AuDHD. I find it easier to host than visit, because I can retreat be busy in the kitchen, and also manage the dc’s needs better than if we’re in someone else’s house, following their timetable and expectations. We’ll host pils on Christmas Day, then my family and his family on two separate days around Christmas.
I get started ridiculously early - I have a list that stretches over 12 weeks so I can just do a few things each week, without getting overwhelmed or over tired.
I scale back massively in December, because I find ordinary life gets exhausting - the traffic is heavier, the queues are longer, there are more people everywhere, etc. We’re very choosy about what events we attend, and when we do I clear a bit of time afterwards to recover. I grocery shop less and get milk delivered, and in general just try and have a lovely cosy home-based month.
We decorate and undecorate the house in stages. Some of it isn’t even decorating - I start using lamps and led candles (on timers obviously) when the evenings get dark, the curtains get drawn and blankets and throws get left around the place. Instead of fresh flowers, we start using twigs and greens, crafts, and jigsaws and piles of books get left about, as we spend more time indoors, and then the Christmas decorations go up a bit at a time - it’s mainly the tree, garlands with lights on the windows and mantle, and sometimes I put holly and lights up over the kitchen cabinets. None of it (except the tree) is in the way, and it’s not too cluttered.
I really enjoy cooking and baking, and I find that spreading it out, and freezing ahead is much nicer than trying to do it all in big bursts. I just can’t sustain that sort of energy.
I have a collection of Christmas table cloths and dishes that we use in December - ds has arfid so his food doesn’t change much. But he likes to feel a part of the special meals, and this works for him.
It’s more of a long season in our house, peaking on Christmas Day, but with a run-in and a wind-down so that it’s not overwhelming or over stimulating. And there isn’t a sharp drop when it’s over.
Both dh and I have good time off, so we have a few lazy days, stepping over Lego and gifts, until eventually someone gets the energy to tidy up a bit, but it’s just lovely and lazy. My family are easy enough to entertain just a bit food peculiar - they’ll have crazy conversations, or sit and do Lego, and won’t be phased if the dc disappear or aren’t feeling conversational. The in laws are a bit harder going, although I think dh would put that the other way round.