Does anyone else not hate the big present pile?

[Christmasiscoming2025]

My 4 year olds favourite part of getting presents is opening them so I get him loads of things but it’s not all big gifts/toys. I have got him clothes with his favourite characters on, books, games and puzzles from charity shops, sweets ect.

A lot of people don’t seem to like the big piles of presents on here and say they only get a few presents for their kids and I just don’t really get it as the magic/wow moment is the big pile for kids 🤷‍♀️

I suppose the "big pile" is subjective. I've seen tiktoks of piles that are 100s of presents. Sometimes the family cannot get into the room. And I do wonder where they put all the crap stuff. Then some people wrap and gift stuff that I wouldn't class as presents. Everyday underwear, normal toletries, basic snacks like pringles we would buy all year round.

Our toddlers pile is on the larger side and we spend quite a lot. But he only has one set of grandparents and 1 uncle that he receives other gifts from. We try to only pick out good quality toys that will last and grow with him. Even for his stocking he has schleich animals, matchbox cars and some yoto cards.

I think people should just do what they want and what's right for their family. I now have 2 adult dc and ds 15 so when they were younger there was what could be classed as a big gift pile and then what family gave which made it even bigger. They used to open the santa gifts in the morning and family gifts after xmas dinner.

I've only my teen at home now the adult dc have moved out so the days of the large piles of gifts are no more but it could still be classed as excessive or not excessive depending on peoples personal opinion. We have lost family members over the years so we do spend time laughing over memories of xmas pasts with the family in jokes etc.

Now my dc are older I dont miss the carnage of setting up toys from the boxes and the endless finding bits and pieces and buying batteries for toys to be on the go and the xmas eve nights of excited kids not going to sleep until the early hours and sneaking santa gifts downstairs at 2 am. But xmas is how you want to do it and if that's 1 gift or 10 or a mountain it's all personal choice.

Where does all the stuff go after Christmas? Some of the people on here must have absolutely massive houses!

When my lot were younger I got them big piles of gifts, however now most of my dc are teens and adults, and their present piles are significantly smaller it makes me feel like crap, even though they understand the concept of Christmas and are always very grateful, and it's their preference to have less stuff. Me feeling rubbish is literally all about me.

It's always just been me and them, no family or anything so Christmas is 100% on me. Its a mindset I need to get out if that more things = better.

It probably stems back to my brothers getting piles of gifts at Christmas, and I got a couple of second hand things and some of my brothers cast offs (My mother never wanted a daughter) so I guess I'm imposing my insecurities onto them.

Will they like it? Will they use it? Or will it still e untouched in 11 months?

You can be little and be wasteful, or loads and it all be appreciated.

You don’t get that different people like different things?

I prefer to get my kids things that really bring them joy and enhance their lives. My oldest is diagnosised autistic and I suspect I am too so lots of stuff can be overwhelming for us. Having loads of extra stuff to tidy does not bring any of us in the house joy.

Having said that, we can afford and do buy things throughout the year. Mostly craft supplies and books rather than toys. Christmas T shirts and a new party dress before Christmas day so it can be worn in the run up to Christmas.

People should get what works best for their children.

Absolutely. Posting presents on social media is grim.

I think there’s a bit of a divide between the Massive Pile people and the Tasteful Trio of Gifts crew.

The trouble is that Big Pile people think small and quality is disappointing and Small Pile think big hauls of crap is wasteful. I have the problem in my family - my cousin sends us what must be the whole contents of The Works every year. I send her a few “naice” presents but I get the feeling that she feels short-changed. And I am uncomfortable with being ungrateful and not really wanting multiple craft kits, jigsaws, paperbacks etc etc. I did tentatively suggest cutting down but it was not well received!

We’ve always bought a lot, but often our dc only got presents at Christmas and birthdays.

Anything “needed” that was also a want was in there: from books, bath stuff (shaped soaps, bath crayons, colour change bubble bath) and bikes when little to uni laptops, books, clothes, shoes, hair stuff and toiletries when older.

Then there’s favourite sweets, a board game each, selection box, chocolate coins each: unneeded but a tradition!

There’d also be a main present in the years that nothing big like a bike or laptop or phone was needed- anything from cuddly toys to switch to roller boots to jewellery to Lego.

That was/ is basically it for the year apart from a couple of birthdaypresents and a top up of summer clothes if last year’s were outgrown.

Tech is usually second hand/ refurbished. Books can be second hand and clothes/ shoes/ Lego are often new off eBay/ vinted. Other bits are bought on offer or with vouchers.

This year DS 13 has 15 presents plus chocolate, totalling £232 including a gaming PC built from spare parts in a new case for £50. It seems lots, but averages £20 a month spent. I imagine lots of the 4 present parents spend more than that on “stuff” every month.

I think it depends on what kind of gifts we are talking about. You can make a big pile of stuff like vinted clothes, books and toys and nobody could accuse you for contributing to the landfill.
When they get older you will notice that they want mostly expensive items so there will be less.

I've never and would never go into debt over Christmas i would imagine my kids piles of presents cost significantly less then some people who buy there kids 2/3 presents

I feel this way too. There are plenty of other ways to make Christmas magical, aside from “stuff”. I hate the commercial side of it, and the waste too. Not to be a grinch, I love Christmas, I just don’t love a big pile of presents for the sake of it.

Regarding people sharing piles of Christmas presents on social media- could be sometimes just excitement rather than showing off ?

I think there’s definitely a cut-off between a visually pleasing amount of presents and the tedium of opening them when they become too many.

Well its usually stuff they need that others buy throughout the year. So clothes go in wardrobe, toothbrush and bath/shower stuff goes in bathroom, shoes/trainers go in shoe rack, arts and crafts go in there craft boxes. Crisps, sweets and chocolate take up hardly any room, bedding goes on the bed, books on bookshelf, make up skincare goes in vanity unit. People buying piles of presents aren't buying piles of toys

I remember sitting under the tree and counting up all my presents. I had 36 (this does not include the stocking or Santa presents). I don't know why I remember this but I do.

My DH on the other hand had a smaller quantity of presents - more like 10 - 15.

In our house we all dived into presents. In his house they spent hours going round one by one. We genuinely hate the others ways of doing Christmas. He finds our Christmas to be unappreciative, and distasteful. I find his Christmas to be performative, and inauthentic.

I think a multimillionaire who buys their kids everything can still raise non-spoiled children. I think you can be very poor and raise entitled brats.

Basically the money and number of gifts at Christmas don't dictate if the child grows up spoilt and entitled. It's how a child is raised overall the other 364 days of the year.

Interesting! What made this appealing to you as a 13 year old?

I liked Xmas, and presents, but also found it overwhelming.

Mine have a main, expensive gift this year so won't be getting much else but I feel a bit shit about the lack of pile, although I know I shouldn't.

I think this is what confuses me a bit though… surely you don’t only buy one toothbrush a year? And things like arts and crafts… I replace them throughout the year when they run out, but we only ever have say, one set of paints in the house at one time. If you only buy them at Christmas, does that mean that you buy 3 sets of paints and store them, or is it that if they have used all of the paints by March then they can’t have any new ones until the next Christmas? Same with felt tips etc? And if their shoes are too small by June, do they have to wait until Christmas for new ones?

We do the big pile - but mostly because we have 5 children, so once they get a few each it looks like mountains! 🤣 But Christmas is magical, we we make it as magical as it can be!!

No i don't buy a toothbrush once a year but Christmas ready for new year is always a good time to get a new one so it gets wrapped. Arts and crafts stuff will often last the year or until birthdays but if they run out of something specific throughout the year I will of course buy it but I buy a lot of it at Christmas to wrap up so usually lasts well. I will buy them shoes in the year if needed but again its nice to have things like fresh clean trainers for the new year. They will always get stuff they need throughout the year I'm just not the type of mum who buys them random things everytime we go into a shop

Ah ok, I was mainly thinking about the posters who said they don’t buy anything throughout the year and just buy it all at Christmas when I was asking where it all got stored.

You need to read No Holly for Miss Quinn by Miss Read.

I think when people say they don't buy anything they don't mean it literally obviously they buy the necessities just not buying stuff for the sake of it or just because the child wants it throughout the year.

I love a big pile of presents. Everything they get is either very wanted or needed, and it all gets used throughout the year so there isn't any waste. We don't have any family nearby, it's just the 5 of us 365 days a year, and we appreciate and enjoy eachother everyday. Apart from birthdays they don't get much else the rest of the year, so I make sure they they get enough at Christmas to last.

Did Harry Potter teach you nothing? A big pile of presents is a wow for a materialistic kid where the size of the pile matters, but for less materialistic kids a couple of things that they want and will use is better.

We love it. Evidence from past Xmases attached. We do host the whole extended family so, those gifts are for and between 10-13 people, though! Takes the kids (now 17/20) hours to distribute them …