Christmas as small family unit vs big family christmas- what should we do?

[Hungryhippos123]

What would you do? Last year we hosted in laws (12 of us in total), previously my family so on so on. Always a bit xmas meal at least 8 of us- DH and I like to host! DH is a teacher so off over Christmas, I am working til 4pm Christmas eve for context:
Option 1: Stay home and have christmas as a 4. PJs all day, cosy film, lovely xmas dinner at home. Sounds great but would it feel a bit...quiet? Lonely thinking of all the big families getting together? We would see family briefly on Boxing day and then go and stay with family over NYE.
Option 2: Wake at home, have presents and breakfast as a 4 and then travel to my parents (45 mins away) and stay overnight. Approx 12 people there in my immediate family. BUT hosting person is a dreadful cook (sorry!) so food wont be anywhere near as good. Also travelling on the day etc... Still same plans over NYE.
I kind of want to try a christmas as a 4 but worried if will feel anti-climactic. Kids happy either way really.

Sorry also posted in chat but thought might get more traction here?

Option 1. Every! Single! Year! 🎄

Option 1

Option 2. Christmas is about the company for me. Growing up we had huge family Christmases but my family now lives all over the world and dh's family aren't close so it's just the four of us and my mum. I find it really anticlimactic and would definitely do a bit of a drive and choke down some dry turkey to be with my family.

Option 2 but take as much food as you can. Eg do the cheesy leaks, the red cabbage, the gravy yourself

Thanks so much for everyone’s input!

we have gone option 2 and offered to cook all the food! Which seems to have gone down well. One main reason is the grandparent loves having a big family Christmas but struggle to host they will love seeing the kids.

Only downside is we stupidly discussed it in front of our 9 year old who on telling them we were going to GPs decided they really wanted a calm family Christmas at home…oops! I’m sure they will be excited by the time it comes around.

Option 1. It's only as quiet as you make it. We all chipped in helping with dinner. We had music on, playing with our gifts, watching films we wouldn't usually be watching (back when we didn't have all the streaming services). I really enjoyed the stay at home Christmases.

Option 1 I've never liked leaving the house and can't bear entertaining guests on Christmas day. I prefer a quiet and cosy family Christmas. We never had that as kids as we always had grandparents to stay and extended family popping in and out all day and night it was busy, loud & felt stressful as a child on best " behaviour or else" instead of being relaxed & enjoyable.

It's so individual isn't it? We personally like Option 1 but that's because the rest of our time is manic. Always a pub lunch with friends on Christmas Eve, we host a party for 15-20 people on Boxing Day and then we travel to visit my parents between Christmas and New Year. So having a quiet Christmas Day just the 4 of us is ideal. Even then it's not that quiet as it goes in a flurry of church, presents, lunch, walk, falling asleep on the sofa etc. I love both the hectic times and the quietness so I think as long as I get a balance I'm happy with a calm Christmas Day just pleasing ourselves.

I would go option 2. I know people say how relaxing it is to do option 1, but I think those that have big families are so lucky. I have a smaller family and the 3 of us (DH, me and DC) will go to my parent’s place later in the day for Xmas dinner and my siblings are there too so our little group becomes slightly bigger. We will see in-laws the week before.

NY is not a huge deal we will just treat it like a normal night.

edited as missed update! Hope you have a lovely day.

1 - we do it every year as now as we have no close family left to see. My kids have mainly grown up with the “tradition” & know no better but love the morning opening & building & playing.

film, walk with dog & new bikes etc, pjs rest of the day (clean ones for bed lol) chilled out day. Hot rolls for breakfast, chcooclate & snacky bits for lunch if hungry then a later dinner about 5ish unless we get hungry sooner so no pressure on me to get dinner out at an expected time.

growing up we had to leave early to go to one grandparents i wasn’t close to and always busy with cousins i only ever saw that day then to my other grans who inwae close to - one aunt, cousin & great gran. Then home for dinner. It always felt “rushed” although i didn’t know better and always thought i’d like a year at home. Not necessarily “better” now but as i said no choice so we make the most of the day together. Lonely & quiet at times but lovely & unstressful too - in your situation i’d do option 1. It would be nice to have the option to alternate yearly and chose and if it’s not for you just chilling out and relaxing as a 4 you can go just go back to normal next year & not do it again 🤷‍♀️ The day is what you make it.

We always go for option two - chaos, noise, and lots of fun.

Luckily my brother and his wife who host are excellent cooks, but even if they weren't, I could overlook that because the fun and happiness we personally get from being surrounded by our family would be worth so much more.

Option 2 - Christmas without family is just another boring Sunday. These days we have Christmas dinner at home but then still go to extended family for drinks and quizzes etc in the evening, so feels like the best of both worlds.