Christmas Day at home or with family?

Chocdown · 2025-09-19T17:50:53+00:00

What would your pros and cons be? I love Christmas at home because there’s no travel, we can eat what we want when we want it and I can always have some quiet time to myself for a bit if I need to. Christmas with family has a bit more joy, a bit more conflict, I don’t always enjoy the food and it’s often served too early or late so the kids are grumpy or tired. We always end up watching what my dad wants on the tv, or playing a weird board game my brother brought! What about you? And do you alternate to get the best of both worlds?

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 19/09/2025 18:55

At home, always. Anyone who wants is welcome to come to us, but we don't budge. The kids prefer it that way, and so do I.

BCBird · 19/09/2025 18:57

I'd say at home.

Original poster

Chocdown · 19/09/2025 19:02

@UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername I love that. I love a Christmas at home too.

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Mrspatmoresapprentice · 19/09/2025 19:07

Home. Always. Everyone and anyone who wants to come is welcome, but I will be at home. I have never been to anyone else’s house for Christmas Day since I left home at 18.

Original poster

Chocdown · 19/09/2025 19:15

I am loving this firmness and resolve, I think I need to take a leaf out of your books!

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GrumpySparkler · 19/09/2025 19:23

We are the same. Since we had kids it's Christmas at home, most of the time it's open house for anyone who wants to come, but we have actually had a few years where we've said no guests please, for one reason or another.

shellyleppard · 19/09/2025 19:24

Definitely home no doubt about it

WilfredsPies · 19/09/2025 20:09

99.9% at home. Once in a blue moon, we’ll go to the in laws (it has been maybe twice in the last 15 years) and it’s lovely, but not something we want to do more often.

I’m a big fan of Christmas being something that should make you feel happy. If being at home makes you happier than being at your parents, why would you go there?

OrangeCars · 19/09/2025 20:18

Ooh this is validating! Since having our DC there has been a LOT of guilt from the in-laws (we are decidedly not close for other reasons) who just couldn't believe we wouldn't automatically go to them / deliver their DGC to them for Christmas. They live a long distance so it is a multiple night stay away, not just popping over which I would find more tolerable. There have been public beratings on the subject.

I just want us to wake up in our own beds and be cosy, be able to have our own little traditions, and selfishly I sort of want to be the one to "create" the magic now. I feel really guilty about this though! But given the previous responses perhaps I shouldn't worry so much?

WilfredsPies · 19/09/2025 20:29

OrangeCars · 19/09/2025 20:18

Ooh this is validating! Since having our DC there has been a LOT of guilt from the in-laws (we are decidedly not close for other reasons) who just couldn't believe we wouldn't automatically go to them / deliver their DGC to them for Christmas. They live a long distance so it is a multiple night stay away, not just popping over which I would find more tolerable. There have been public beratings on the subject.

I just want us to wake up in our own beds and be cosy, be able to have our own little traditions, and selfishly I sort of want to be the one to "create" the magic now. I feel really guilty about this though! But given the previous responses perhaps I shouldn't worry so much?

Stand firm, you’ve got sod all to feel guilty about!

What were your DH’s Christmases like as a child? Did he get to stay at home? If so, you could always respond to any attempts to guilt with reminders that they celebrated their Christmases by staying at home and you intend to do the same for your children. If not, and they dragged their DC all over the place, DH could tell them that he didn’t enjoy it and he’s not putting his family through the same thing.

Or you could tell them that one more attempt to guilt trip you means that you won’t visit in the summer either, so to be very careful how they proceed.

LaughingAloudAsWeGoInsane · 19/09/2025 20:39

We stay at home. There was some resistance from the in-laws years ago, but after we told them they were welcome and their answer was that they also preferred to be at home, there wasn’t much they could say. We see family after Xmas and spend New Year with friends.

ARichtGoodDram · 19/09/2025 20:51

We stay home, but that's because we're the ones that have the space for family to come.

Last year we had 29 for Christmas dinner.
This year we have 23 for Christmas dinner (so far)

Original poster

Chocdown · 19/09/2025 21:12

@WilfredsPies it’s the guilt factor. I just need to get a grip. My parents never travelled on Christmas when we were little, everyone came to them.

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Pinkroom · 19/09/2025 21:37

I would love to go to someone else's for Christmas, always jealous of people who say they travel and go and stay with family over the Christmas period! But we have ended up hosting since we got our house 5 years ago, hosted for 19 the first year!

WilfredsPies · 19/09/2025 21:37

Chocdown · 19/09/2025 21:12

@WilfredsPies it’s the guilt factor. I just need to get a grip. My parents never travelled on Christmas when we were little, everyone came to them.

Then you’re making exactly the same choices as your parents did and probably for exactly the same reasons.

Go once every five years if you want a new experience, but that guilt is not fair on you.

OrangeCars · 19/09/2025 21:59

WilfredsPies · 19/09/2025 20:29

Stand firm, you’ve got sod all to feel guilty about!

What were your DH’s Christmases like as a child? Did he get to stay at home? If so, you could always respond to any attempts to guilt with reminders that they celebrated their Christmases by staying at home and you intend to do the same for your children. If not, and they dragged their DC all over the place, DH could tell them that he didn’t enjoy it and he’s not putting his family through the same thing.

Or you could tell them that one more attempt to guilt trip you means that you won’t visit in the summer either, so to be very careful how they proceed.

Show quote history

Thanks for the support! DH actually came from a culture that doesn't really celebrate Christmas in the same way, so his family have adopted certain aspects of it over time. His parents definitely did whatever THEY wanted to do (for holidays and also in life in general), but they get quite upset if we do the same, especially when it doesn't meet their expectations.

In fairness we actually haven't visited them in a long time, which compounds the guilt, but somehow the longer we leave it the more I absolutely dread it and try to avoid it! The thought of going for Christmas literally brings me out in a cold sweat. I very much hope my DH won't try to insist on it.

abracadabra1980 · 19/09/2025 22:10

We happily split it amongst each set of GP when the DC came along as neither of us could cook very well. Had some great times but this year, only one GP left, am now divorced x2 and living alone as DC are now living independently with partners, so I’m actually going to suggest I spend it alone at some point. I actually love my own home more than being in anyone else’s, and I just want to be with my DC, dogs and cat. If DC can’t be arsed to come over, that’s fine- we all live fairly locally and see each other all the time anyway.

middleagedandinarage · 19/09/2025 22:12

At home, since dc 1 was born I said we'll be having christmas at home. We see family christmas eve and boxing day but the day itself is just us. It's nice and chilled, dc can take as long as they want with their toys and they don't have to share them with visiting family. Also means Dh and I can have a bucksfizz with breakfast and no-one needs to worry about driving

Parky04 · 19/09/2025 22:43

We are now 25 years at home! I really can't be bothered leaving the house!

Cravey · 20/09/2025 14:45

ARichtGoodDram · 19/09/2025 20:51

We stay home, but that's because we're the ones that have the space for family to come.

Last year we had 29 for Christmas dinner.
This year we have 23 for Christmas dinner (so far)

Us too. 19 this year, all staying over. Been a thing for a long time as we have the space. Love it too.

Zempy · 20/09/2025 15:12

At home

Original poster

Chocdown · 20/09/2025 15:25

This is so liberating! I’m going to do it this year!

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Lalanbaba · 20/09/2025 18:31

100% Home!
I was guilt tripped to spend christmas at my dad's a years ago after almost a decade not going for Xmas, and mini me and my partner had a rubbish time.
Will not do it again.
I have 1 year, maybe 2 of mini me still believing and I want to make the most of it.

Bobbybobbins · 20/09/2025 18:34

At family- never had it at home.

mrsbitaly · 20/09/2025 18:49

We have xmas eve with all of the family together and we open a gift each. Xmas day we have alone with just our children. Boxing day is like our new year we have friends around a few drinks food and games and music