Present ideas for son's GF

[HappySonHappyMum]

GF is 23 and not a girly girl, is sporty, has tats and wears skater type clothes. She's just about to move into her first flat and I'd like to get a housewarming gift as well. I need to get these gifts right!

I would suggest vouchers. I tried all sorts of gifts with my new DiL but I got negative feedback on all of them other than a voucher for a day at spa. give her vouchers for Dunelm or Amazon.

Some good cookware? I’ve got a lovely set of cast iron pans from pro cook.

Vouchers, a shopping trip to IKEA, cookware is a nice idea, but might be seen as symbolic.

I'd rather not but vouchers - I'd like to buy things that would be considered as thoughtful gifts. I want her to like me😆

A good coffee machine?

A Diptyque candle - you can get them on Vinted for quite cheap.

A bathroom bundle? Eg bath mat, towels, posh hand soap?

A (low maintenance) houseplant for the housewarming gift?

Honestly if it's her first place don't buy anything for it other than maybe a plant, it's hers she's probably been looking forward to choosing her own towels etc.
If you get on well going with her homeware shopping and treating her to lunch might be nice and helping her put up the flat packs if you do a trip to IKEA or similar.

Other than that a voucher or if she does skate there are a whole host of recycled skateboard homewares available.

A nice vase and a flower subscription.

I like the idea of taking her shopping for her flat and lunch.

Or a nice houseplant. Or perhaps ask your DS if he has a good idea as to what she might like. Hopefully he can give a good idea.

a really posh couple of mugs - eg Le creuset mugs. The kind you wouldn’t buy yourself but are lovely to have. I got bought a Le creuset teapot and it made me v happy even though, or maybe especially because, they are hugely overpriced.

also I like being bought nice hot chocolate and fancy biscuits - again, stuff I wouldn’t buy myself.

You could ask her whether she has a wish list.

I love the Le Creuset teapots but are they a bit heavy?

I'm of similar age and description, and my favourite moving in gift was a basket filled with lovely cleaning products! Method bacterial sprays, floor cleaner, bleach etc.

You can also put in a nice candle, chocolate, some nice slippers and maybe a small gift voucher for dunelm/ the range etc!

An air fryer, or a coffee machine,

I would love this 😳

I love unusual or random cleaning products.

But I'm not too sure I'd have appreciated it at 23, especially from my partner's mum. It doesn't sound like OP's DS is moving in with his GF but I'd still have got weird housewife vibes if MIL had bought me cleaning products.

Aesop hand soap - the one with the scrubby texture. Hand cream to match if you are feeling generous.

My mother in law tries to take me shopping for my gifts and I hate it. I never get what I actually want because I’m never sure how much she’s expecting to spend so I end up picking the cheapest thing I can and then going back and buying what I really want after.
So, if you do take her shopping, give her the vouchers before or a clear indication of budget to avoid that awkwardness.

I think the good hand soaps are a nice gift - she will use it and it’s nothing that will be around for years if she doesn’t like it.

Nice wine glasses & some wine if they drink?

I think the suggestions of taking her shopping and for lunch are pretty weird - I'd have found that massively overbearing!! You're not her mum - your not even her husbands mum. You're her boyfriend-who-she-has-actively-chosen-not-to-have-move-in-with's mum.
Overstepping and inserting yourself in her life aren't going to make her like you 😬

Nice house plant, posh soap/hand cream, couple of nice mugs - all much more proportional.

I would say to put together a little basket with a nice candle (or wax burner with melts), perhaps some fancy soap or body lotion, a low maintenance houseplant and a voucher for IKEA or Dunelm. Perhaps a super soft blanket depending how much you want to spend.

I agree that cleaning products, whilst very useful and lovely, might unintentionally send the message that you see her role as housewife for your son.

I saw something on here once along the lines of think about what they like and would buy themselves but try and get the best version that they maybe can't afford for themselves. So if she's a coffee drinker, something like a couple of Le Crueset mugs like a pp suggested. Or is there anything she's mentioned about the flat that needs attention? Eg, I'm going to get a plant for that corner/need to get a little table/need a pot stand. Get that and show you listen to her. A mil that listens and does something for you that you want is priceless

I prefer vouchers over everything else as it gives me time to research and choose the things I want, also to supplement the budget if I need to. It's so funny to me that people see vouchers as low effort. If it's for a brand/shop I really like then it's genuinely one of my favourite things to receive. It's taken me years but I've finally got through to my inlaws that a kindle voucher for Christmas is absolutely one of the best things they could ever give me because I can't justify spending as much on books as I would like to read so it's a huge, huge treat.

But not everyone's the same so I get it if she's not a vouchers girl, just wanted to give an alternative view.

Every birthday and Xmas and any other event there may be I buy my sons partner lego and books, or book vouchers.

I have bought the Up house for her moving present.

Obviously this only works if she likes lego.

Nothing wrong with inviting her to lunch either. It's not overstepping or weird to build relationship with someone important to your son.