2025 13:04

When people say their kids adored family time do they really mean all adults? I guess it depends how much the adults interact. I loved seeing family at Christmas - but it was the kids I wanted to see, not the adults! Also - not on Christmas day, that was just spent at home playing with our new toys.

I guess just see how it goes this year and if DS starts getting tired and moany call it a day.

FrenchandSaunders · 23/12/2025 13:09

Def take tablet for some downtime. Hopefully the adults will engage/play with him and not expect him to be perfect and quiet.

Mumofoneandone · 23/12/2025 13:16

I have a lively 8 year old boy who can struggle at times with these family times.
Some good suggestions here.... I'd also talk to him about the day, so he knows what's happening. Also ask him if there are some comforting things he'd like to take, like a blanket or toy.
Might be tricky, but try and avoid sugary food as much as possible, and keep him topped up with savoury 'healthy' food. This is cause upf and sugar can play havoc with children's behaviour.......

SkankingWombat · 23/12/2025 13:20

I think it's more likely he'll be bored than overwhelmed too, but it's better to be prepared if you're worried. Definitely bring the tablet plus headphones - not just so he isn't antisocial with the volume up, but also others are more likely to leave him alone if he's wearing them. Is there somewhere quiet he could go for a 'nap'? You could always say he's in need as didn't sleep well/up super early with excitement and just needs a quick recharge. He doesn't need to sleep, but again it will provide some time alone to decompress with a quiet toy or the tablet.

MsSquiz · 23/12/2025 13:21

Christmas Day growing up was always a lot for me. But my DM always made sure that Boxing Day, and sometimes the day after, we would have no plans. I could open presents properly and play with them, watch a movie or go for a walk but it was on our schedule and what we wanted.

as long as he thanks people for gifts, at 4 years old, I would be surprised if anyone says he is ungrateful.

thecomedyofterrors · 23/12/2025 13:21

My kids are used to this and love it. If your child gets easily overwhelmed I’d opt for a new toy or jigsaw or game etc rather than tablet.

awrbc81 · 23/12/2025 13:22

When my DDs were that age an afternoon walk to the park did the trick, with any adults around welcome to accompany us.
Also a bit of a “break” with something kid friendly on tv, like one of the Julia Donaldson cartoons.

RendeersDancingTowardsChristmas · 23/12/2025 13:26

Just wait and see, hopefully some adults will be engaging with your son .
But from my own experience with DC at that age I would stay at home. Mine literally looked at all the new toys and couldn't decide which one to take along to relatives house for Christmas Dinner. 😢
That was it for me while they were little and believing in Santa.

Tryingatleast · 23/12/2025 13:38

Don’t forget if they’re anyway decent human beings they’ll chat to him and play with him too! I know on mn people talk judging about kids but he is just a kid and deserves to enjoy it and have fun as do you!!!

buckleberryferry · 23/12/2025 13:42

Fresh air and hopefully a toy he can take outside. Or get a relative to make paper aeroplanes with him. A tablet isn’t going to make him less stimulated, just quieter for the grown ups and grumpy when he comes off it. And he’s only 4.

Fwiw he may just surprise you. Just let him have time out from the relatives when he needs to, he’s probably going to be the centre of attention.

BobblyBobbleHat · 23/12/2025 13:50

buckleberryferry · 23/12/2025 13:42

Fresh air and hopefully a toy he can take outside. Or get a relative to make paper aeroplanes with him. A tablet isn’t going to make him less stimulated, just quieter for the grown ups and grumpy when he comes off it. And he’s only 4.

Fwiw he may just surprise you. Just let him have time out from the relatives when he needs to, he’s probably going to be the centre of attention.

I agree, tablets are not brilliant for downtime for children, you just can't hear them so think of it as quiet time - actually this is a big reason why many children struggle to focus on anything other than a screen for any length of time nowadays.

JLou08 · 23/12/2025 13:55

Is there a reason you're worried? My eldest would love a day surrounded by family and he very rarely got overwhelmed. Youngest is autistic and seeing family does get a lot for him. I take him for a walk alone every couple of hours as this calms him down. You will know best what works for your DC, it may be some singing, having a run around, colouring. Just do what works, with 12 people there I'm sure you dipping out a few times to manage DC won't be noticed.