Thoughts on giving 'hand me downs' as presents?

[lynzmb]

I had a massive clear out of DS6's books/toys etc and I'm considering wrapping some books as gifts for younger members of the extended family. My only concern is it feels a bit tight? They are in great condition - full sets of books that come in a bag etc and I think the kids would enjoy them. Would you have an issue with this?

It would only make me pause if they were obviously used... stickers on, name or dedication written on the front cover, pages well worn or drawn on etc.

Other than that I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

People say parents shouldn't gift cousins used stuff. I don't get it. Can non-parents do it? The book is the same?

Yes, exactly this.

You can get second hand tat and you can get brand new tat.

No one wants that.

Something that somebody would like is a great gift, whether it's new or secondhand.

Totally agree with this. In this instance it's a set of Spot the dog books in a little backpack thing. I think I'll wrap that and see if they want any of the rest (unwrapped)

I’m saying that as a parent I wouldn’t give my child’s outgrown books as a Christmas present to another child, I would simply hand them on through the year. As a parent I was very happy to choose second hand stuff for the DC, but that was my choice - I looked to see what they wanted/needed and went from there.

Presumably the OP bought the books new for her DC.

I would give them away to relatives as a added extra but not wrapped as a bday or Xmas present. Unless you're happy receiving charity shop stuff tatt for next Xmas as payback from the recipients , don't do it!

Or, we'll all be reading a thread on here on 26th Dec from someone complaining their tight fisted aunt/cousin etc gave them used second hand stuff.

Fair enough. It's a normal thing to do in our families.

They were actually passed on to us now I think about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

As a Christmas present?

If it's something you really think they'd like and it's in decent condition, I think it's great. I often ask / tell people who want to gift things to my dc to buy second hand.

If it's obvious damaged or not something they'd like and you're passing it on more for your own benefit to declutter then I wouldn't. In this scenario I'd just ask the parents if they want it some other time.

Haha no - I get your point..but I wouldn't have been bothered if they were.

Which is absolutely fine - and if you know the other parents would also be fine with it then go for it.

My DD (7) has wrapped up and given her younger cousins some of her books she has outgrown each Christmas. This has been alongside the cousins actual present from all of us. I wouldn't do it as their only gift, but it's cute coming from DD and she has often read the books to them upon giving.

I’m extremely eco conscious and thrifty but this is just plain tight. Fine to give them not as a gift and a ‘hand me down’, but not as a gift. Also shows zero thought was put into it too,

Give then cash instead if you’re worried about over consumption, they can use towards something that they want or an experience.

if there are genuinely no issues with money it does look tight to wrap hand me downs as new gifts. no issue with passing them on, but not as a christmas/birthday gift.

I think this is the path we'll go down! Thank you. Eyeing up Duplo as well so this will be a little extra from DS.

If your DS is 6 then the children you’re giving stuff to are really little. My kids would never have noticed the difference between new toys and second hand toys at that age. Most of their stuff was second hand and they loved all of it. In fact, the second hand toys were often better quality, as toy quality is diminishing.

However, judging by the snobby replies from people on here saying that second hand stuff is insulting, you should probably check with the parents first. If they’re so far up themselves they don’t want their kids to touch something their cousins have touched, then I'm sure plenty of charity shops would be grateful for it.

I think it's great to pass on things to other members of the family or to charity. Except that it feels a bit like you are using Christmas as an excuse to get rid of them when you'd probably still give them away for free if it was another time of year.

If they are in great condition then why not!
People are so wasteful now days.
I haven't bought a single toy or item of clothing for my 3rd. Everything has been given or got from charity.. and I often get compliments on how immaculate she looks all the time.
And all of it is second hand!
Her Christmas presents this year I got for completely free from a Facebook buy nothing group. Beautiful wooden play sets and a gorgeous old rocking horse.

My eldest is 10 and I have bought him some brand new bits as he wanted specific things.

But my 6yo and 10mnth old daughters have got mostly second hand things.

I think it's lovely to pass them on. However, I think it should be in addition to rather than in lieu of the present that you were intending to buy, unless money is a major issue and this is the only present you can afford to give. Otherwise, you're effectively selling them to them for the cost of their present. Used unwanted toys, books and clothes are generally passed on to family members and friends free of charge in my world and not instead of buying Christmas or Birthday presents.

Yes it's tight. You give them your clear out stuff for free or you decide to sell or donate it elsewhere. Your DC are sure to see it at some point and comment that they used to have it.

If you're totally broke and this is all you can give, that's different. Nobody should go into debt for Christmas presents.