MIL has stolen my childhood christmas decorations!

[ExhaustedPigeon37]

Hello all,

Bit of a strange one but I think my MIL has stolen my Christmas Decorations!!

They have been in my family since I was small and although they aren’t expensive, nothing special they are just sentimental to me.

We had these three decorations, saying Joy, Noel and Ho Ho Ho with a Santa head on the top. The letters cascade downwards and the Santa has a loop so that you can hang them up. This year I put our decorations up and only found the Joy one. Asked DH and he said he hadn’t seen them, so I only put the Joy one up thinking I’d come across them in another box, I never did.

Fast forward to yesterday when we went over to theirs and they live about an hour away so we stayed for dinner and catch up after DH finished work. MIL was showing us her new decorations and the tree (which is themed red and white). I happened to glance at the bottom of the tree where I saw THE/MY Noel and Ho Ho Ho decorations hanging off of her tree!!! I’ve never seen these decorations at their house before, so the only conclusion I can come to is that they are mine, which is why I couldn’t find them this year!

Asked DH and he said he didn’t notice, asked if he remembers us giving them to her or anything and he said can’t at all. Last year we moved house in

I’m so shocked. What do I do? Do I ask for them back? Do I just leave it? Do I sneak them out when we next go there? DH wanted to stay at home on Boxing Day but I now want to go there to retrieve my decorations (they have been invited on Christmas Day but declined due to the journey and FIL recently having had a knee replacement).

I haven’t at all. It’s just impossible to have a conversation with MIL. For example, I’ve sent her this message inviting them for Christmas dinner …

“Hiya, not sure if DH has spoken to you about Christmas or not yet. We are staying at home, I’m going to do a beef wellington, my parents and Nan are coming round and you guys are more than welcome to as well, let me know. No pressure just an offer, I completely understand if you want to stay at home due to FIL recent knee replacement. I’m assuming DH will have DSC on Boxing Day but I’m waiting for him to confirm this with XW.

Please let me know what you, FIL and SIL would like for Christmas xx”

She completely ignored this message and only spoke to DH about it. She refuses to talk to me unless she absolutely has to and that’s only F2F

It sounds entirely plausible that she would then steal your Christmas decorations and hang them in plain sight in some passive aggressive challenge. What a strange and unpleasant woman.

I would love to see the text you sent to your parents. I bet it didn't say "Dh's parents are coming and you are more than welcome to as well."

I don’t have to justify myself to you. I sent that message, I have it on WhatsApp. I’m not going to spend time redacting private and personal information.

Good grief @AbbaCadaBra you're so desperate to put op in the wrong.
No one speaks to inlaws the same way they speak to their own parents.
Get back in your box.

If you put your text messages on here then you open yourself to the opinions of others. My opinion doesn't change just because you want it to.

Op is inviting a whole thread to pour negativity over her MIL, to call her awful and whatever else. You think that's OK, but the minute someone challenges it you are outraged. Cry me a river.

And now you are insinuating that I like MIL am awful, someone you have never met in your life. But you know what? I don't care.

If I received that message from anyone, I would read between the lines that they absolutely did not want me to accept, that they are pretending to invite me, whilst making clear I wasn’t actually wanted and I should decline the offer politely.

I can see why MIL hasn’t replied. I also would take my time to think over my response before replying.

Yes I agree with this I think.

If my son in law sent me this I would contact my daughter and ask what was going on and are we actually invited.

Yup ok 👍. I literally invited her over and FIL and SIL all over for Christmas Day, there was nothing sinister in it at all.

I know I haven’t done anything wrong in this, I’ve always been polite, courteous, respectful and never had any reason to dislike my MIL really. I always had the feeling she didn’t really like me, but she wouldn’t like anyone DH is with (including, and this is fair in my opinion, his previous partner who was the woman he had an affair with ruining his first marriage) because MIL sees no one as being good enough. I only had an issue with her when she was horrible to my daughter. Even then I bit my tongue and let DH deal with it and she eventually apologised. She doesn’t like the age gap between us (he is 12 years older) she doesn’t like his retirement choice (to move to France) she wants him to live in their village, and she hates that he moved away when he was 21 to join the police and start his career and adult life in another county. She is very much it’s her way or the highway, she thinks blended families are awful and despite DH already having one before meeting me (of his own doing) she has taken a dislike to me and my daughter.

Anyway, all I would like is for my decorations to come back to me and not be on her tree!

Can we just to keep this thread to what’s important - OP getting her decorations back.

I thought there was going to be an actual update, not pointless bitchiness.

DH actually contacted her before asking what they are doing and inviting them over. There was absolutely nothing sinister in it! I honestly don’t know why people always read something that isn’t there! If we had had and argument or disagreement or something prior to me inviting her over then maybe but there was nothing of that nature. The contact prior to that was her asking DH to ask me to send the Christmas list ideas to her, which I did and it included nothing for me on there!

Thank you! That’s all I’d like

Sorry fair enough then - if he'd already invited them then ok, it read as a bit of an instruction to decline but not if they'd already expressed doubts about managing it.

She probably feels that you love drama too much to be drawn into it.

Yes that must be it, especially as I’ve drawn 0 drama into their lives 🤷‍♀️ 🤦‍♀️

OP, ignore all of these posters. Seems their goal is to fill the thread with batshittery until it's full and then we'd never get a real update! 😉

I have noticed a few threads getting sidetracked with batshittery @ExhaustedPigeon37 . I think it’s just the time of year affects some posters badly. Ignoring them is the best strategy.

All the sane people just want to know about whatever 🥷🥷🥷 skullduggery goes on in order to retrieve your precious decorations!

I thought mnhq was supposed to be putting a stop to unnecessarily aggressive posts

Completely agree with this!

@Flicitytricity so funny! I suggest you seek out the film Tag, came out in 2017/18 approx, I think you’ll like it! 😂

If your immediate thought is to post on here, instead of having an adult conversation, and contemplate stealing your MILs decorations, you obviously thrive on drama, and your MIL probably sees right through you.

Not sure what other course of action was open to OP? If she had asked the MIL outright she was obviously going to deny it right? Either she took them and remembered how she came about them in which case she would surely deny it and probably hide the decorations away either from embarrassment or meaness meaning OP would never get them back. OR she won't remember taking them in which case would assume she has always had them and would respond along those lines. Then if OP takes them back she's immediately going to know right? OP seems certain they are hers I think you have to trust her on this as she's clearly not batshit crazy and she just wants to retrieve them with as little as fuss as possible. In her situation it's actually the least dramatic option. She doesn't want a rift or a fuss or a fallout. Just wants them back quietly where they belong. Would probably even hide them away until next year now when all the drama has faded and then get them out again as is her right as they are hers. I can't see why or how that's the drama llama option.