I was hosting Christmas this year.

[Mar256]

I’m hosting Christmas this year and my little girl has been poorly with norovirus. She is literally getting over it and is back eating etc. My sister, her partner, 2 kids and my parents were coming. My sister messaged me this morning saying I’m not coming I don’t want my kids catching it etc. Now, I’ve been cleaning the house constant wiping everything down etc. I’m annoyed because I’ve been out and bought stuff for Christmas Day. Kids get poorly you can’t prevent that. But my daughter is literally getting over it and we’re on Sunday!! I just don’t have the energy to even host Christmas Day now for my parents. I’m annoyed and upset and she knows I am. Putting so much time and effort into Christmas Day and she wasn’t even coming originally it was just my parents and she asked about 6 months ago and I said yeah so all the kids could play together. Won’t be doing that again in a hurry.

would you cancel 4 days before Christmas even if someone’s child has gotten over a sickness bug?

If it is norovirus then other members of your household are very likely to get it - that could be worrying your sister.

It sounds over cautious to me. Does she have a reason to be particularly nervous about bugs? Does someone in her family have health issues?

She's BU & also a bit mad. I'd be there like a shot if someone else is hosting!

No i wouldn't cancel. Especially when there's still nearly 5 days to go. But then i'm not scared of illness as so many people seem to be. I know noro us extremely unpleasant but there's plenty of time between now and then.

Noro or a sickness bug? If it’s Noro then she is not being unreasonable but if it’s just a sickness bug and others are fine then she is. But lots of people wrongly say Noro for just a normal sickness bug which gives me the fear as an emetophobe. So I’m kind of team sister, sorry. But if just a bug and dd is fine now and no one else unwell I’d probably be able to come… on Wednesday as I’d wait to be 100% sure I would be able to avoid it.

After norovirus you’re contigious for up to 2 weeks.

She has said she doesn’t want her kids getting it? Me and my partner haven’t been poorly with it

God knows! Even if someone has the sniffles she cancels.

Nobody knows what anyone can catch between now and Christmas, you could go shopping, stand next to someone who has a virus but doesn’t know because their symptoms are not showing yet. I do think saying 4 days before Christmas Day is a bit premature, but you’ve done the right thing in letting them know because I hate turning up to visits when clearly people are ill.

She’s not being unreasonable at all. Norovirus is awful. What’s to say you don’t get it in a couple of days? I wouldn’t risk my children catching norovirus Christmas Day or not

Where have you got that from? It’s 24 hours for most sickness bugs and 48 for noro (according toto infection prevention and control in my hospital)

I just wouldn’t want to eat Christmas dinner in a post noro house. I’m with your sister on this. It also depends what else catching it would spoil. Like if I was due to go away on holiday straight after that would increase my level of anxiety. Also what are you using to clean. Norovirus doesn’t just get wiped away with ordinary household cleaner you know!

probably wasn’t Noro then…

CDC. The NHS says it’s most infectious for 48 hours but not that you stop being infectious then.

@TeenLifeMuma quick check with AI

Norovirus is exceptionally resilient and can remain active on surfaces for two weeks or longer under typical conditions. In some environments, it can persist for even greater periods

Sister is being unreasonable, but you’d be unreasonable to cancel hosting your parents, if that’s what your comment meant (‘I just don’t have the energy to even host Christmas Day now for my parents’).

All sick bugs aren’t Norovirus. Norovirus is much worse than an average bug and tends to rip through households.

You say twice she is 'literally getting over it', whatever significance you think this has. So she's still ill and contagious. So you could catch it next and visitors could catch it a couple of days later. You're sister's not wrong. Yes, anyone could catch something by chance from someone else in the meantime, but this is already 'literally' in your house.

Very weird to say this exchange now means you don't have enough energy to host for parents. Not sure how you've been physically affected by her pissing you off, none of this is their fault and I can't see why your sister not being there should change much - especially if she wasn't originally coming.

If she’s got norovirus then yeah I’d be the same as your sister - you are highly contagious up to three days after you’ve stopped being sick and even then you can shed the virus as others said for up to two weeks after, so I’d be anticipating others in the household coming down with it.

If it’s just a sickness bug then I wouldn’t have cancelled as early as this tbh but maybe she thought she was giving you time?

Sounds like your parents are still coming ?
Are you saying you don't want them now even if you are all well ?
Tbh that's cutting your nose off to spite your face .
So what if your sister isn't coming , her loss .
If you've catered for more people that you've got coming . Still cook it and freeze it . Easy dinners so when you can't be bothered to cook.

Norovirus is very contagious and typically affect people at different times, so your daughter is sick now and one of you could get sick tonight or tomorrow depending on incubation time. Last time we had it it took 10 days to go around the family, and one of us was not randomly not affected at all.

I'm sorry for you OP, but I wouldn't come either.

Erm yes, but surely you clean?

I just don’t have the energy to even host Christmas Day now for my parents.

Why? Surely it'll be easier catering for fewer people?

How do you know it was norovirus?

So many people I know call any D&V episode, norovirus. Same people that call a cold, flu.

I don't know anyone who's actually had a noro diagnosis from a doctor.

Apologies if you have had a diagnosis, but it's this sort of reaction from others that you people get if they dramatise a mild condition.

Be logical with her. Send her the NHS guidelines. Tell her that you will let her know when it’s been 48 hours after the last episode of D/V and if it’s before Christmas morning then she’s being unreasonable not to come and you’ll be expecting her.