Does anyone else like exchanging adult Christmas presents

[Nameinspirationneeded]

prompted by seeing more threads about how pointless and wasteful it is. Presents should be children only, at most maybe secret Santa.

Maybe because I’m in a small family so it’s practical. I exchange with my parents and some close friends. Just reading the other threads I feel grabby. I like feeling thought of, and spending time thinking what others would like, but wouldn’t probably treat themselves to.

im absolutely fine with others deciding they don’t want to and I’d stop and don’t feel offended.

I like doing it. I’m child free so I simply wouldn’t get anything if it was kids only. I find kids only policies a bit joyless tbh

I like exchanging gifts but it is harder as you get older. I never have a clue what my Dad or brother want. I've various times came up with what I hope are thoughtful gifts that I see still sitting untouched and unopened where they were left on Christmas Day months later. My brother buys me gag gifts as well as nice ones and I've tried that too but while I always laugh and play along with he doesn't pull any punches with me. Even if I ask them they say they don't know and to surprise them.

My mum is easier in some ways as she might pick out slippers or night ware she wants for us buy her and she likes jewellery, perfumes, scarves etc. One issue is that I used to be able to go out and find a nice earrings and necklace set for £30 in M&S or Next but now to get something my mum might like I have to spend £65 +, Perfume is so expensive now as well I don't mind paying but its such a lot of money if I get it wrong. It's also so hard to find her nice coffee chocolates that she likes. I feel like I get the same ones on repeat.

My Husband will tell me some things, usually very practical gifts and I try to come up with some surprises but cycling though games, books, puzzles feels a bit repetitive.

I also tend to buy my own gifts for everyone else to give me to make it easier for them as they request. My mum used to go out and find surprises for me but she's too elderly now. I have a friend I buy fer her and her children and she gets me a gift which is usually nice. I do put a lot of thought in, perhaps I over think it all but I do find it stressful.

I also don't really enjoy shopping especially at Christmas as it's too crowded and I feel under pressure and indecisive and so I can only really enjoy Christmas when I feel the shopping is all done and dusted. But then you have time to worry that you've not bought enough, for something you liked to suddenly seem crap and so on.

So I do like exchanging gifts but I also find it all very stressful these days.

I have a tiny family, so the only adults are my DH, DC and their partner. We all buy for each other. I like buying and receiving gifts and it wouldn’t feel like Christmas without them. I reduce the stress by keeping a list and adding ideas when I see something or something is mentioned. I buy early and keep my eye out for reductions.

I don’t like it and I’ve stopped doing gifts for almost everyone now. There’s enough hassle at this time of year. It feels ridiculous and wasteful to me.
I enjoy gift giving and receiving on birthdays, but that’s easier. There’s more time and money at other times of year.

I enjoy it and I like to receive gifts. I have a fairly small amount of gifts to buy adults though and I know all the people I buy for well so think I can do a decent job. We do a family secret Santa with the whole family and then buy extra for nieces and nephews. I like that the kids get involved in buying adults gifts too, shows Christmas isn't all about them. Saying that I do worry I've got decent things and I put a lot of effort into finding something I think they will like, but it's worth it.

I do not like receiving presents and I wish people would listen when I say I don't want anything. My in-laws insist on buying me things and I actually find it really disrespectful and upsetting. I imagine in their head they think they are being kind, or they enjoy giving, or at least satisfying their own sense of obligation to do it. I see it as so selfish to force that on me when I do not want it. It highlights that they really don't care about my views, and it stresses me to accumulate unwanted things to store or get rid of.

I love giving and receiving gifts. No young children in the family. I enjoy finding that gift I know they will love. I love wrapping that gift (With Christmas music on.) and putting it under the tree. I don't understand the you're an adult, you shouldn't have gifts. What's wrong with a bit of suspense/fun?

If I was my SIL I think I’d love it, she’s got great taste and a fantastic memory so any gift she buys is 99% guaranteed to be a winner. She is the only person I know who is actually good at it though, everyone else in close and extended family buy things that they think are great but have no idea if the recipient wants or needs (but we can’t do lists because that’s not in the spirit).
I’m always grateful to receive something I want or need (favourite chocolates, nice wine, decent coffee, fancy biscuits, tights) but so often it’s something I’ll never use (cheese board for a lactose intolerant person anyone?!) that is being given out of some misplaced sense of obligation.

Everyone gets presents here!! I don’t understand why you wouldn’t give presents to other adults especially your family!!

The adults that I get presents for are my partner, my parents, my grandma and my friends and we get presents for my partners parents, grandparents and brother too. I will also get something for my child’s nursery, his key worker and his preschool class teachers 🥰

I am finding it really difficult to think of things that I would like from other people this year though and my mum and my partners mum keep asking me 😅

I love it! I only buy for my husband and adult children (no GC yet), and like PP, we buy luxuries that you put off buying the rest of the year. The kind of stuff like a rare book that doubles the cost of my Amazon basket so I save it for later but seem to get through the year without buying as that £40 always needs to be spent on something that is more of a priority. We also give out lists so people have a rough idea of what each person wants but only tend to buy a couple of things off the lists so people have a surprise on the day. As long as every one can afford it, it is fun to give and receive thoughtful presents. One of my DD's has just bought a house that needs renovating so she is on a very tight budget. No one cares if she hasn't got the money for presents as long as we get to see her!

I do! BILs gf keeps trying to suggest we do a secret Santa but we refuse every year - how joyless! I enjoy choosing things for people they might like and I enjoy receiving gifts that have been chosen for me, not because I have asked for them, but because I might appreciate it.

I don’t enjoy being told want to purchase for someone or people asking for Amazon links of what I want.

My brother told us they weren’t buying for the adults anymore years ago, just the children. They were the only ones with children - multiple children. I’ve always been single and now receive no presents but am expected to give them. It just seems a little sad.

Mumsnet is fucking weird about adults having any joy in their lives, you're not allowed to want fuss on your birthday after 18 either.

Enjoy what you enjoy and don't ever use Mumsnet as a yardstick against which to measure your life.

Yes! Dh was bit crap first few but really got it and I had over decade of nice gifts. We still do with my family too when we are in a same country for Christmas.
Everyone in my family does.

Christmas is predominantly for the kids, but I do still enjoy giving and getting presents, just doesn’t feel like Christmas when you just sat in the house waiting for your grandkids to come round at some point( maybe not even Christmas Day). We have fairly recently stopped buying for each other, DWs decision, and it’s just not the same

I think this is where I go wrong. I’m absolutely fine with anyone deciding they don’t want to give gifts. It’s the vehemence of some posters on threads that it’s all pointless, all wasteful and tat that all adults (not just giving their own relatives and friends) . That we could just buy what we want. Also that I’ve already seen 2 or 3 threads on the same subject. (I did only open one, knew the way it was likely to go for the other.)

I love buying for others, I’m a real giver and take a lot of pleasure in choosing carefully and wrapping nicely.

Sadly, it does mean I’m setting myself for a bit of a fall, as generally there isn’t anyone who makes the same level of effort, and that’s taken a long time to accept. I’d never say anything, always act grateful, but it’s hard when you care loads, and those that care about you just buy something (probably because it was easy!) that is a bit meh

Fortunately in recent years, my son’s lovely girlfriend has been fabulous at buying gifts, and happens to work at one of my favourite shops, so I get lovely gifts from her!

I love getting and giving presents.

Oh that’s a bit rubbish, we’ve always had a rule that we buy for children in a family with children, if the adults buy for our children and don’t have any of their own then we buy for them

Yes I like it but I only give to close family, I only spend about £20 per person max and I put a lot of thought into it. The only person who gets a generic gift is my cleaner and that's because it's something to wrap up with her actual gift which is two weeks' extra pay, to make it look a bit more Christmassy.

I would very happily do away with all adult presents personally but no one in either of our families seem on board with this 😂
I just buy myself the things I want when I want them.
However other than DH no other adult buys me a present at Christmas. I do buy a lot of adults presents but under instruction not to get anything for dh and I as they always buy for our dc.
Wish they’d stop buying for the dc too tbh, I have to give them all the ideas in the first place!
Hey ho.
I do love Christmas but the presents is just too much. We do have very large families on both sides though and we buy for around 50 people. Madness.

I think this is a crux of it.

If you and your family half arse shit-generic-Aldi-candle-that’ll-do type presents then of course it’s a waste of time and money. But if you buy thoughtful and meaningful gifts it really can be a joyful thing. My DC are young adults and they really put thought and effort into what they buy each other (and us, embarrassingly).

There is no tat. Just nice, lovingly given surprises.

I think this is a great idea; practical items that often don't usually get bought by the recipient ( for some reason, but we all do it) and that aren't a great financial hardship for most to buy AND that the giver knows will be useful, wanted, and appreciated!

That would not wash in my family. I know my MiL woild be livid if she didn't get a present. We only really do immediate family; parents, grandparents, siblings, token gifts for my young cousins but Aunts, Uncles, older cousins, only get a card and maybe a box of chocolates if we see them. My best friend and I will exchange gifts, but she's the only non-family adult who gets a gift.

I love gifting to friends, not as much family as most of them don’t seem to have many interests. I love picking out gifts for friend and I get excited about gifting. We don’t have many children in the family to buy for, just my young adult dc. Christmas isn’t just for children so it makes me a bit sad when people say there are no longer buying for adults (I would then have no one to buy for). I don’t mind if people chose not to buy me gifts, I prefer giving.