Match cost or match presents

[17caterpillars1mouse]

I have 2 dds who will be 8.5 and just turned 6 at Christmas.

We are trying to cut down number of presents and I have made a rough ideas list however dd8s present ideas are all quite pricey, where as the things dd6 likes are all pretty cheap.

Both still believe on Santa and he brings all the gifts from us.

The difference in cost is probably around £90. Would it be better to buy dd6 a few more gifts to get the costs nearer (there is lots more sleep would like) or is it more important to match the number of presents?

We also have a baby but they don't need much and have no idea of costs so happy to match number of gifts with useful presents

I try to make their 'piles' look reasonably similar, there's no point wasting £90 on extras for the sake of equality. Obviously if one person's pile is made of crayons and colouring books and the other has an iPad and a phone in it (extreme examples!) then that's not a good look, but just get them looking vaguely similar, they won't have too much idea of cost at that age anyway, they're just hoping to get the things that they really want!

My parents always just made sure both of us had similar “piles”. They won’t know or add up how much it all costs, as long as both have an equal amount to open.

Under 10ish, match the piles. When they're more aware of costs/brands, then start to have the conversation about budgets etc

I do a bit of both, I have a different busget amount for the older ones (10-15 years) and the younger ones have a smaller budget (3-6 years).

I try to spend roughly the same and keep the piles size roughly the same. I think for younger ones they don't really understand value, but may notice if someone looks like they have more of a pile. I expect they will be too excited to notice though.

You could put the presents into gift bags or sacks to make things look similar amounts.

I match number of presents, but that’s because DH and I always give the DC 3 presents - (plus one from the dog, he is very generous.)

I reckon budget evens out over the years.

Similar piles, but keep a mental note of disparity and over time try to keep things even.

I agree. This is what we used to do when ours were around that age.

Agree- Ive always done same number of gifts plus stocking. DD1 is now 11 and has very expensive designer tastes so we had a chat about it and she is happy to max her budget on one gift.

I should add Santa only brings the stocking of small gifts in our house so no issues there.

Match the gifts, kids don't understand cost like they do amount of gifts at that age

This is what I did/do.
Now one's an adult and two teenagers I get what they ask for and the difference (which can be sizable as dc3 never wants anything much) I give in cash, therefore not buying unwanted gifts for the sake of it.

If you want to make if ‘fair’ put some money in a savings acc for DD6 (but I don’t think you need to)

I've always done exactly the same number of presents as they take it in turns opening them so will be obviously if one is left with loads of turns at the end!

If you want to make it look a bit more even you could wrap some gifts thematically, like wrap colouring pencils and colouring book together for the one with more, cheaper gifts but separate everything for the one with fewer, more expensive gifts

I know it doesn’t particularly help but Father Christmas only brings the stockings in our house.

I would match quantity as much as possible if you can.

When my DC were small I matched price. In order to try to match number of gifts I just wrapped 2 things together if necessary. As they got older they had a budget. Each DC got 1 year each where they had extra for a much wanted gift but in different years. Also 1 DC has a mid December birthday so he sometimes wanted a larger gift for birthday and Xmas combined but I made him wait until Xmas to open it.

Piles, because sometimes I snag a bargain on some of the things we buy. That doesn't mean that that child then gets an extra present for me getting something for example, half price. If that makes sense.

I guess I'm feeling uneasy as dd1 wants lego, a switch game, a dragon board game which is around £30 and an expensive wizard cloak, whereas dd2 is happy with little squishville figures which are £10, a hugger elephant toy from aldi (£6.99) and any other gifts she likes are also around £10, it just seems such a difference

But when dd1 was the same age as dd2 she probably has gifts of the same value as dd2 wants this year. It's pointless spending money for the sake of 'fair' especially when it's not going to be understood

I agree with the general position to match size/piles/number of gifts, rather than cash value. However, I see your latest update about the values. If it was me, to make up the $ value, I might get some more gifts for DD2 to put aside and introduce in a month or two, on the basis that the gifts for DD1 are more long lasting (eg the Lego and switch game will probably be used for 12 months+) whilst DD2’s are more disposable and she will probably move through them more quickly. Alternatively, I might get some ‘family games’ but more aimed at DD2, or just mentally note the disparity and be more inclined to make it up over the year, as DD2 moves through the more juvenile toys.

Reading your update dd1 seems to have gifts to do and will occupy them long beyond Christmas day whereas dd2 is just cuddly toys. Does dd2 not want any games or something to play with?

She may love playing with the soft toys, if that's the case could you get some extras to enhance that imaginative play? You could wrap them together so it's still one gift if you are worried about the pile size difference.

At that age I'd match the presents. My 5 year old won't know how much anything costs, but will notice if she has one present and her sister has five, even if the costs are the same. It wouldn't bother me at all if one child had considerably less spent on them as long as they got equal enjoyment out of it and didn't feel hard done by.

I match both cost and amount.

I match the number of gifts, and have a vague sense of equality in what they are.

But if a book for one dd is half the price of a book for the other dd, I don't equalise it - they are both getting the same experience.

I used to try and keep the budget the same, but now I make sure the quantity is the same and ignore the price. It all balances out over time, and with age gaps like mine (5 children aged between 4 and 15) there's no way I could spend say £100 on the youngest and eldest and have what I would consider to be reasonable gifts for them both.