Christmas as small family unit vs big family christmas- what should we do?

[Hungryhippos123]

What would you do? Last year we hosted in laws (12 of us in total), previously my family so on so on. Always a bit xmas meal at least 8 of us- DH and I like to host! DH is a teacher so off over Christmas, I am working til 4pm Christmas eve for context:
Option 1: Stay home and have christmas as a 4. PJs all day, cosy film, lovely xmas dinner at home. Sounds great but would it feel a bit...quiet? Lonely thinking of all the big families getting together? We would see family briefly on Boxing day and then go and stay with family over NYE.
Option 2: Wake at home, have presents and breakfast as a 4 and then travel to my parents (45 mins away) and stay overnight. Approx 12 people there in my immediate family. BUT hosting person is a dreadful cook (sorry!) so food wont be anywhere near as good. Also travelling on the day etc... Still same plans over NYE.
I kind of want to try a christmas as a 4 but worried if will feel anti-climactic. Kids happy either way really.

Sorry also posted in chat but thought might get more traction here?

Definitely option 1!

Both are good options, but for option 2 (and I’ve done this before) may insist on sharing the cooking load. When I’ve gone to family where cooking is not their strong point I’ve brought a small turkey, gammon and stuffing.

We don’t Christmas at the in-laws for many reasons - but one of them is I won’t tolerate how poor the culinary offerings are, as someone who comes from a family of enthusiastic cooks! Christmas Dinner is the most important part of the day for me 🙈

Option 1.

How old are your children? Option 1 was what we did during Covid, I loved it but my children thought it was their worst Xmas day ever and still complain about it (8 &11at the time)

When Dts were two we stayed at home, anyone welcome to join but shuttling around different family members was just stressful. They wanted to play with their new toys and imo as a firmly non religious person is about the kids. We always had and still do have a Boxing Day shindig.

It so depends upon the type of people you are. We tried a small family Christmas when the kids were about 6 and 4 and didn’t enjoy it at all!

When my kids were small I would not have liked option one at all. Quiet and a bit slow and sad. Similar to any Sunday and not like Christmas.

Option 2!

Much more fun for kids, you can sit around wearing your night attire and watching telly any day.

This is my worry I suppose. But then friends and others say it’s lovely to have a super chilled snuggly Christmas and it’s probably the last year the eldest will ‘believe’ and they’ll have toys to play with so part of me wants to lean into that and have them all to myself! We have loads going on around Christmas so it’s not like it’s the one day of stuff!

I'd do option 2 for Christmas day and Option one for boxing day.

Option 1- I'd far prefer that. I dont think bigger families are necessarily better either, in fact, to me it seems the bigger the family the more disagreements are had!

Option 2. Big family Christmas won't always be an option, enjoy them while you can.

This is so individual. You will have many people telling you to go option 1 all the way and if that's what you prefer then absolutely it's what you should do. It's not what I would choose. Both as a child and an adult, a 'big' Christmas feels much more special to me. I would, however, find some way to engineer not eating rubbish food, even if that meant I had to do some of the cooking myself.

personally I’d jump for option 2, I even love the travel bit, plus you get to do presents in the morning but all down to your gut really- I love the madness- I love seeing my elderly uncle dozing with his presents on his lap, I love my aunt grinning around the place and my db who isn’t social popping in, smiling then nodding, then popping out. But down to your gut!

Option one- but I’ve only ever done that. Growing up it was spent with my parents and siblings- we didn’t see cousins or grandparents etc. Now it’s just me and DD4. None of us in the family have ever discussed meeting up on Xmas day as far as I know!

Option 1 without a doubt. But not in PJ's all day (that's just my preference though).

With kids I’d always go for the bigger option, more fun for them. You can do the cosy thing on boxing day. I don’t really get the cosy PJs thing though as quite like getting dressed up and drinking fizz.

Option 2. Think of something fun to do en route - could be a festive carpool karaoke or a competition as to who can spot the most Santas. Have a lovely Christmas Eve dinner and a fab breakfast to make up for slightly sub par Christmas dinner.

Option 1,, but get dressed and go for a walk. Or option 2, but go after the main meal? Eat out first, even.

In you situation I’d either bite the bullet and spend it at home. You want to try so why not. You’re never going to know if you don’t. Or I’d do half and half spend the morning at home and have lunch at midday together then travel over in the afternoon to family and spend the night there. If everyone is itching to leave after dinner you’ll know that a small Christmas maybe isn’t for you but if you’re all reluctant then maybe next year you can try the whole day at home.

I'd prefer option one. It's much more relaxing, you can do what you want and when, as well as spending quality time with your DCs. When I grew up it was just me and my parents every Xmas, I still had a good time.

Option 1 - the day is what you make it. 4 of you can be fun if you make it fun.

I tried option 2 once - my in-laws can’t cook - it was pre-sliced meat, Aunt Bessie’s roast potatoes and veg from the freezer with instant gravy - it was the most unChristmassy Christmas ever because Christmas dinner is the best part of Christmas for me.

Option 1 all the way. That's my kids preffered choice. We've done many years of option 2. I like the idea of big family Christmas but it very much depends on the family! It's just a bit rubbish. Barely any food to eat they don't do a Christmas dinner. No cousins the same age so my kids are just waiting to go home. It's all just a bit awkward.

We make it fun at home. We do games watch Christmas movies we might Decorate gingerbread men. Kids get to play with their toys all day and be in pj's if they want. Total control over yummy food. We do a Christmas dog walk. It can be as fun as you want it to be.

We've done Xmas just us 5 quite a few times. It's my favourite! Not quiet or sad at all in our house. Last year was the best Christmas Day I have ever had and it was just us 5.
We did panto and curry Xmas Eve to get out before being in all day Xmas Day.