Gifts for men that are not shit (the gifts, not the men. But the men are nice too)

[ButterAsADip]

Why are they so impossible to buy for?

DH and I have shared notes on our iCloud that we add things we want onto, but I also want to get something that I’ve actually thought of myself as IMO that’s nice (when you get it right). And DH’s list consists of things like:
a miniature model of Noel Gallagher’s guitar,
some ‘old books’ (😵‍💫🤷🏻‍♀️),
a pool table or arcade game (we don’t have the space),
‘a non-cringey red wine decanter’ (don’t even know what a cringey decanter would be in order to avoid it, and he doesn’t often drink red wine).
One year 3 different people got him a harmonica, because he’s impossible to buy for and I guess that’s a default present? So odd 😄
He wants some Inside Number 9 scripts which I can do as he already has some of them. But again, they will just sit there collecting dust. It’s just stuff.
He did a bit of golf over the summer, and wants to take the kids more, but I don’t know whether to encourage that as I barely see him as it is, dread to think if he takes up golf!
Loves travel, has a guitar he should play more, loves any sport and just wants merch (signed things, tops, models, hockey pucks) but again it’s just stuff to put on a shelf?? Maybe I should just do it if that’s what he wants. But am fatigued after 16 years of this conundrum 😅

My dad - god knows. 65ish, a very lively and happy guy but doesn’t do a whole lot. Likes discussions, politics, plays guitar very well, likes his grandchildren, funny happy guy. I always just panic buy him some whiskey or a shirt, no idea if he drinks the whiskey but my mum says he likes it. Just so uninspiring!

Also on that note - mum present ideas? She always asks for No 7 Protect and Perfect 😐

‘a non-cringey red wine decanter’ eh?? That's so funny.

I'm getting my husband some gardening stuff as he wants to get into it next year

Football tickets or tickets to another sport he likes
Weekend break
Wine tasting/whisky course plus decanter
Cinema pass
Festival tickets
Gig tickets
Curry cooking course

I often go for tickets to a gig, can you keep an eye out for a band he likes? Or if he likes sport, tickets to some kind of event? Recently someone got DH a subscription where he gets a different whisky every month, he quite likes that.

I agree, the men in my life are ridiculously difficult to buy for 🙈

I used to do little hampers for my dad - Paxton & Whitfield stilton, posh shaving cream from the gentleman's outfitters on Jermyn Street, Gentleman's relish from Fortnum's - that kind of thing
Not a cheap option but bathrobes from this place are amazing and very luxurious - https://www.bathrobe.co.uk/
If your dad likes whisky then maybe an antique decanter?
Nice leather-bound copies of favourite books are always a good idea, try your local antiquarian bookshop
Tickets are also good, if your dh is into sport can you get him tickets to some live matches? Or a music festival/gig? Does he like cooking, would he be up for a course in butchery/barbecuing or something?
Subscriptions can also be good, dh loved his monthly bacon subscription for Xmas last year, from this place https://londonsmokeandcure.co.uk/

Leather boots -

www.oliversweeney.com/collections/boots

My mum always wants no7 protect and perfect as well, so this made me laugh!

I am also struggling with my boyfriend, we’ve been together two years and some of the gifts I’ve got him ( a framed print of a stack of CDs with ‘our’ songs written on the spine, tickets to a Russel Howard gig, a murder mystery night, a nice scarf) have been huge hits, he’s loved them and raves about them. But then other gifts (a mystery tour of our city, fancy kitchen knife, sweater) have landed flat and as much as he said he loved them, are still in their gift bags in our spare room 🤦🏻‍♀️ I find it so tricky as I’ve always genuinely thought he’d loved the gift choices but they can be so hit and miss. So I’m deffo here for the suggestions too!

With your parents, could you get them a joint experience? I used to get mine bits like toiletries, candles, books etc, and it all feels very “same old same old” but the last couple of years I’ve started buying them tickets to tribute shows, musicals, an overnight spa hotel erc, and they seem to really like these gifts!

A decent leather washbag.
A heavy luxurious winter dressing gown.
A nice cotton summer dressing gown
A man's cotton kimono.

The last three can be sourced at good quality from Tom, Dick and Harry.

After that, that's me stumped OP. 😊

Love the thread title. I think if you have men who are shit, then gift them novelty items from the Christmas gift section of the supermarket, like a big cardboard box with two bottles of lynx shower gel or the overpriced selection pack of mediocre miniatures.

@ButterAsADip

Could you ask the local golf club whether they offer a course of lessons with the resident Pro?

Even people I know who can play golf get coaching to help with their swing etc.

https://www.pgaplay.co.uk/find-a-golf-lesson/

If you can see any England football fixtures scheduled for next year once they are published, could you buy him some good tickets for a match he would like to see?

https://www.englandfootball.com/england/mens-senior-team/fixtures-results

I was also going to suggest getting him tickets for a match at his favourite team, but the problem with that might be that he supports a team like Arsenal - it's almost impossible to get tickets for the Emirates or even when they are playing away.

But guitar players are a godsend to buy for. You can buy capos, picks, auto-tuners, metal/wood/glass finger-slides, spare strings, a new guitar case, stand or wall hanger, new play books of songs, chords, techniques, or a gift voucher for a couple of masterclasses with a guitarist they admire. Some seriously good guitarists - quite famous ones - will give online 1-2-1 lessons for a fee. Or tickets to see a band or guitarist they admire. Or another guitar!

My husband always loves shower gel sets, aftershave, watches. He doesn't like sports, so I'm good there. Whiskey , Jack Daniels.
Do other ideas that don't cost money, romantic time with you ( watch what he wants), give him quiet time. Wear something he likes you wearing. If you have children have someone else babysit and go out , you pay and drive. Or they stay at grandparents and stay overnight. Buy him flowers and chocolate. Just make the time about him as he probably does for you. Hope this helps.

Why not try and combine a couple of his interests? If you are going on holiday anyway why not get tickets for a sporting event while you're there?
DH and I love Boston and often go around his birthday so I get tickets for the ice hockey. Or if there is a one off sporting event next year get tickets for that (we went to rugby european cup final in London this year).

The only thing my other half has requested is a big fancy pepper grinder like you get in restaurants. So that’s what I’m keeping my eye out for!

@HyggeTyggeDotCom

Nisbet's, who supply to the catering trade, stock various grinders, including this enormous one!

It may be too big, though!

https://www.nisbets.co.uk/olympia-salt-and-pepper-mill/gj009

DB would be Alessi anything as he loves that, or vintage things (like chairs), furniture, adidas gazelles (he already has at least 30 plus others).

His BIL would like most things foodie. Unusual foodie stuff but food usually goes down well.

Stepdad always voucher for garden centre and maybe extra like seeds, gardening bits like a hoe, he got an allotment this year and is really into this, or a French book as he’s learning French.

Also for various people like DB’s FIL clothes always go down well, John Lewis clearance good here, plus DB loves Fat Face and Stussy so he likes anything from
there.

If my DB ever went to USA and they were playing I’d get him a ticket as he’s a huge Green Day fan. I think as he has fairly young children sometimes it’s guilty going out without them but he needs that. Plus don’t think his wife is a Green Day or know which other bands they both like but if I was feeling very generous it’d be an immersive theatre event like latest Punchdrunk one. Hopefully SIL will get over her panic of wanting the kids with her 24/7.

Never buy a present for someone around a hobby they know more about than you. Just asked DH (a guitarist) if he would like picks - 'no of course not, I've got 1000s and do you even know what thickness I use?' Or a guitar? 'Well yup, I'll give you a shortlist, but they are all over 3k and don't buy it without me checking the woodgrain '
No gardener wants random seeds, and if they haven't several hoes already, they don't like gardening.
Gigs and matches, if they want to see them they go don't they?
Just between you buy something you would both enjoy and say it's your present to yourselves and hand over something generic on the day.

Gigs and matches, if they want to see them they go don't they?

I have to say to this- not necessarily! Not everyone can afford to go to matches and gigs, so receiving tickets for one would make a great present.

My boyfriend loves watching Russell Howard on tv and would often watch clips on YouTube and show me one’s he thinks I’d find funny too. But it wouldn’t have crossed his mind to see him live, and I bought him tickets for his birthday last year and he was delighted, said it was one of the best and most thoughtful gifts he’d ever had!

Do your parents have a bird feeder or bird bath? I love seeing mine and the various birds we attract. You could do a hamper with bird seeds, fat balls etc. Roamwild do a feeder which shuts if a squirrel or rats gets onto the feeder too.

Does DH cook? BBQ cooking class, 'Yo sushi' sushi making class, cocktail class.

Tickets to a comedy club, special meal out or theatre/event next year?

Clearly not for everyone, but a taxidermy class? a colleague stuffed a squirrel! www.afieldguide.org/workshops.html

For your Dad, tickets to "an evening with" type events at a local theatre? You go with him?

For the husband www.wyndhamstheatre.co.uk/whats-on/inside-no-9-stage-fright

You guys are amazing! Wow so many ideas. Going to check them all out.

Yes problem with guitar stuff is that DH just doesn’t make time to play so might be a waste. Good idea for my dad though!

Also definitely looking into Yo Sushi course for DS!

Does he cook?
decent knives or knife sharpener - some can be funky looking and get your knives sharp enough to shave with.
Very good binoculars
expensive cork screw/bottle opener
shaving brush, soap etc
decent small camera

Out of interest I searched for a non cringey red wine decanter. There are some, erm, interesting ones.

Wine poured out of a cock and balls anyone? 😅

Here is the link to the Yo sushi classes I mentioned earlier. I gave the course to DH 1 birthday, but I went along too. If you do get it for your DH, you could also give him some sushi rice, nori sheets etc for Christmas.
https://yosushi.com/sushi-school

Ooh thankyou!