Can I retract an invitation?

[Festivefauxpas]

So I’ve made a bit of a balls up with how many people I’ve invited over for Christmas Day this year.

I’m not sure what planet I was on when I said it but in my head I felt like the jolly hostess, the more the merrier!

However, actually looking at the logistics of how many I can actually fit in my house and around 3 tables (2 pushed together for the adults in my small kitchen, where I’ll also be cooking, 1 separate for children in lounge where there will also be a large tree, a pram and baby stuff plus Xmas present chaos), I think I’ve made a bit of an over calculation and it’s just going to be really chaotic and crowded for people, not to mention what it will do to my stress levels!

So the question is, how can I politely in some way admit my error and uninvite people (these are all family members) or is that hideously, hideously rude and I’m just going have to make it work somehow?

Golly, I really don't see how you can uninvite- it would seem terribly rude.

Yep, you can't uninvite for Xmas... At most maybe chat to people about contributions and logistics and quietly hope that some of them pull out??

You shouldn't be cooking everything... Get guests to bring dishes/courses, outsource to Aldi/M&S, put various guests on dishes duty and similar. Share the load!

You can't uninvite people! Make it work - maybe a buffet style Christmas lunch rather than all sat round a table?

My parents have a tiny house and my mother squeezed 24 people in for Christmas dinner one year when we were younger - granted, there was barely any standing room in the house around the tables and chairs, and one of my cousins was practically sitting in the Christmas tree, but she made it work!!

(I would be stressed to death if I had to host like that myself, I admit...)

Do you have to do the whole sit down roast Christmas dinner? Would they be disappointed if you didn't?

If not, I've previously done a Xmas buffet with sliced roast turkey and ham, roasted the day before, with lots of salads, breads, etc, but most with a bit of a Chrismas theme. Pretty much everything you'd normally have was there, just in a cold buffet format. It can be laid out and people can graze all afternoon as and when they wish.

It went down incredibly well with the guests (who knew beforehand so weren't disappointed) particulary those who were going to end up having several lots of Christmas dinner with various other family members over the holiday. Also with older family members with smaller appetites.

I think it would be really rude to uninvite people. I'd either go for a buffet type affair and ask people to contribute, or allocate different dishes to different people.

Depends on the family - mine are very laid back and chilled and wouldn’t bat an eyelid about it (they’d be understanding at least) BUT I would say something sooner rather than later to give people chance to sort themselves.

I would a) be honest and apologetic and say what you’d said here that you’ve just realised the logistics are against you. Offer a lower key gathering together another day maybe minus all the cooking?

b) be honest about your worries and so ask for solutions; will people bring food? When they know the reality they may simply decline the invite - but you’ve given them a choice to attend an help or make their own plans.

Do you have a garden? Put the pram outside with the rain cover on it.

Make sure all your guests are aware that it will be very crowded so they can back out if they're unhappy. Cook any food you like - if it's not traditional Christmas dinner that's fine so long as you warn the guests. Ask them to bring dishes to contribute if you like.

Then crack on and make the best of it.

Try and manage the clutter, it’s just for 1 day, baby stuff upstairs in the bedroom, do gifts early and clear away paper and tidy them all up. Pushchair can stay outside or in the car, your guests can clear away their gifts and store them in cars or bags on the bedroom etc.

Buffet rather than a sit down?

Warn them that there will need to be two sittings for dinner. Some of them may decide to drop out at that point.

I would make it work move furniture around put some stuff upstairs if necessary. Like a PP said do you need the pram in the sitting room or can I go outside, in the shed, etc, it’s only temporary.

I would have a chat with some who might possibly be the easiest at not wanting to come and say that you've invited quite a lot but have now sat down and worked out the logistics of everyone says yes and it's going to be very difficult if it's a full house.

They may well feel relieved at being given the option not to attend as after all, who wants to be crammed in.

How many?

Eeek... It is a bit rude to uninvite people now. I think I'd go with other posters, either a buffet style meal or tell them it will be two sittings as you've miscalculated the space. Good luck OP! 🎄

Bring a dish?

You can't uninvite, but do you have to have a table set up? What about a more relaxed afternoon?

Some suggestions:

• pram to be moved out to the garage/car
• switch to a picnic blanket for the kids and maybe pizzas for the kids depending on how old they are
• everyone brings a course
• buy pre-prepared stuff or prepare as much as you can ahead of time

@Lemonadeand has made good suggestions. I don't think you can uninvite now.

Is there room for some of the adults to sit and have dinner on their laps. Some people prefer this.

You can’t uninvite. You’ll need to make it work and ask for help if needed.

Tell them to bring something to ease the burden. Even if they need to bring folding chairs, crockery etc from home. Just tell them it's going to be cosy and busy so if you could do xyz to help...
I'd say at this point uninviting someone would be social suicide!

No.

Simplify EVERYTHING - furniture, menu....... keep it simple.

Ask some of the guests to bring a dish.

Prepare ahead.

Buy some ready-made food.