Poncetastic Christmas 2025

[welikebeingcosy]

Added by MNHQ upon request:
OK, first of all, I know it's still September but we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.The days are getting shorter, the leaves are starting to brown, that can only mean one thing- it's time to ignore the waves of Halloween decor all over your local The Range and head to the woods to start picking your own holly for that perfect Kirsty inspired wreath.

We want homemade stuffing recipes perfected by November, the handmade crackers draped in the most delicate of embroidered ribbon, mantle pieces draped in the most Scandinavian of wooden carvings, specialised stamps for the personalised wrapping paper ordered by next week and the word craft to be your official middle name by new year.

Happy ponceing and may Nigel and Nigella's fairy lights guide you on your way to getting the last box of rosemary and sea salt crackers in your own personal Bethlehem.

I halve and stone a kilo of plums add about 300ml of red wine (but you could use your mulled wine) then I add a muslin bag of spices like cinnamon sticks, whole nutmeg and a few cloves, heat till the plum skins start to break down (about 10 mins) then take off the heat, remove the spice bag, then stir in about a kilo of sugar (doesn't need to be jam sugar as plums naturally high in pectin) then once the sugar has totally dissolved put back on the heat and bring to a rapid boil till it reaches setting point (about 15 mins). Supposed to get up to 104 degrees. or do the saucer in a freezer jam test. Stir regularly so it doesn't burn your pan like mine did a few weeks ago.

Then decant into sterilised jars. I think a kilo of plums did about 7 280ml jars. Also remove any of the foamy scum on top as then you'll get a clearer coloured jam.

That sounds really nice! Is it a kg of plums before stoned?

Yes - just buy a kilo of plums and whatever is left after you halve and stone them is what goes in the pan. They're currently cheap at Lidl I think around £2 for a kilo punnet. You could put less sugar in say 900 g as it should be 1/1 fruit/sugar ratio but i don't think its that specific.

Wonderful, thank you!

Arrggg fail try here.
Did Delia's mincemeat recipe, being clever put it on a slow cooker overnight instead of the oven as usual.
Woke up at an incredible smelling kitchen but when tried it it was incredibly bitter!
Had to bin the lot.
Any idea why? It was on low for about 8.5h
I will not give up and try again the traditional way though 🙂

Sorry to hear this. 3 hours is the recommended time, so anything over that is risky, even in a slow cooker on low, it's the process of accumulated heat over that length of time. I wouldn't risk anything overnight unless it's a massive joint of meat.

If you lived anywhere near me, I've bought too much dried fruit and have a ton of apples, so happy to share!

I don't have a slowcooker any more but found it surprising how hot it actually got, even on low. Sympathy @Lalanbaba hope it wasn't too hard to clean out.

Not the ponciest of places to get wrapping paper, but Next has a really nice selection. However, does anyone know if their paper has grid lines?

Looking at these photos online it doesn't look like it does, Crushing.

Grrrr ok. Thank you for looking

Dunelm do some lovely wrapping paper and it all has grid lines

https://www.dunelm.com/product/12m-navy-marble-wrapping-paper-1000269688?defaultSkuId=30974443

Making the most of the sunshine at home and doing lots of washing this weekend. Have finally found half an hour to sit and do some more embroidery with DCat for company.

Eww sorry about the random toe 😂

I’m considering doing mini hampers for gifts this year. Last year my Christmas gifting was woeful, I missed the mark with my parents and in-laws. I’m thinking a hamper and then a small handmade bauble each might do it.

DH and I did it years ago and it was very popular, but a lot of effort. So I might need to think about low effort hampers.

Thank you, will check it out next time I go in. Our denelm is next to the local hobby craft so it is always a fun outing 😁

@FurForksSake I was also thinking about hampers but worried about running out of time to make everything.
My low ish effort ideas were:
rocky road
granola
crackers for cheese
a bottle of wine in a knitted jumper/hat
mulled wine spices in a little drawstring bag
curry spice blends
fancy bread, sage & onion or a spiced fruit loaf
some elderflower fizz if it’s not rocket fuel by now

Think I’ve missed the boat on chutney already.

Thanks @PinballWizened great ideas!

Yes it does. I bought some recently. Lovely quality too and very wide.

This is good to know. Maybe get some tartan print so it doesn’t matter as much as a trial and then if it dos have guide lines it’s a bonus but if it doesn’t matter

Fruits have been stewing overnight. If only you could smell this picture 😂

Ahhh that is very kind of you!
I reached the conclusion that the dark brown sugar burnt giving the bitter taste.
Not to worry I made another batch today, in the oven.
It tasted delicious! I used whisky and cointreau instead of brandy and used some cranberries too!
I have 9 little jars now cooling down and my house smells amazing!

Next step will be making some mince pies for the freezer (we will bake some for quality control 👌)

Have people seen these Murano glass type baubles from John Lewis?

They are really lovely!

@DanceWithYourBalloon The smell of dried fruit marinating takes me right back to childhood Christmases, as does the smell of Christmas cake cooking.

@KingscoteStaff they are lovely!!