If you have adult children living at home, how do you do Christmas?

[scoopoftheday]

Hi,

Just as the title says really 😊

I've two adult children who still live at home, one is 23 and one will be 20 in the weeks after Christmas.

Up until now we've always done what we did when they were little, laid gifts (unwrapped) on the sofa for them to get up to on Christmas morning and they've always had lots of gifts.

This year I have told them I'm wrapping their gifts and they're going under the tree.

I'd like a different kind of Christmas now they're grown up but the eldest (dd) isn't happy about it... she's always been a "Christmas is magic" sort and even though she is sensible and mature in other ways, she is adamant she wants gifts unwrapped on the sofa on Christmas morning for as long as she lives at home...

I have sisters who still do this for their adult children (it's how we did Christmas growing up too but I left home at 19)

I'm interested in how other people do it and how I can change how things are done here.

Thanks in advance 😊

I was going to ask if you are Irish, as we did Santa the same way. Each kid had a chair and Santa left your bundle on your chair unwrapped.

We do Christmas the same as always for adult DD. Although I do now wrap them but they are left out in a bundle on her chair Christmas Eve night and we all go downstairs early to see what Santa had brought.
All other gifts are wrapped and under the tree.

See,that's so utterly lovely.

For my dds we still do a stocking each first thing (about 9.30am!) then main presents under the tree later in the morning. All wrapped

For what it's worth OP it's fine to want to start to make some changes to suit yourself on Christmas Day now that your DC are adults. Some adult DC are still living at home at 40+ and you can't wait indefinitely for Christmas Day to start to suit you as well.

We've asked our adult DC who are both now working to please buy 2/3 stocking fillers for each other person in the family - especially as one is bringing her boyfriend for Christmas and we couldn't leave him out of a stocking... We will still buy the bulk of stocking fillers, but it seemed fair to share the load a little. I don't want to stop doing stockings all together, they still appreciate the useful or daft bits and pieces I pick up over the year. I've suggested they buy books or whatever from charity shops, or make something - sweets or similar, so don't need to spend much. DD said she may well pass on books to me she has read and thinks I will enjoy.

They do help out with the cooking etc, but all the present buying makes me increasingly stressed.

another one absolutely confused at unwrapped presents in the first place, but even more at that somehow being 'more' magical!

I was going to say if there was no reason to change it, don't, but absolutely have the conversation about now they are older and working it's not fair for you to spend as much money on them as when they were young, but from your update it seems your DD accepts that anyway in fairness to her and just wants to keep the tradition, which is fair enough (even if it sounds mad to me).

So unless you have a real desire for wrapped presents under the tree just stick to the usual tradition (at least it's less work and better for the environment!) but make them aware in advance there won't be piles of expensive stuff going forward. Maybe pad it out with random things like sweets, socks, deodorant, lottery scratchcard, etc.

If you wanted to do something different could you maybe to a £5/10 or equivalent family secret santa that is wrapped, or 'best wrapped' award when each of you wraps just on present for someone else and you judge on most decorative/most creative?

Everyone gets a small stocking, tangerine, novelty, £1 coin, something nice and some cash ( now that they're older, in 20s) I didn't want them to have the burden and stress of having to buy lots of gifts, I want Xmas to be fun so we do a secret Santa and the gifts are under the tree. They decide on the group chat how much we spend. Its a really good laugh. I love hearing them in the morning with their stockings shouting from their bedrooms " I have a tangerine! I have (novelty) pants! With pretend excitement like their little, and so on. We laugh all day.

I've just had a reminder my dc is 20 and over the summer he cleared his room of things he didn't need or even like. It's been a bit hard as beautiful books clothing labels on are being donated this week. He doesn't need all this stuff and Christmas present will be just little treats this year.

It's alright, I assume, when only adults are around.

I’m Scottish and we did the same - the big present from Santa is unwrapped and besides the armchair, wrapped gifts from family and friends under the tree.

I think your right to change it, we’ll be changing it now by youngest knows about Santa. All the presents will be under the tree and wrapped as Santa won’t be leaving anything. Their main gifts will be from me.

🤣 one of their quirks... unless you're married to one of my four weird brothers? 🤣🤣

Nobody I knew growing up, including dh and he had a different upbringing to me, had their Santa presents wrapped.

How do you wrap a bike anyway? Or a keyboard and stand?

Everything was ready to be played with, batteries in, built etc.

@scoopoftheday You put it all together and buy a present sack or use extra wide paper / wrap in sections. Our bikes, dolls houses etc were always put together and wrapped

DDs Santa present was always wrapped in a separate colour paper which matched any wrapped presents in the stocking.

Very sensible to do fewer presents. On the wrapping I’d just stick with what they want- also unwrapped is less work for you!

I’m 40 and my mum does me a stocking and a sack. All wrapped. I’m essentially a large child.

Irish here and we always got unwrapped presents on sofa. I used to be jealous of my friends getting theirs wrapped as thought santa preferred them 🤣 so we wrap here

Baffled at unwrapped presents chucked on the sofa being more magical than wrapped and arranged under the tree.

Well, how about you keep the old tradition for her, and she starts a new tradition for Mum? Like give Mum a great present and a posh breakfast 😁

We didn't label everything as a 'tradition" like many on MN do.

There were 3 of us kids and there would be two piles on the sofa for my brothers and I'd get the armchair.

There'd be a mixture of mostly unwrapped and a few wrapped presents. No point in wrapping the Bunty annual I knew I'd get!

So it doesn't seem odd to me. We were so excited to see our pile on Xmas morning! However, my DH insists on wrapping every last thing we get the DC and it just seems such a waste to me.

Because it differentiates them from other gifts.

Santa does not wrap and leaves in a bundle on Christmas Eve. All other gifts were wrapped and under the tree, I’m guessing that’s what OPs DD is referring to when reference the magic as it’s reminiscent of childhood and Santa.

they weren’t chucked on a sofa, they were sort of displayed. sometimes they were put into large Santa bags, but always unwrapped.

Pretty sure the reason no Santa presents were wrapped when I was growing up was there was 8 of us and we got really large bundles from Santa, at least 10+ gifts at least one large gift, e.g bike, musical instrument, dolls house etc. absolutely no way we’re my parents wrapping all that up, nor would they have fitted under the tree.

Because it differentiates them from other gifts
This is what labels are for.

I find unwrapped gifts bizarre.

Why would they need a label. ? The big pile of toys and gifts were from Santa, no label required.

Different strokes for different folks, hardly a big deal is it. ?
Every year this topic comes up ‘ does Santa wrap’ and it tends to be a 50/50 split.

Agree, they shouldn't be able to dictate, especially if you are doing all the work and spending.

Wrap all but one, as a compromise?

We always did stockings in morning and wrapped presents after lunch.

There were 10 of us and I know my mam wouldn't have had time to wrap them all or have afforded the wrapping paper 😁

But there was just dh and his sister and they still didn't get theirs wrapped.

Gifts from other people were wrapped.

I don't want to stop buying them gifts, I enjoy buying them gifts, but as they get older it just seems pointless buying for the sake of it.

They always get stockings on their bedroom door too, they have chocolate coins, fancy hand-wash, book vouchers (dd) and always always a charity donation of some sort (a year's education for a girl in Africa for dd for example and farm animals to help a family start a business for ds) dd especially likes those (ds genuinely couldn't give a shit as long as he gets a reeses selection box)

Anyway I think we're going to keep it as it is for now, "santa" gifts unwrapped on the sofa, stocking opened on our bed and then all 4 of us traipse to the living room with dh going in first to make sure Santa isn't still there.....

(And two years ago ds actually said "I can't wait til we're doing this on Christmas day with our weeones... I had to tell him he and them wouldn't be living here,.they'd have a home of their own...)🤣🤣🤣