Does anyone else like exchanging adult Christmas presents

[Nameinspirationneeded]

prompted by seeing more threads about how pointless and wasteful it is. Presents should be children only, at most maybe secret Santa.

Maybe because I’m in a small family so it’s practical. I exchange with my parents and some close friends. Just reading the other threads I feel grabby. I like feeling thought of, and spending time thinking what others would like, but wouldn’t probably treat themselves to.

im absolutely fine with others deciding they don’t want to and I’d stop and don’t feel offended.

DH buys me tat despite me saying year after year that I don’t want anything. One year I put a present straight in the charity bag to try and hammer home my point!
I like getting gifts off my adult kids as they are actually thoughtful.

I like feeling thought of but unfortunately it doesn't pan out quite as it is in my head. Stopped swapping gifts with adults in our family around 3 years ago. DH and I now agree on token gifts only. I then buy what I want for myself. It is a bit sad, but like others I was just getting stuff I didn't want or use and couldn't get past however much money was being spent on all that.

Me! Although it’s really only DH and I do it now. Though we do get cash or voucher gifts from our surviving parents, and we buy presents for both of them.

i don’t think it’s particularly grabby. I like buying gifts and it’s nice to have some to open on Christmas Day too. I wouldn’t want to stop buying for DC either, now almost at adult stage.

Yes I like exchanging adult presents , why not , you don’t get a cut off date when you no longer want to be appreciated , treated , excited , thankful etc . Besides my friends / family no longer have children . I love buying gifts , choosing , wrapping etc

Love it

only do it with sister and two closest friends

and we buy strictly indulgent stuff. Like outrageously expensive hair care (oribe kind of thing)

it’s lovely!

Do you get him anything?

Yes. But usually clothes as he doesn’t buy any, and at least he wears them.

What’s the “tat” he buys you?

I hate it. My mum and I have agreed with my brother and SIL to no adult presents this year. It stresses us all out and we are all happy just to stick to kids.

We’ve stopped doing it amongst my adult siblings bar 1 and I always buy for my mum, couldn’t imagine not. DH’s family, we do secret Santa. DH and I still buy for each other too. We all get stuff we want though, use lists and suggestions. Yeah we could just buy that stuff ourselves but it’s more fun this way. I also don’t have a lot of disposable income so I actually don’t buy what I want throughout the year.

Yes, of course... but only if that person actually wants to give a gift, and actually cares enough to try.

Me and my partner both put a lot of effort in, and it is lovely.. as do some of my family.. but not others.

The problem isn't with adult gifting, it is with gifting because of obligation rather than actual care. What I've seen happen is that adults gift out of pure obligation. "I need to get a gift for X" do they actually want to give a gift to them? Honestly? From their heart? No. They just feel they need to, so they put minimal effort in - maybe they don't even know that person deeply enough to know what they actually like. So they either buy from a list, or choose random tat. And that is what people object to. That is what feels pointless.

The reason it doesn't feel pointless with Children is because:

1, people care more about making kids happy, so they are more willing to put the effort in.
2, Kids are happy with most things (if they are young enough.. an empty box) and as such the gift is generally well received regardless.

My siblings and I get each other things we need and have asked for. I've asked for tights, tea towels and a pastry brush this year. It doesn't have to be things nobody actually wants.

Yes, I enjoy it.
I don’t have children and I dislike this notion that Christmas is ‘only for kids’.

I think the problem is that it is genuinely difficult to find presents that are thoughtful and someone will love that are also within budget and they don't already have it. Unless you go down the list route (which many of us prefer not to).

It does get too much.

In the family we only buy for elderly people or adults without kids (3 people).
We have a set of friends who won’t stop buying (we’ve tried to stop it multiple times) which is annoying really.
There are multiple kids in the family and it’s become really expensive, would be better to do a secret Santa and get them something wow.

I like it when it's meaningful and not excessive. I have a couple of friends I exchange gifts with and they are always thoughtful, we don't buy each other tat. For one of these friends, he only receives a gift from me and a gift from his parents so it means a lot to be thought of.

On my dad's side of the family there are 5 adult daughters and their partners, so we stopped exchanging gifts a long time ago.

I love it!

We go completely mad every Christmas and Birthday for each other, adult children and their partners.

Our DC’s are the same as that’s what they’ve grown up with.
It’s not about the value (everyone buys within their own means) but there is always lots of thought gone into it.

No presents for any adults in our family, max £25 for each child. I usually ask the teens what they want and they send a list. At least I’m getting something they want, like earrings or cosmetics etc.
For DP I usually get aftershave and item of clothing. I’ve asked for a le cruset pot this year which I’m very excited about! I just don’t see the point of buying tat. Can you send him a list OP?

We have no children to buy for so Christmas would be crap if the adults didn't exchange gifts. I buy for my DH, our adult DC and their partners and my DM. We are all spending Christmas together and give to each other. It is lovely.

But what does that achieve, honestly?

You could just buy those things any day of the week. How does asking for a pastry brush from your sister and her wrapping it and presenting it to you on Christmas day enhance your lives and relationship? It's just life admin for the sake of it. Do we not all have enough to do already?

I don't understand what people mean by 'we give each other treats that we wouldn't buy for ourselves' either. Why not? You're spending the same amount of money either way.

Nothing to stop get together, and contributing with food and drink but the present giving is just a waste of time and money.

I don't understand what people mean by 'we give each other treats that we wouldn't buy for ourselves' either. Why not? You're spending the same amount of money either way.

because I wouldn’t justify spending £50 on a shampoo and conditioner for myself, but I wouldn’t justify spending for my best friend of 29 years or my sister.

Not everything in life do I set out to “achieve” anything 😆

Me! I do presents with DH, DM, PIL, and my butter and his partner. Everyone I know does, Mumsnet is the only time I have ever heard people say they don’t do them

I love it. I love wrapping carefully with ribbons and presenting something lovely, and giving lovely gifts. I also love getting gifts!

Why does a present have to achieve anything? Being on mumsnet doesn’t achieve anything yet here we all are.

Quite agree. I suppose though you either get pleasure out of buying and receiving or you don’t and if you don’t then you’ll think it’s pointless? But crikey have some emotional intelligence and realise that it doesn’t render present giving pointless.