If you have adult children living at home, how do you do Christmas?

[scoopoftheday]

Hi,

Just as the title says really 😊

I've two adult children who still live at home, one is 23 and one will be 20 in the weeks after Christmas.

Up until now we've always done what we did when they were little, laid gifts (unwrapped) on the sofa for them to get up to on Christmas morning and they've always had lots of gifts.

This year I have told them I'm wrapping their gifts and they're going under the tree.

I'd like a different kind of Christmas now they're grown up but the eldest (dd) isn't happy about it... she's always been a "Christmas is magic" sort and even though she is sensible and mature in other ways, she is adamant she wants gifts unwrapped on the sofa on Christmas morning for as long as she lives at home...

I have sisters who still do this for their adult children (it's how we did Christmas growing up too but I left home at 19)

I'm interested in how other people do it and how I can change how things are done here.

Thanks in advance 😊

I think I misunderstood your OP, didn't realise it was Santa gifts only. None of DH's presents were wrapped, they were all just piled on the sofa which I do think is a bit strange.

I understand your reasoning, the childhood pattern worked with dependent children, these are now adults sharing your house and should be exchanging gifts with you.
Another reason for making changes is that if something forces an unwelcome change it is less drastic if Christmas has evolved.

OP mine had unwrapped presents on the sofa when they were growing up (DH's family's tradition). I started wrapping them once they were late teens and the piles got smaller. They still get a stocking too with small things in it, chocolate coins etc. So it's much the same as when they were young, but fewer, smaller, less expensive presents.

Northern Irish here and our Santa presents always were unwrapped too and displayed on the sofa/an armchair. Same with everyone I knew!

We do things as they have always been. They all still get advent calendars and bedding, PJs on Xmas Eve etc. now we have 4 grandchildren too, who also get the same. I thought their parents might want to take over with their own ideas but they like me doing it!!

I have made a few changes - things that make my day nicer, so I do a menu that works for me and anyone else adds in what they want for dinner etc.

Oh, they do buy us gifts too.

Last year they got us vouchers for our favourite hotel, so it's not a case of them not buying back.

I find it odd that so many adult children want to be treated like little children at Christmas. They’re adults with jobs. They don’t get lots of expensive gifts or a free three course meal cooked for them. They need to chip in, cook, wash up and behave like adults.

Much the same as when they were small, but with added hangovers. Mine were never getting up at 3 am type of kids. So up when everyone gets up, stockings in their bedrooms (too big to pile on to our bed to open them) bacon butties, then open presents. Dds Dutch bf is fascinated by english Christmas as theirs is much more low key.

Mine are 29 and 30. Everything about Christmas is the same as when they were babies . We love It as it is .

My DC are 33, 30, 28 & 19 and I still do Stockings (inc for their partners & my DGC) then we have presents under the tree that we open through the day, then we keep the main gift, to be opened at dinner.

My middle 2 no longer live at home, so will open their Stockings and gifts whilst visiting or we visit them.

Got rid of stockings when they left primary. We have them up for the pets now - really just decorative for the mantle (they are cross stitched with each pets name). I never had stockings growing up.
Until a couple years ago my youngest (now19) always insisted on the presents appearing overnight, whereas I like the look of the presents under the tree as and when they are wrapped. I finally won that battle!

The DCs are no longer living at home, but they come home for Christmas.

I leave gifts unwrapped under the tree for Christmas morning just as I always have done.

Since they all started earning money from part time jobs as teens and especially since they got jobs after graduating, we've adapted the family tradition of opening gifts from godparents and a cousin secret Santa on Christmas Eve. We now do a family gift exchange where everyone gets a gift for everyone else, after a festive meal. I get a gift from each one too.

Irish here, and I've never wrapped the Santa presents.

Any gifts sent by friends or relatives, and gifts for the gift exchange are left under the tree, wrapped, and opened on Christmas Eve.

We just all put the presents under the tree and have done since the youngest was 18. We then spend the day taking turns giving out our gifts with gaps in between. After dinner, we play games. I love Adult Christmas! But will also be equally happy to go back to Magic Childhood Xmas when they have children.

Speaking as the chief cook and washer up, I can tell you that nothing gets on my tits like well meaning family members 'helping' with cooking on Christmas Day or any other festive occasion, and please don't get me started on 'helping with the washing up'. I am a champion dishwasher stacker and can fit plates, glasses, cutlers, serving forks and spoons, saucepans, and baking dishes for a full Christmas meal for six adults into one load. I also have my methods and timings for cooking dinner down to a science.

One of my DCs cooks a big brunch for us all early in the day, cleans up afterwards, fills the dishwasher and empties it when it's done, and the others set and clear the table twice, take out the bin late in the evening (we eat dinner around 7pm), and sweep the floors.

I wake the next day to a clean kitchen and dining room, and empty the dishwasher. Bliss.

Wrapping so many presents (usually on xmas eve) took me forever when my kids were young.

I grew up in Liverpool. I was one of 5 and all our presents were unwrapped on the sofa/chairs/floor in a well-thought out pile. My parents would have had to spend days wrapping otherwise! It was still magical. No-one was allowed to go downstairs until we were all awake. All 5 of us would gather with mum and dad at the top of the stairs at about 6am and the excitement was intense.

We did this and my parents did this. Santa never wrapped

I do stockings for mine, and since moving in with dp, we do stockings for his 2 as well with little fun gifts like socks, lip balm, bracelets etc. they then get gifts under the tree for after lunch with the rest of us. This year I'm not seeing mine as they are at their other halves

My two adult children living at home are autistic so routines that they have had since childhood are important to them. All gifts are wrapped and arrive Christmas morning. Obviously they know that I put them out Christmas Eve now rather than Father Christmas but it happens just the same. They get up in time for their father and siblings and nephew to arrive. Presents are opened in age order as they did as children. I warm pastries, make toast, tea and coffee with an eye on the present opening which they eat on the hoof. They play with grandson, look at their own presents and disappear to their rooms for a bit if it gets overwhelming. We eat dinner mid afternoon together. Afterwards they have their stockings which were used to keep ds at the table as a child and now none of them will have it any different so they are hung on the dining room chairs as they always were. We tend to play board games afterwards until all the visitors leave. Ds disappears upstairs and dd and I will watch the soaps.

I have a teen and two adults. Everyone who stays here on Christmas Eve gets new pyjamas that magically appear in a Christmas Eve hamper with a bath bomb for each ‘child’ l, a box of posh chocolates and a bottle of something to share.

We do Christmas stockings and gifts are wrapped and under the tree. I usually put out a couple each in the lead up to Christmas and then add the rest before bed for the added ‘wow’ on Christmas morning. They probably get between 8-10 wrapped gifts each.

Well my dc are the same - they want things to stay the same as they have for all of their childhoods!

I have always wrapped all of the presents - have done stockings and tree presents and I still do that. (and this is what I grew up with too).

Well, my adult kids still believe in Father Christmas, so obviously everything has to stay the same......

Ours is still much the same. Most of the presents get wrapped and put under the tree, but not until late on Christmas Eve otherwise they work out what they are! They don’t have as many gifts now but that’s because they have more expensive things. Eldest could buy whatever he wanted, but it doesn’t take away the magic of opening gifts on Christmas morning! We all do it together as soon as we get up, which thankfully is later than it used to be!

We put the presents under the tree. We follow our Christmas timetable which was established when the kids were small. Present unwrapping with mince pies and coffee.

The breakfast scrambled eggs with smoked salmon with bucks fizz.

Lunch is usually a few nibbles to keep us going til dinner. As there's only 3 of us most years we tend to do something different for dinner. Stand out ones have been Peking duck and a roast lamb with Indian sides from our favourite takeaway.

Then we watch Christmas films and carry on drinking