Can I retract an invitation?

[Festivefauxpas]

So I’ve made a bit of a balls up with how many people I’ve invited over for Christmas Day this year.

I’m not sure what planet I was on when I said it but in my head I felt like the jolly hostess, the more the merrier!

However, actually looking at the logistics of how many I can actually fit in my house and around 3 tables (2 pushed together for the adults in my small kitchen, where I’ll also be cooking, 1 separate for children in lounge where there will also be a large tree, a pram and baby stuff plus Xmas present chaos), I think I’ve made a bit of an over calculation and it’s just going to be really chaotic and crowded for people, not to mention what it will do to my stress levels!

So the question is, how can I politely in some way admit my error and uninvite people (these are all family members) or is that hideously, hideously rude and I’m just going have to make it work somehow?

Agree with everybody else pram elsewhere with as much baby stuff as possible , ask your guests to bring starters or desserts ( some of each) and buy ready prepped for mains .

Don't uninvite, you'll make it work. Picnic on the floor for the kids, ask people to bring a dish, make what you can ahead of time, pram upstairs or folded in the car

Feed children first?
Buffet for adults.
Bring-your-own-folding chair might put a few people off.
Ask for contributions and don't cook anything that needs carving.
Really don't see how you can uninvite and it actually sounds fun (unless they are staying over????_

I don't think you can uninvite at this late stage. People will have turned down other offers and be potentially left spending Christmas alone. I think you'll have to suck it up for this year.

Unless you invite everyone, you'll be massively unfair.

I remember one childhood Christmas with so many people that one of the tables was a door on trestles. Folding camping chairs. Had to be lots of mucking in to help. Bloody brilliant.

It would be rude to uninvite people OP and you really should think before inviting next time... how many have you invited versus how many you think you have room for?

You could mention when you speak to them you've invited X people so kids will sit on the floor or whatever but it's family surely you can make it work?

Oh Dear!!

At this stage so near Christmas, I really don't think you can pull the invitations. How do you decide who you uninvite for starters? That of itself could cause ructions.

What I think you could do is say that you didn't think it through and that you hope they don't mind, but due to the numbers it will have to be done as a buffet? (Possibly say to them that you are looking forward to seeing everyone, but will understand if anyone is disappointed that it will be a buffet and want to do something else? But you need to be careful how you word that bit, or maybe not say it - I'm not sure) Some might then voluntarily decide to do their own thing instead?

Can you not put all the tables in the lounge and stick the pram out of the way? Then you've got a clear kitchen at least. It'll be a squash for a few hours but I can't see how you can uninvite people.

I think it sounds amazing. Chaos ,fun, laughter, core memories for your children, sitting on deck chairs... growing up i have memories of me and all my cousins sleeping on the floor at new year in my aunty and uncles wee house. Xmas with children, babies, much joviality, aunties all ( interfering) trying to help. Now im grown up its just me, husband and 2 grown children. Me and all my cousins have been reminiscing on groupchat recently. We hardly see one another now except for at funerals. Don't cancel, go with the flow, breathe and smile.

In contrast, I couldn’t think of anything less fun than being crammed in for a long hot stuffy day. If you had a quiet word with me, I’d happily withdraw! It’s only mid November - pleeenty of time to make alternative plans.

It's Christmas- don't uninvite but be clear about your set up is so people know and can decide if it'll work for them. (They probably have already figured out it'll be tight if they've seen your house and know who's coming- and honestly, nobody cares!)
Send a message out- Hi everyone, so looking forward to hosting you all at Christmas- when I invited I actually didn't imagine you'd all come lol Delighted you can all make it- but have realised I'm xyz short if anyone can help by bringing a couple of folding chairs and perhaps a little desert it would be a big help. We'll be a bit cramped around my little table and kids will be in the lounge but we will make it work and have a ball!

I hosted 14 in a space really only suitable for 6. But we made it work, it was great fun and nobody minded (I don't think!)

This has reminded me of a fab Christmas where we had invited too many people, decided we would hire a massive gas heater and put up a party tent/marquee. Everyone had to keep moving round the table because those near the heater were boiling and those away from the heater were freezing. We have a bigger house now and I miss those days!!

This has reminded me of a fab Christmas where we had invited too many people, decided we would hire a massive gas heater and put up a party tent/marquee. Everyone had to keep moving round the table because those near the heater were boiling and those away from the heater were freezing. We have a bigger house now and I miss those days!!

I would send the same text to people, but individually - something like this:
'Hiya, just been doing a bit of early Christmas planning today and realised that we will have x people at the house in total so some people may be on camping chairs! Just wanted to give everyone a heads up and to say in advance that I absolutely won't be offended if you don't fancy staying the full day after lunch, as I'm aware it's a tight squeeze and will also have x kids running round! Looking forward to seeing you all, please let me know if there's any favourite snacks I can get in'

I think outlining very clearly just how many people you will be cramming in, and giving a bit of an 'out' in relation to the space issue will get at least one person to think twice!

We had one Christmas like that. It did all work out, thanks to a couple of things:

1. My young DS got a toy that needed building, and all the men piled into our tiny garden to supervise the build.

2. We had an afternoon walk.

Are there fewer kids than adults attending? Is it possible to switch things around so that adults can sit in the living room with a combination of table seating and sofa seating?

I think making it work is part of the charm of Christmas and I wouldn't want to uninvited now!

I'd definitely also do the suggestions on this thread that reduce your need to be in the kitchen as much as possible.

How many people are we talking?

I mean up to 18 (including children) you can probably manage but if you've accidentally invited 30 you will probably have to rethink.

Start having this conversation with them - what the hell was I thinking, how on earth am I going to make it work? If they have good suggestions and offers of help ensure, then it will be jolly. If they are awkward and demanding, then problem solved, you can uninvite them for rudeness.

Ask them all to bring a folding chair and their own tray and cutlery?!

This sounds like my childhood Christmases and I really miss them. 🥰 People ^ food and logistics

It’s too late, imo, to tell people they don’t have plans for Christmas.

Forget a roast

Do a massive buffet instead

Kids will love pizzas and brownies for pud so will the adults

Marquee in the garden with heaters.
Feed children first
Everyone is allocated to bring a course each. You just do the main dish only. Prepared in advance..

Yep, you’ve left it too late to uninvited people now.