MIL has stolen my childhood christmas decorations!

[ExhaustedPigeon37]

Hello all,

Bit of a strange one but I think my MIL has stolen my Christmas Decorations!!

They have been in my family since I was small and although they aren’t expensive, nothing special they are just sentimental to me.

We had these three decorations, saying Joy, Noel and Ho Ho Ho with a Santa head on the top. The letters cascade downwards and the Santa has a loop so that you can hang them up. This year I put our decorations up and only found the Joy one. Asked DH and he said he hadn’t seen them, so I only put the Joy one up thinking I’d come across them in another box, I never did.

Fast forward to yesterday when we went over to theirs and they live about an hour away so we stayed for dinner and catch up after DH finished work. MIL was showing us her new decorations and the tree (which is themed red and white). I happened to glance at the bottom of the tree where I saw THE/MY Noel and Ho Ho Ho decorations hanging off of her tree!!! I’ve never seen these decorations at their house before, so the only conclusion I can come to is that they are mine, which is why I couldn’t find them this year!

Asked DH and he said he didn’t notice, asked if he remembers us giving them to her or anything and he said can’t at all. Last year we moved house in

I’m so shocked. What do I do? Do I ask for them back? Do I just leave it? Do I sneak them out when we next go there? DH wanted to stay at home on Boxing Day but I now want to go there to retrieve my decorations (they have been invited on Christmas Day but declined due to the journey and FIL recently having had a knee replacement).

Oh I’ve had the impression she has never liked me! Wasn’t exactly happy when we got engaged and not exactly over the moon now we are pregnant too.

Although I’ve never done anything wrong! DH had an affair during his first marriage (who he had 2 DC with), he then ended up being with the affair woman for ages and had his youngest with her. He then ended it and started seeing me about 6-8 months after leaving her, I’ve always had the impression that they wished his first wife took him back as they loved her to bits. I came along with my own daughter, so now DH has 4 kids effectively and they think its too many (now we also have one on the way too!). I’m 12 years younger than him, so another thing they aren’t keen on and was mentioned yesterday as I’m not even 40 yet and he will be 50 next year! 🤷‍♀️

Don't ask. Just quietly take them back.

I would literally just ask.
It is quite possible that at some point over last christmas stuff got packed, put in bags, and somehow ended up at MIL and she has no idea how they came to be at her house.
I would say 'I don't mean to it to be a weird question but you know the ho ho ho and noel decorations on your tree, are these definitely yours as I we had the same ones which I had since I was small, and I can't find ours and wondered if ours had somehow ended up at your house during the christmas madness last year'
I reckon she will say, oh yes these ended up in a bag last year and I have no idea how. Or the kids put them in her bag or gave them to her.
Or she will give another explanation and you can make of that what you will.
I think stealing stuff off her tree without speaking to her would be very weird. And unless she has form for stealing or being weird then it is highly unlikely that she actually purposefully stole them.
Even if she doesnt like you, stealing two christmas decorations last year and then putting them on her tree this year would be very bizarre behaviour. Unless she is always doing crazy things then I would suggest it is some sort of innocent explanation.

Having done some reverse Google image searching (what am I doing with my life 😂), these really do seem to be vintage. They just seem to pop up on Etsy occasionally are often from mainland Europe or USA. And as others have said, the chances of her happening to have the two missing pieces of the jigsaw are almost nil. So she hasn’t just popped into Home Bargains …

If she was of previous good character, I might be a bit concerned. One things for sure, you need to reclaim the decs!

Ah, given that new information I change my response - Nick them back just so she doesn't get away with it!

Just take them back.

My parents did this when I was a child. They let some friends use their solid silver heirloom cutlery for a big dinner party, then only got half the set back. The friends denied it. At subsequent dinner parties my parents would literally pick up their own cutlery at the end of the meal and put it in their pockets until they had most of it back.

I agree. She could also have always admired yours and seen the identical set in a charity shop or at a Christmas Fair and bought them. Decorations do go missing from one Christmas to the next - l have lost some favourite tree decorations over the years despite thinking l had packed them away with everything else the previous January. I really would not jump to conclusions as it could cause all sorts of problems in the family.

I am in the stealing them back and please update us. Good luck

How do you know it wasn’t your FIL, why was it your MIL?

Another one for take them back - they clearly are yours. Sometimes otherwise good people do odd stuff like this. I had close friend years ago lend me a jacket when we went out for the night. I used to wear a lot of silver rings which I'd alternate, one was really sentimental. At some point I must have taken them off and put them in the jacket's pockets.
I was in her room a few weeks later and saw my rings in a pot on her dressing table. I didn't make a fuss, just said, oh thanks these are mine you must have found them. She was quite breezy about it. But I was quietly a bit miffed that she had put them to one side and never mentioned them to me--she knew they weren't hers!

For it’s the fact she’s got the two missing ones, I’d have to ask to have them? Say your two have gone missing and you’ve no idea where they are. You’d love to complete your set again so could you have these?

just wow!!

I would take back, sneak back probably if it was easy to do that. Or just say they look just like what we had, the ones I had since I was young but they were missing this year - where do you get them from? I’d like to get some more.

I really wouldn't get into dialogue about it with them OP, it will just result in denial and awkwardness and fallings out if they were taken deliberately.
You know they are yours, they are old and rare and your husband doesn't remember seeing them at his parents house before. That'd be enough for me.

post her the joy one with a note saying they really should stay a set of 3

Take them back and keep them out of her reach. TBH I doubt this is the first time she has pinched fro you.

Honesty isn't your dh's strong point. Maybe he did give them to her.

Take them back and don't mention it to anyone.

The fact that the stolen decorations are at the bottom of the tree is interesting! Not in pride of place at eye level..that might suggest she has a bit of guilt about it - or she doesn’t actually like them. Could it have been FIL that produced them and she said yes dear and put them at the bottom of the tree to appease him?

Whatever you do (ahem I am team steal-them-back) I’d be getting curious about what else is going on in the background. This IS odd behaviour.

I wonder whether these decs might be sentimental to her too? Eg - If they’re from your childhood they might also remind her of her young adult hood etc?

Steal them back

Does she usually have such a brass neck to display things she has stolen to people she has stolen from?

When would she have had the opportunity to steal them from you?

I was thinking this seems most likely. Or he’s just forgotten he said she could have them. I’d say ‘mil dh seems to have given you these without realising they have sentimental value to me. I’d like them back please.’

Scratch my previous questions. Why are you with this man?

Fathering multiple children to multiple women through infidelity? Does he have a golden penis or something? He sounds truly a prince among men.

It's weird to care more for some christmas decorations than the mental health of your MIL. You sound a bit vindictive. If you really are worried she might be forgetful and have memory problems why on earth would you risk distressing her by stealing them and her not understanding what's going on? That's a horrible thing to do. You have no real evidence for any of this speculation. It's a totally trivial event with many innocent explanations, from decorations getting packed up wrong and put in the wrong bag, to people gifting people things they shouldn't have and then forgetting, to items getting muddled with other similar items. All far more likely than a person who you admit is a bit forgetful and your husband is worried about having some sort of passive aggressive vendetta against you by holding your decorations to ransome.

If the decorations are of great sentimental value then you would recognise them. We have old decorations and I'd know them from some new replaced versions. You would know the particular look and signs of age on them.

If you really are convinced they are yours, then buy some identical ones as people say you can and say you think the decorations might have got mixed up by mistake and would she mind taking these lovely new ones instead? But don't go making her feel like she's losing her memory by nicking decorations off her tree.

Yes do this, your mil is a cheeky mare

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/4343757529/vintage-christmas-ornament-or-small-wall

Obviously they are your decorations. The chances of her suddenly buying the two vintage decorations the same year that yours go missing are basically zero.

If you ask her she is obviously going to deny it. Personally I would buy the one that is available on Etsy then do a sneaky swap when you're at their house. Put the new one on her tree and take the one that's hanging there. Then mark your two and take a photo of them in your house showing the marks so there's proof they're yours.

She will never know you've switched them so I'd enjoy that knowledge myself that I had one of mine back. I'd leave the HoHoHo one on her tree as it would amuse me greatly and I'd be laughing too at her thinking she'd got one over on me.