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Christmas

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Original poster

Stocking for new MIL - yea or nay?

63 replies

Notthehill · 30/11/2025 17:19

34 year old son and his newish wife have invited family to their new home for Christmas: me, my other (very adult) children, and son's MIL (his wife's mother). This is the first time we will all be spending Christmas with MIL.

I always do big stockings for my kids, and in recent years for DIL too. It's a massive tradition in our family. So, I will be bringing stuffed stockings to my son's home this year (I'm arriving a couple of days before Xmas) which will be there for them to open on Christmas morning.

Question: should I do a stocking for the MIL? I had been planning to, and had started buying a few bits and pieces for it. But am now thinking it might be a bit odd and could embarrass her? What do you think?

OP posts:
Nearly50omg · 01/12/2025 21:24

What if the mil does stockings too?!!?!!

SecretSquirrelLoo · 01/12/2025 21:31

Ask!

Timeforabitofpeace · 01/12/2025 21:38

Dont Don’t do it. It may offend.

Timeforabitofpeace · 01/12/2025 21:38

(Follow their lead). It’s them hosting.

DuchessofReality · 02/12/2025 08:13

Haven’t read the whole thread but have you thought about getting your MIL’s details beforehand and perhaps suggesting you share doing the stocking for her daughter?

Also - do you get one? If you do, who does yours and wouldn’t they also do one for MIL? If not - well it won’t be necessary to do one for her because it will just be for the ‘children’.

I would strive for a result that shares the giving.

BeaLola · 02/12/2025 14:08

I think it sounds lovely and would definitely do one for MIL but I would just check in with DS and DIL in case they are planning to do

ForestFrank · 02/12/2025 19:03

I think the stockings sound like a bit of fun and whilst you may not make as much of them this year as you're not in your home, it sounds like a 'family tradition' worth carrying on.
I think I'd perhaps do a slightly smaller stocking for MIL so that she feels included, but not OTT so she feels embarrassed - hopefully it will be a great way for everyone to get the into the spirit of Christmas as one big family.

Hopingtobeaparent · 02/12/2025 19:41

Honestly, I think it all just depends on the humours of the people involved. If you’re doing them (I hope you do!) then defo do MiL one and hopefully she’ll see, and appreciate, the fun in it!

It’s interesting though to hear of others keeping the adult child stocking thing going. Ours stopped a few years ago (I’m 45 now) as BiL shamed us all about it…

Have fun!

llizzie · 03/12/2025 00:19

Notthehill · 30/11/2025 17:19

34 year old son and his newish wife have invited family to their new home for Christmas: me, my other (very adult) children, and son's MIL (his wife's mother). This is the first time we will all be spending Christmas with MIL.

I always do big stockings for my kids, and in recent years for DIL too. It's a massive tradition in our family. So, I will be bringing stuffed stockings to my son's home this year (I'm arriving a couple of days before Xmas) which will be there for them to open on Christmas morning.

Question: should I do a stocking for the MIL? I had been planning to, and had started buying a few bits and pieces for it. But am now thinking it might be a bit odd and could embarrass her? What do you think?

If you are saving money being at your DS at Christmas, why not a small present and some bottles of festive spirit?

caringcarer · 03/12/2025 00:23

Santa brings stockings to everyone in my house at Xmastime. My DS's gf gets one as do SiL. I do one for my MiL too. I know she loves getting one.

Lamentingalways · 03/12/2025 10:33

I can’t imagine ever being offended that someone did something this thoughtful for me. The only issue I could see would be that she might be embarrassed that she didn’t bring anything for you but maybe you could hold hers back to see how it feels once you’re all together - who’s to say she won’t have brought you a little gift anyway?

Original poster
Notthehill · 04/12/2025 02:36

OK - can report back. I took the advice on this thread and checked with son about whether it would be welcome for 'Santa' to bring stockings, per usual, even though he is hosting at his home. He was stunned at the idea that I was contemplating NOT doing stockings, mentioned how much it would mean to his younger (but still very adult) siblings etc. But he did say he'd pass it by DIL.

If she is ok with the general idea, I have decided to do (a small, tasteful) one for MIL as well and caution be damned. I'm already thinking it was a bit needless to check with son, and the surprise is spoiled, but safer to have done so!

OP posts:
JingsMahBucket · 04/12/2025 09:18

@Notthehill well done! You’re a really sweet and considerate person and I’m sure your son’s MIL would love to be included. ☺️💐

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