Do your DC still believe? Older Primary age

[Dreamerinme]

Do your older primary-aged DC still believe in Santa / Father Christmas? DS(9) has made a few comments for the past couple of years about it being a fairy story and has now said he doesn’t want to visit a Santa/FC this year as ‘that’s for 3yo.’

He hasn’t outright said he doesn’t believe but I guess he’s wavering. I mentioned this to SIL in a general conversation about Christmas recently and she really snapped at me that she hopes DS doesn’t tell her DD(8).

DD is 8 and clearly doesn't believe any more. She's not said anything outright yet but the way she's talking about Christmas and little comments tell me she knows it's not "real"..

She is however very good at playing along for DS (4) who's prime make believe/Santa age and it's sweet to watch her with him.

I'd say don't make it a big deal. Never had the conversation with my parents and not planning on having it with her. Unless you think your son might be unkind to other kids, I'd just leave it and ignore SIL.

Our youngest child, 9yo ds said this summer he knows about Santa. Quite sad that the Santa years are over in our house, feels like we will need some new traditions. I guess we will still do stockings for the kids until they are all adults then stop that.

My mum still does a wee stocking for us in our 40s! Very sweet. Dd and I (8, nearly 9) had the full conversation a week ago. Someone told her when she was 6/7 and I was really distressed by that, it was unexpected and felt too young. But she concluded the friend was wrong and I was happy just to continue and she have a few doubts. But when she recently asked me outright it felt like the right time. I had strong chats about not saying to others as I think many of her peers still believe, made it all about her being in a grown up club who now know and it’s our responsibility to help the Christmas magic for younger ones. And emphasised that we can still make it feel magic, as it is a magical time! I understand both SIL feelings and yours.

DD is 9 and still believes. I know there are a few of her class mates who don't, they seem to be keeping it to themselves so far...I think this will probably be our last year of Santa though

I think he’s more than wavering even if he hasn’t said it outright! If he thinks it’s a fairy story then he knows. Honestly I think majority of kids have figured it out at this age, which I know is sad when the magic is over but really it isn’t a bad thing because it shows good critical skills and that they’re paying attention to details! But loads of kids, IME, still like going along with the pretence because it’s fun, or like my niece they’ve somehow come to conclusions that some of the presents like the stocking are contingent on pretending to believe. I’d just go along with the Santa stuff with a knowing wink and tell him it’s really important that anyone who wants to believe doesn’t have it ruined for them.

I hate the pressure to make children unquestioningly believe a lie and then to not tell other children that they’ve found out it’s a lie.
My eldest one still believes. My middle doesn’t. Youngest it too young to really understand it. I’ve told them that they can believe what they want but they can’t tell other people what to believe.
I know some mums who say “he doesn’t visit children who don’t believe”. I just don’t understand why you’d do this to your own children. It’s bizarre.

My kids stopped believing at age 6. They were fine with being told to pretend that they believed in front of others so that they didn’t accidentally make another feel shitty that they didn’t know

I think that most kids know by age 9 but if he has younger siblings then he can’t tell them

Thanks for everyone’s perspectives. Definitely keeping it low key and if he says he doesn’t believe then he’s not to say anything to his cousin.

@Nocheezesforusmeeses I do agree about some parents being obsessive about perpetuating the lie. SIL is the sort to have apoplexy if she finds out which particular child told her DD, so I’d rather DS wasn’t that child! She believes a friend of hers who says her y7 DD still believes completely, and wouldn’t believe me when I said that’s very unlikely and she’s probably just going along with it all for her younger siblings sakes. In any case, why would you let a child go to secondary believing in Santa?? Surely that’s an invite for being ridiculed.

9yo here also making noises about not believing anymore. He doesn’t seem remotely bothered about it either.

My DC now teens told me that they pretended for a long time in Father Christmas even though they'd found out the truth from friends older siblings

They weren't bothered one bit

DD however was upset when she found out the Tooth Fairy wasn't real but her mum writing her the letters in teeny tiny handwriting

8 year old hasn't believed for 3 years, 6 year old I think still does, not sure.

I had to tell chips the eldest and middle chips before they left primary

Babychips is 9 next week and he still believes

Oh and when she caught she me sneaking a pound coin under her pillow in the morning when she couldn't find it

DS is 10 in a few weeks. He still believes but there have been 'rumours' in his class and I think he's quietly questioning it. When he asks us we'll be telling him the truth this time

Mine is 10. Very nearly 11.
She's still talking about Santa like she believes.
Although I did wonder at this stage if she's just saying that? But she's never voiced any doubts herself let's put it that way.
But then she does still play babies with her friend. (I'm not sure how many 10 year olds are like this or not like this)

Both of my dc said at age 9 that they knew Santa was us, I didn’t try to convince them otherwise as at 9 they’re old enough to know and have worked it out.

DS11, DS9 and DS6 all still believe. Going to have to break it to DS11 pretty soon though.

Does he?
My child is very nearly 11 she still believes
Sometimes I think to myself surely she can't believe now
But then she does still play babies with her (younger) friend
Perhaps she's just young for her age?

He does! That's not to say he's never questioned it; I've just always managed to bring him back round. He only said in the car last week, "Mummy, at what age does Santa actually stop bringing you presents?". That would have been a great opportunity to have a conversation but the other two were also in the car. He hasn't asked since, but I'm sure it'll come up again soon!

DS aged 10 still fully believes in both Santa and the Tooth Fairy. I can well imagine I might have to break it to him before he goes to secondary school in two years time.

DD is nearly 9 and announced last night that she doesn't believe in the tooth fairy because her friend found a bag of teeth in her mum's drawer at home. Dh took her for a walk, confirmed there's no tooth fairy and asked if she wanted to ask anything else. She promptly asked about Santa too so that's that! Dh told her that the magic of Christmas is about more than Santa and that she can help to create magic for her little sister and her cousins etc. she wasn't upset at all which is a relief because I was always worried she would feel we had lied to her.

Yes same. She's questioned but I think that's normal anyway.
When she's asked me before about when Santa stops bringing presents I've just been non-commital and said I don't know 😂

My DS9 hasn’t said he doesn’t believe but I’m certain he’s questioning it. We’ve had long conversations about all the crimes Santa commits by entering homes 🤣. I reckon this might be our last year with the pretence

Dd10 eldest has never said anything about not believing, but then mention a maje of clothing that 'santa' bought for her last year and actually said 'mum you bought#@# hoody for me'. I think k she's going along it for the others.