MIL has stolen my childhood christmas decorations!

[ExhaustedPigeon37]

Hello all,

Bit of a strange one but I think my MIL has stolen my Christmas Decorations!!

They have been in my family since I was small and although they aren’t expensive, nothing special they are just sentimental to me.

We had these three decorations, saying Joy, Noel and Ho Ho Ho with a Santa head on the top. The letters cascade downwards and the Santa has a loop so that you can hang them up. This year I put our decorations up and only found the Joy one. Asked DH and he said he hadn’t seen them, so I only put the Joy one up thinking I’d come across them in another box, I never did.

Fast forward to yesterday when we went over to theirs and they live about an hour away so we stayed for dinner and catch up after DH finished work. MIL was showing us her new decorations and the tree (which is themed red and white). I happened to glance at the bottom of the tree where I saw THE/MY Noel and Ho Ho Ho decorations hanging off of her tree!!! I’ve never seen these decorations at their house before, so the only conclusion I can come to is that they are mine, which is why I couldn’t find them this year!

Asked DH and he said he didn’t notice, asked if he remembers us giving them to her or anything and he said can’t at all. Last year we moved house in

I’m so shocked. What do I do? Do I ask for them back? Do I just leave it? Do I sneak them out when we next go there? DH wanted to stay at home on Boxing Day but I now want to go there to retrieve my decorations (they have been invited on Christmas Day but declined due to the journey and FIL recently having had a knee replacement).

I’m pretty sure they were hanging off the locks on the front windows (we have sash windows at the front of the house) and one was in the kitchen on the window lock/handle (it’s at the back of the house so not sash windows and double glazed)

I'd rescue the pair of decorations., Then, if you can find another 'Joy' one, ie the one she didn't take, I would gift it to her at Christmas and say you thought it would compliment her decorations beautifully. Just so she knows you know.

100% this is what happened

Yet another thread with people tying themselves in knots, this time trying to find a way that this might not be the MIL!!

Get real!!

FACT: The one year that the OP finds herself short two decorations in a 3 part set is the very year that MIL has those very same two decorations on her tree. They are not in a set of three she might have seen on Etsy or Ebay and they have never been displayed before. Does anyone really believe that this is just a coincidence?!

She nicked them last year and probably forgot where she nicked them from, or thought/hoped that they OP wouldnt notice or care. With the back story of the family rejecting the OP as they have, of course she pinched them!

I love that bit!! Good in the book but better in the radio version with Jane Horrocks as Fenchurch! Glad to see another towel carrier, I dont think that there are many of us on here!

"mixed in with the presents last year" is the best face-saving suggestion so far on this thread. It gives her a plausible "out" though of course if she insists they are hers, you are sort of stuck then. Depends on how you think she'd react.

She sounds so spiteful toward you, it wouldn't surprise me if she took them last year when you weren't there, just to be mean. Do you suppose she "admired" them when you were off working, and your husband said "Oh feel free to take them if you like them so much" ? Maybe that's why he's balking now.

This. Because everyone is jumping to conclusions; she could well have bought the same (or her long lost Aunty Sue/next door neighbour had them and was doing a clear out and offered them to MIL this year (which would explain why husband didn't remember them even if he's normally like Sheldon with his memory).
If the decorations are unique, and weren't sold at Woolworths or whatever, is it possible she was asking and your husband/kid said something to make her think it was ok to take them?
If MIL is not the type to steal (and surely if she was, you'd have said), then why all of a sudden assume it?
IF she suddenly has started tealeafing, on a serious note you and your husband shouldn't ignore it, as a sudden change to weird behaviour can be an indicator of health issues.

Since it's possible that your MIL nicked yours and more likely, unfortunately, than she's had them stashed away for a couple of decades, I'd conclude that they are probably your ones that had belonged to your mother. The easiest way of solving this without accusations is to do the old switcheroo - get replacements and leave them in place of the ones she took. Of course you shouldn't have to pay out to get your own property back, but it's the one way of recovering what's yours and precious to you without major family fallouts.

@PyongyangKipperbang Whenever we are served a sub standard cup of tea anywhere, we refer to it as "Drinks-O-Matic tea". Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea...

At work I will sometimes run floor and take peoples food out to them. I will serve two plates of food and someone will ALWAYS say "Oh we ordered extra sauce/chips/cow leg". I walk back into the kitchen and shout "DO I LOOK LIKE ZAPHOD FUCKING BEEBLEBROX?!!!" !

Too coincidental not to be yours. Ideally, I’d ask in person to gauge their reaction.

Very odd however I had a similar experience many years ago with something of mine lost from my home and shortly after seeing at my IL’s (this was never resolved as I was so completely shocked by the strangeness of it).

Sounds to me 99.9% certain that they're yours. Say nothing more about it to ANYONE, go there ASAP, wear something with a pocket, pop them in your pocket and when back home, put them up on your tree. When she visits, say proudly, "I'm so happy..I found my lost childhood tree ornaments ....in a pocket!". If she did nick them, she can say nothing, if not, she should be glad for you. End of.

How old is she, OP? Because when we were clearing out my mother's house, my niece and I found that ALL the very nice framed wedding photos and pictures of children on display were of people we didn't recognise. We opened up the frames to see if there was anything written on the back, and when there was it was something like "To Nana Jane/Susan, with love from Simon/Arabella." Her name was not Jane or Susan and there are no Simons or Arabellas in the (huge) family, so we reckoned she'd been pocketing them up in other people's houses. Dementia.

How about taking your two from her tree and leave the third one hanging on MIL tree
If she says anything tell her she can borrow the third one just for this year and then you want it back

There are clearly only two options:

1. Wrap ‘Joy’ and present it on Christmas Day, carefully watching their expressions when opening the treasure.
2. Dial 999 and request an immediate armed response.

On careful reflection, I favour 2.

But what are the chances that they’re literally the same ones the op is missing?

So I’ve just asked DH and he said there no history of dementia on his mums side, I’ve also just remembered from last night that she said she was 63 and was adamant about it for 2-3 mins before SIL back DH up saying no she is 76! She also said to me “does DH still need vouchers or Jeans from Next for Christmas” whilst he was standing right behind me! All of this and then the dad and name confusion is making me worry slightly more than what I was earlier!

I’ve said is it worth speaking to SIL and getting her to keep an eye on her but he said “Nah, we’ll just see how it goes!” 🤦‍♀️

😂😂😂

OP, you mentioned that it felt she had finally accepted you and DD. Have these decorations ever come up in conversation whilst at your house, and the sentimentality of them?

If it were me I think I’d be a little worried that it was a bit of a facade and instead a slightly devious plan to get you to mention it and then appear to cause drama at Christmas or even worse you steal them back, she accuse you and then find them in your handbag and make you look like the thief! Your DH sounds unlikely to back you up against his mum.

Really hard to know without having met them but it is just so strange!

I think rather than messaging I’d have to wait until I was naturally there on Boxing Day and just grab them in front of people and ask ‘Are these ours? We lost the exact same ones this year? How odd.’ Put the suspicion back on her without accusing.

Though having just read your last post perhaps she’s not so aware and it is something else. When my nan got dementia she would never accept when we told her what her age really was.

Oh, poor woman. What a shame. It's such a cruel illness and so distressing for loved ones.

Why don't you just ask her. Surely this is more likely to he a mix up than anything else? She probably took them by accident. If she stole them why on earth would she brazenly hang them from the tree!

If she does not have the Joy one on her tree then she has half inched them. Take them back. Don’t ask for them as she will lie.

What possible rationale explanation could she come up with that they are hers? None. And she’ll feel embarrassed and make up some cock a hoop.

Just take them when shes in the kitchen.

I'd full on psych her out by saying you're surprised she chose a red and white colour scheme, given it's traditionally linked to death rites and thought to be bad luck. Then say "I'm sure you'll be OK though; it's not like you store up bad karma for yourself. We don't want 2026 to be the year you receive a cancer diagnosis or something!"

I wouldn't really, but if I had no tact and plenty of courage it'd be so tempting. You could perhaps mention the bad luck thing without it being too offensive.

Just here to observe operation decoration 😂

Not as daft as it sounds.

I have been noticing things over the last few years (ma is a similar age) and my sister was very dismissive but now even she has said "yep there is an issue here" but she is still this side of ok. Dementia was a major factor in her mother's and sister's deaths. It is her absolute worst fear she is terrified of it. If we mentioned it she would totally go off on one and we would be the worst daughters ever. My father is a similar age and he is a)used to it b) a bit forgetful himself (but not to her level) and c) would refuse to accept it too.

So we have decided to watch and wait until one of them says something to us, then we can support as required.