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Original poster

Christmas Day at home or with family?

51 replies

Chocdown · 19/09/2025 18:50

What would your pros and cons be?

I love Christmas at home because there’s no travel, we can eat what we want when we want it and I can always have some quiet time to myself for a bit if I need to.

Christmas with family has a bit more joy, a bit more conflict, I don’t always enjoy the food and it’s often served too early or late so the kids are grumpy or tired. We always end up watching what my dad wants on the tv, or playing a weird board game my brother brought!

What about you? And do you alternate to get the best of both worlds?

OP posts:
Parkxyz · 20/09/2025 19:02

We always had Xmas lunch at home and invited my widowed mum and brother, but we always had to go to MIL’s house in the evening which meant I to send them home early which I felt really bad about plus the fact that MIL’s house was very small and we had to sit on hard chairs for hours.
I really looked forward to Boxing Day when we could relax and sometimes invited our next door neighbours in which was nice and relaxing.

GameOfJones · 20/09/2025 19:06

Ever since we had DD1 we have always stayed at home. I just wanted the magic of Christmas in our own house, to be able to stay in my pyjamas if I want, not have to drive anywhere and to do as we please for one day. We will usually have relatives or friends pop round for a drink in the evening on Christmas Day but some years it's just been the four of us.

I feel no guilt whatsoever. The rest of Christmas is always really busy as we tend to visit one set of family on boxing day, another set live 250 miles away so we travel up for a few nights on the 27th or 28th and then we're with friends for New Year.

If you want to be at home on Christmas Day then I officially give you permission to do as you please! Free yourself from the guilt.....that's your Christmas present from me.

Onleemoi · 20/09/2025 19:10

We travel to family. I love them, will be gutted when they’re gone and I’m happy to make their lives easier where I can.

frozendaisy · 20/09/2025 19:41

At home for us.

But we have neighbours round, they are european so have no close family, so they come here, or we go round in the day to village folk.

Depends what Christmas is to you, we are open doors, people round we like, nothing showy just company, rich food, games, fun, champagne. We give thanks to life and love and laughter, and winter, and everything else.

Basically at home because at home can be where you want, but you don't have to keep it as just who lives in your house.

Pineapplewaves · 20/09/2025 20:03

We stay at home for Christmas, I get to cook the Christmas dinner that we like and it’s served hot, young DC get to stay in their own home and play with all their new gifts whenever they like. Family are more than welcome to join us.

mondaytosunday · 20/09/2025 20:49

It’s either at home or at my sisters’ house abroad. On balance I like it at my sisters as ‘more the merrier’ and we have fun. We share the cooking, we have our favourites, TV is not an issue. We have a lovely meal and enjoy each others company and even my (20, 22) kids manage to get along!

HeyThereDelila · 21/09/2025 06:58

We stay at home but alternate which set of in laws is invited to us each year. Those not invited Christmas Day/Boxing Day are invited later in the holiday, at New Year or in the days in between.

We’d never allow anyone to be on their own though, so if one were widowed first they’d always have a standing invitation each year.

828Pax · 21/09/2025 07:23

I've put my foot down the last 2 years and let everyone know we are staying at home. The kids want to be at home, playing with all their new toys, I want to eat and drink the foods/drinks I enjoy the most and I just want to spend time with my little family. Going to PIL is never enjoyable, my family just argue so that's not enjoyable either!

Peteryourhorseisheree · 21/09/2025 07:30

I’ve only ever spent Christmas in my own home. As a child and as an adult.

I wouldn’t want my children having to travel anywhere.

My dad always came to us. We don’t see in-laws as they always have to spend it with FILs mother (although she died aged 100 this year, so I am hoping this is the first year they might be able to come to us to give MIL a break for the first time since she was 21! Dh grandmother was a fucking dragon and very demanding around Christmas, right to the end!)

Original poster
Chocdown · 21/09/2025 09:21

@HeyThereDelila that’s a consideration here as well, if we spent Christmas at home then we would be sure to invite a family member who would otherwise be alone. It can be a lonely time

OP posts:
Original poster
Chocdown · 21/09/2025 09:24

@828Pax this is exactly word for word how I feel. I’m a little surprised at how many others feel this way!

OP posts:
GameOfJones · 21/09/2025 09:33

The thing is, Christmas is a season.... not just one day. I love my family, my in laws are great so there's no issues on either side. We used to alternate Christmas Day with each side before having children but once we had DDs we have stayed home.

I want to hang the stockings from Father Christmas on our own fireplace, I do not want to be driving on the motorway for hours on Christmas Eve, we are busy enough the rest of the time.... I just want one chilled out day where we can please ourselves.

I actually think seeing everyone separately extends the festivities. We saw one set of family the weekend before Christmas last year, had a buffet, exchanged presents and all said it felt like Christmas Day. Then a lovely, quiet day on the 25th, then the in laws all round to ours on Boxing Day for a big party, then went to friends for New Year. As long as we see everyone at some point I don't think it matters personally whether it's the 23rd or 25th or 28th or 30th of December.

MadisonMarieParksValetta · 21/09/2025 09:36

For the first time ever we are staying at home this year. I'm actually quite nervous about it and wondering if I have made the wrong decision. I do hope we won't get bored! But I'm fed up of dragging 2 shattered kids around who only want to be at home with their new presents.

PaddingtonBlah · 21/09/2025 09:41

We do a big family Christmas the weekend before - Christmas dinner, 2 gifts each (a sort of not secret Santa), walks and an event like panto or Santa trip. The kids love seeing all their cousins and playing together. We then all go our separate ways to do actual Christmas as we wish.

I made a firm statement to stay home as soon as we had DC. I love the bubble feeling, staying in PJ's and not having to go anywhere. I've done years of having to fit in with other people's plans and it was great to draw a line under it.

betsy99 · 21/09/2025 09:44

Generally at home when the kids were growing up but the occasional Christmas have traveled to family in special circumstances, e.g we had it at my parents when my dad was terminal, or at in laws when BIL and SIL were over from Australia for the first time in donkeys years. Although the kids were older at that point.

With three young children, it was such a faff and stressful to travel, and they liked being at home. Also, I didn't want to fall into the alternating grandparents trap, too much politics! the door was always open to my family and in the in laws.

stealthninjamum · 21/09/2025 09:53

Hmm I’m not sure. Most christmases have been spent here since exh moved out but I would be happy if dc got a Xmas invite from an in-law (with or without me). think if Christmas is always 100% how you like it you’re losing out on an opportunity to try new traditions and for your dc to learn skills like compromising over dinner time / present opening. I had such happy memories as a child and would enjoy playing games with my relatives and I don’t remember being upset because my grandmother did a different Christmas dinner at the wrong time. It’s possible I have an over rosy view of this because my grandparents all died really young.

Original poster
Chocdown · 21/09/2025 09:58

@GameOfJones I love that way of thinking about it, it feels more joyous and less frantic!

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 21/09/2025 14:54

WilfredsPies · 19/09/2025 20:09

99.9% at home. Once in a blue moon, we’ll go to the in laws (it has been maybe twice in the last 15 years) and it’s lovely, but not something we want to do more often.

I’m a big fan of Christmas being something that should make you feel happy. If being at home makes you happier than being at your parents, why would you go there?

To make them happy, I guess.

SpookyGiraffe · 21/09/2025 15:46

It's me, my DH and 1 DD, age 5. We are both big on family Christmas so we've tried to get a good balance because I also loved being at home at Christmas as a kid because everyone came to us.

So our tradition is pizza at ours with my parents on Christmas eve, they then stay overnight ready for Christmas morning.

Christmas morning at ours always, then alternating years, we either host my parents for Christmas dinner and then go to my parents at around 6pm for Christmas tea with my siblings and their families or we have a late Christmas dinner (5pm) at the in-laws.

Both options mean we are at home most of the day but also get to see family, which is important to both of us. We then see my family boxing day (my mum does another Christmas dinner for all of us) and then chill out at home between Christmas and new year usually.

New year is always spent with friends.

GiraffesAtThePark · 21/09/2025 16:07

We stay at home until around 2pm so have the nice experience of waking up and opening presents in our home. We then go to parents where the children get their presents from their grandparents and we have food there and stay until children are tired.

I would like to spend the full day as it’s be nice and cozy. I also want to cook a nice meal. It’s nice having our dinner cooked for us but it’s not to my taste. I’m thinking of just doing the meal for new years.

ThatGreenFawn · 21/09/2025 16:09

Since dc have been born we've always had christmas at home. I'm more than happy to host but we don't go anywhere.
Some years its just us, some years we have a house full.

WilfredsPies · 21/09/2025 19:15

DelphiniumBlue · 21/09/2025 14:54

To make them happy, I guess.

Show quote history

Everything we do could be done with the intention of making someone else happy at our own family’s expense though. At some point, you have to draw a line and put your own family first.

Fearfulsaints · 21/09/2025 19:30

We tend to do family for lunch, but its different combinations and locations each year.

For me, I don't quite get the 'just us bubble thing' as it sounds like just a normal sunday to me, with gifts. But i think its good that people are doing what works for them.

AnyankaJenkins · 21/09/2025 20:54

We go to my Mum's, usually travelling on the 23rd/24th as I don't drive then returning on the 27th. She has a big house, does a great roast and my sisters are also there with their kids, it's fab. I'm a solo parent of a 5 and almost 1 year old, if we stayed here I wouldn't bother doing a roast and it would just feel like childcare all day, with my eldest probably resorting to TV. Whereas at Mum's, my 5 year old adores it as he has lots of cousins to play with, lots of adults wanting to cuddle the baby so I get a break and my mum likes doing the roast with no help so I get to chill out a bit and have some adult conversation, play board games with my teenage niblings with no guilt. Nursery is closed the next week so we get plenty of time to chill at home just the 3 of us playing with presents etc later.

This year I've passed my driving test so am thinking of doing Christmas Eve at home and going to Mums early on Christmas Day instead as I do like the idea of creating our own special xmas eve/stockings etc traditions - hopefully it'll be the best of both worlds.

I can see though that I would prob feel differently if I had a partner to help with entertaining kids/cooking roast and maybe if the kids were older and everything was a bit less full on. And if it were the option of in laws rather than my own extended family to be with.

PaddingtonBlah · 21/09/2025 22:38

Fearfulsaints · 21/09/2025 19:30

We tend to do family for lunch, but its different combinations and locations each year.

For me, I don't quite get the 'just us bubble thing' as it sounds like just a normal sunday to me, with gifts. But i think its good that people are doing what works for them.

Our Sundays are normally quite busy, with sporting fixtures, kids at or coming back from sleepovers or having friends here, homework, laundry and getting ready for the week ahead.

Christmas is a completely different zone of down time for us, and not even needing to look at the clock - eating when you fancy it, staying up late, lying in, watching TV or playing cards/board games into the evening with endless nibbles and not worrying about school or work the next day....I would never drink alcohol on a normal Sunday as there's always someone needing a lift or a job to do. If we have Christmas at home it's one of the only times I can really know I'm not going anywhere and won't need to drive the car.

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