MIL has stolen my childhood christmas decorations!

[ExhaustedPigeon37]

Hello all,

Bit of a strange one but I think my MIL has stolen my Christmas Decorations!!

They have been in my family since I was small and although they aren’t expensive, nothing special they are just sentimental to me.

We had these three decorations, saying Joy, Noel and Ho Ho Ho with a Santa head on the top. The letters cascade downwards and the Santa has a loop so that you can hang them up. This year I put our decorations up and only found the Joy one. Asked DH and he said he hadn’t seen them, so I only put the Joy one up thinking I’d come across them in another box, I never did.

Fast forward to yesterday when we went over to theirs and they live about an hour away so we stayed for dinner and catch up after DH finished work. MIL was showing us her new decorations and the tree (which is themed red and white). I happened to glance at the bottom of the tree where I saw THE/MY Noel and Ho Ho Ho decorations hanging off of her tree!!! I’ve never seen these decorations at their house before, so the only conclusion I can come to is that they are mine, which is why I couldn’t find them this year!

Asked DH and he said he didn’t notice, asked if he remembers us giving them to her or anything and he said can’t at all. Last year we moved house in

I’m so shocked. What do I do? Do I ask for them back? Do I just leave it? Do I sneak them out when we next go there? DH wanted to stay at home on Boxing Day but I now want to go there to retrieve my decorations (they have been invited on Christmas Day but declined due to the journey and FIL recently having had a knee replacement).

Tried and convicted and given no opportunity to defend herself. It's dangerous being a MIL! Does everyone always think the worst of people these days?

I would ask your children if they remember anything happening last year - like her mentioning them or looking around the tree. Then I would probably just steal them back. Maybe your FIL knows something about them? Although my dad wouldn't have a clue.

Unfortunately close close relatives can steal for those who find this hard to believe. I thought I was going mad for quite a while not believing my own suspicions. (This went on for several years). I eventually confronted my close family member who denied all knowledge even though I had managed to get proof it was them by then. They tried to make out to anyone that would listen that I was making false accusations, trying to turn people against me. Not surprisingly, I am now no contact. I still, now as a result find it stressful if I loose something even though it is lost rather than stolen. That close relative was my own M.........

Usually though if you like something of someone else's & then buy the same you'd say wouldn't you?

If she was showing off the tree & new decorations she'd have said "I bought these like the ones that you have".

No. She still has the Joy one, as per the photograph. MiL allegedly stole the other two.

But if they were packed away how could she have got hold of them?

Don't steal them. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Buy something new for your tree and celebrate your new home.

Oh god! If your MIL is anything like my DM she will have completely forgotten how she got them and will go full denial that they were anything to do with you. I suspect she has no idea because it would be very odd/ unpleasant to put them out so prominently. Do you have any photographic evidence of them on your tree/ u in your house in the past? Failing all, steal them back.

Well if there were three decorations, OP can only find one and the other two have turned up at MiL’s house, I would think most juries would convict.

Not identical, but similar concept..

I had a cookbook that I used almost weekly. MIL came round (we only see her a handful of times a year) and asked to borrow it. I was put on the spot and reluctantly agreed, although I told her I use it a lot and would need it back the next time saw her. So we we saw her again, she had 'no recollection' of the book, but said she'd have a look... apparently she did so, but couldn't find it. I asked a few more times over the next year - and looked for it myself at her house - nothing. TWO YEARS later I saw it on her bookshelf! As soon as she left the room I nabbed it and took it home with me. Neither of us have ever mentioned it again.

In summary - if you're 100% sure the ornaments are yours, take them back and say nothing.

Have you got any photos taken last Christmas, where the decorations should have been, after they left?

Silently steal them back.

I’m in the camp for nicking them back and saying nothing to DH other than they turned up elsewhere in your boxes. And don’t leave klopto MIL alone in your house……..ever!

I think they went last year when I wasn’t at home!

It's a thing, people steal!
Take them back and don't say a word!
Probably best to leave husband out of it at this stage also.
You will have to be careful about having her in your home in future!

Going to have a look through my photos shortly

Yes, ask the teenagers what they saw last year!

It’s very weird that she would steal them and then show off her tree in front of you. I would’ve asked her about them - saying something like oh that’s weird because I’ve had decorations like that since I was a kid but I couldn’t find two of mine this year. Then ask where she got them.
I’ve definitely heard of people having sticky fingers along with dementia. But if she stole them last year then I would’ve thought she’d be at the stage of the dementia being obvious 12 months later

I really would have mentioned it when I saw them. And even if MiL denied things I would have said would you mind giving them to me as mine are missing and I'm sad about it. No way would I have left without them.

I'm in the steal them back and say nothing camp. Try and visit asap rather than wait until Boxing Day. Good luck with your mission Op and keep us posted. Over and out.

This is a good suggestion. No accusations and she’ll have to answer with something.

I suggest she really doesn't like you and wanted to feel smug she has your sentimental things.
Do you think she really does like you? Time to consider it.

I would just ask her when you're next there how she came to have your decorations on her tree. Don't let her tell you she's always had them, be insistent they are yours! Give her a vaguely plausible excuse for having them if you want to let her provide some reason but don't go without them.

Do you have a good relationship with your in laws? If so then actually I think quietly taking them back without mentioning it to anyone would be the best and kindest course of action. If it is early signs of dementia then it will be quite upsetting for everyone. Calling it out in public will just lead to unpleasantness in the run up to Xmas.

If it was deliberate then she wouldn't say anything right? "Oi, you nicked back the decorations I nicked from you in the first place!"

Ask the kids what they know. Ask FIL where she got them from. Then tackle her. FIL might be relieved to not have to cover for her problems.