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Christmas

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Original poster

Thoughts on giving 'hand me downs' as presents?

46 replies

lynzmb · 21/12/2024 13:58

I had a massive clear out of DS6's books/toys etc and I'm considering wrapping some books as gifts for younger members of the extended family. My only concern is it feels a bit tight? They are in great condition - full sets of books that come in a bag etc and I think the kids would enjoy them. Would you have an issue with this?

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 21/12/2024 14:09

Honestly - yes. I think it’s for the parents to give their children second hand stuff as presents - we did when the DC were little, I’m all for charity shops, eBay, Marketplace etc - but I think I’d have been a bit taken aback if someone in my wider family had regifted them their children’s books.

Diplo · 21/12/2024 14:10

I have so much respect for this 😊
Perhaps it'd encourage this kind of thing to be adopted more too!

JaneandtheLaundry · 21/12/2024 14:11

I think it would be better to give them to the parents separately, in a bag, not wrapped.

WhateverThen · 21/12/2024 14:12

I think it’s absolutely fine. Massive snobbery to turn your nose up at a secondhand book!

MumChp · 21/12/2024 14:13

Ask the parents?

In our families the answer is that it's fine.

bohnerific69 · 21/12/2024 14:14

DS got a second hand game from a relative last year. They proudly announced they'd just got it out of the attic as he was opening it...🙄it pissed me off, it felt rude and like they couldn't be bothered to buy him something properly. It's different passing something down when it's not a present, no issue with that.

MumChp · 21/12/2024 14:14

SirChenjins · 21/12/2024 14:09

Honestly - yes. I think it’s for the parents to give their children second hand stuff as presents - we did when the DC were little, I’m all for charity shops, eBay, Marketplace etc - but I think I’d have been a bit taken aback if someone in my wider family had regifted them their children’s books.

My children love the books most from their cousins. Better than any book from a shop.

Floralnomad · 21/12/2024 14:16

I wouldn’t do this personally unless you actually cannot afford to gift new things .

dreamingofsun · 21/12/2024 14:16

I really hate getting stuff given to me for christmas that my MIL no longer wants. I would much rather have a present that was bought specifically for me.

Avatartar · 21/12/2024 14:17

Pass to the parents unwrapped and ask

SirChenjins · 21/12/2024 14:19

MumChp · 21/12/2024 14:14

My children love the books most from their cousins. Better than any book from a shop.

Show quote history

Mine used to love books handed down from older children in our family too - but they were just handed on as the older ones outgrew them, not given by their parents as Christmas presents. We did the same as our children outgrew their books but I wouldn’t have wrapped them as presents for other children.

MumChp · 21/12/2024 14:21

SirChenjins · 21/12/2024 14:19

Mine used to love books handed down from older children in our family too - but they were just handed on as the older ones outgrew them, not given by their parents as Christmas presents. We did the same as our children outgrew their books but I wouldn’t have wrapped them as presents for other children.

Edited
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OP isn't talking about gifts from parents to children is she?

Mickey79 · 21/12/2024 14:22

I’d just give the books to family members, unwrapped and in a carrier bag as an add on at this time of year. I wouldn’t wrap them up and use them as a Christmas present.

Original poster
lynzmb · 21/12/2024 14:23

MumChp · 21/12/2024 14:21

OP isn't talking about gifts from parents to children is she?

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No it would be to my cousin's LO.

OP posts:
LucyLocketLovesPollyPocket · 21/12/2024 14:24

Perfectly normal in my family. As long as they are something the child would enjoy.

SirChenjins · 21/12/2024 14:24

MumChp · 21/12/2024 14:21

OP isn't talking about gifts from parents to children is she?

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By parents to other children - as the OP (as a parent of children who have outgrown their books) is proposing to do.

WaitingForSummerSun · 21/12/2024 14:24

If it's something that my child would genuinely love/enjoy. A thoughtful gift. In good condition. Yes, more than happy.

Original poster
lynzmb · 21/12/2024 14:25

dreamingofsun · 21/12/2024 14:16

I really hate getting stuff given to me for christmas that my MIL no longer wants. I would much rather have a present that was bought specifically for me.

I totally understand this - feel it's maybe slightly different when I'd be passing on age-appropriate books to a child from a cousin that has outgrown them

OP posts:
MissSueFlay · 21/12/2024 14:26

Our family are absolutely fine with it, but I do ask the parents of DD's cousins if they are happy with it. I'd only do it with things that are in really good condition, but we've done it with books, clothes, games etc.

Not everything has to be new all the time, if it's a gift that the recipient will enjoy and it's given with love then it's fine, like hand-made gifts. More of this would help take the pressure off lower-earning families.

Original poster
lynzmb · 21/12/2024 14:26

Diplo · 21/12/2024 14:10

I have so much respect for this 😊
Perhaps it'd encourage this kind of thing to be adopted more too!

The overconsumption of this time of year makes me itch. I guess attempting to be a bit more conscious. Might wrap them up from DS lol 😂

OP posts:
MumChp · 21/12/2024 14:27

SirChenjins · 21/12/2024 14:24

By parents to other children - as the OP (as a parent of children who have outgrown their books) is proposing to do.

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I gave outgrown books to my cousins before I became a parent. How is that different?

My children (2 are university age) are very concerned about nature and enviroment. I think a lot of children and young people like these presents.

gamerchick · 21/12/2024 14:28

The only thing that would make me pause is a kids excellent memory when it comes to their stuff and seeing other kids playing with it

SirChenjins · 21/12/2024 14:29

MumChp · 21/12/2024 14:27

I gave outgrown books to my cousins before I became a parent. How is that different?

My children (2 are university age) are very concerned about nature and enviroment. I think a lot of children and young people like these presents.

Show quote history

How is what different?

devongirl12 · 21/12/2024 14:29

I think it's absolutely fine and should be normalised.

People buy new stuff when there is perfectly good second hand, because they are worried about what others will think.

Well, the planet is a mess, we need to reuse stuff and stop mass consumerism.

And really that's what people should be thinking. And increasingly, will, I think. So I say absolutely go for it.

For books etc, a nice note saying "my kids loved these and I hope you will too." Perfect.

teenmaw · 21/12/2024 14:30

I think this should be normalized. Poverty on the increase and commercialization of Christmas getting silly - it needs reigned in.

I remember a lady giving my friends newborn baby a manky book from the charity shop as a gift and I was horrified but if it was in as new condition then great