I just wanted to add something to reassure any parents who might be reading this thread and feeling bad/inadequate because they can't afford to do a fraction of these things with their children....
Children don't NEED expensive holidays and ice skating and numerous visits to see Santa in different venues. Some children enjoy events and experiences like that - sure - and often it's the parents who enjoy them more I think! And if you can comfortably afford it and love doing it, and your kids cope well with it, fair play, I have nothing against it of course.
BUT children are JUST as excited by lots of festive things that are cheap or free.
Just a few ideas that you can do that are cheap or free, and will probably be just as appreciated by your kids as expensive day trips or holidays:
- if you want to do a Santa visit (it's not compulsory) try to find a local fete where he might appear for freez or a shopoing centre grotto or whatever - children won't care whether he is on an Insta-worthy steam train or not.....
-decorate your tree together, even if it's a tiny one, even if the baubles are from a charity shop or Poundland, makes no difference. Make it a fun family event.
- chance to spend time with extended family and friends if possible
- chance to have some special meals/snacks and eat some of their favourite foods (doesn't have to be lavish or expensive)
;- maybe a party at school or in the local community if you can find one, but don't worry if not;
- sing some carols at home, or even take them to a carol service at a church if you are Christian, or even if you aren't but enjoy candle light and carols - indeed many churches will have free events for kids around Christmas, maybe Christmas crafts etc.
- Do some Christmas baking together if you can afford the ingredients - even the simplest biscuit recipes taste festive with a bit of cinnamon.
- a bit of Christmas craft at home - even the good old snowflake doillie things, or paper chains can be a real winner
- Christmas films and shows on TV, watched together as a household
- Christmas books (remember libraries and charity shops can be your friend here - and your local library might hold some events for kids too!
When I my own daughter was young I felt quite insecure as a mother and put a LOT of pressure on myself to organise and book a lot of expensive events for my daughter around Christmas - I don't have very fond memories of any of them, as she mostly found them somewhat crowded and a bit overwhelming. She cried pretty much every time she saw Santa I think!
I WISH somebody had told me to stop doing stuff simply because I thought it would make me look like a bad mother if I didn't, and instead to actually consider the things I knew my child really would enjoy, and do those instead..... Social Media and Comparison are the thieves of joy, however.
As a child myself I fucking LOVED Christmas, and there wasn't an organised event in sight, apart from the church crib service on Christmas eve which I adored, and if we were lucky my mate's mom took me and my brother to a free local Christmas craft fair that we loved. But my happiest memories of all are at home, watching TV or playing as a family, or being round at family and friends' houses.
And that's honestly not meant to sound critical to those who do loads of expensive organised stuff - I really do hope you and your kids have a fabulous time doing it! But it's not for everyone, and it's not compulsory (if you are reading this and feeling shitty that you can't afford this stuff).