How to approach not buying presents for adult friends next year ?

[flutterby1]

How to approach not buying presents for adult friends next year? What to say and when to say it?

I'd mention it late summer, August / September time.
"I want to cut back on Christmas, take some of the stress out of Christmas, I'm stopping giving adult friends gifts please don't buy me anything. If your up for it I'd rather we had a night out".

I stopped giving adult friends years ago. I do big birthdays and that's it!

After 5th November say "let's all get together for a meal this year instead of buying presents. Much nicer to see each other and have a laugh than to buy gifts"

I'd mention it when you next see them. Thanks for the present, loved it but with cost of living increases let's not bother next year.

I'd send a message now "Guys Christmas really was a stretch this year and I imagine it's only going to be worse in 2024. I love you guys and really appreciate your gifts but I'm not going to be able to exchange presents with friends anymore as I just can't afford it so please take me off your present list for next year"

I like @Vhrukn idea!

Definitely don't leave it until next November, many people start shopping way before then.

Oh ok. You could say it in October then.

This but add a suggestion that you all get together in the Christmas period instead

I've done this with most of my friends. We go out for dinner instead when it's convenient, same for birthdays

I've bought a few bits in the sales for next Xmas.

Christmas pyjamas new stockings etc.

I'm on a tight budget so I do buy throughout the year if I see something I know someone will like.

We got round this at first by doing a Secret Santa with a limit of £15. I think that was agreed at an NYE party. After a few years of Secret Santa parties we all agreed that the party was the best bit and so the gift part was abandoned. What a relief - no more unwanted candles/scarves/toiletry sets to be taken to the charity shop in the New Year.

"Lets agree not to buy Xmas presents next year but do something fun instead? "

When do you think would be a good time to say it then @Vhrukn ?

I would do this and I also agree send it ASAP. I'm another one who will start buying things in the sales if I see something perfect for someone

Yes I like this

I'm a widowed mom of 2 and although I used to love gifting, as I get older I realise it's such a waste of money. Especially for a single income household with kids x

Op while I think it makes lots of sense to stop it. I'm also assuming that all the friends you buy for have family who also buy for them?

I wouldn't stop someone if friends gifts are likely to be their only gifts.

All you need to do is be direct and say "I'm cutting back so not buying you and dont buy for me " I did that and to be honest the majority of people were relieved for various reasons and the odd couple were a bit put out which was not my problem. I just buy for a few people now and it's so much easier

Definitely, I like to buy for certain friends for certain reasons, but I must cut some out as my list is huge, I had 49 people this year!

From my own experience you'll probably find they've all had the same thoughts and are hugely relieved that someone's finally spoken up!

I think there's potential for it to come across as quite rude to do it immediately. As if you've resented doing it this year, ticked that box, and now want to move on.

Even if that's how you feel deep inside, these are friends and surely there's a little part of you that started giving them gifts because you like them? Even if it's become a habit you now want to break.

Wait until February. Pretend a random thjng popped into your head to remind you. And then make the suggestion of booking to do something together.

49 people is insane. Get that cut down by miles!!!

I buy for all our neices / nephews (6), 2 friends kids = 8 kids
3 parents (one no longer with us)
1 sibling (widowed)
= 4 adults

DH & our own two kids.

DH never bought his friends, I stopped mine years ago when £20 vouchers seemed to be getting passed around.
Siblings we stopped when kids came alone, and restarted one when widowed with young children.

My initial thoughts were to wait until late summer when most people start thinking about it.

But with 49 people (WTAF! theres folk that dont even send that many cards). I think you could word a message in the next few weeks and do a reminder later in the year.

"Hi Happy New Year, I've had a wonderful Christmas but feel I need to trim back for Christmas 2024. From now on I'm not buying Adults gifts. I normally start shopping in the sales but don't have the money to do it this year. I'll happily go for a drink instead so please don't buy me gifts if your also a sales shopper"

We ended presents for adult too. It saved me so much money, and meant to kids had better presents. We text out a message in October saying, "Due to our finances, we're no longer buying christmas presents for the adults. Please don't buy us anything." It's been seven years since I sent that to family, and it's great. All my money goes onto the kids. Wish I did it sooner.

49 people is mental!! You need to cut that right down. Even 10 people is a lot to buy for. I only buy for dp, my dc, my parents and my niece!

I would send a text next September.

If you do it now, people will have forgotten by next year.

Wow yes 49 is massive.
We have each other, our daughter, 4 parents, my sister, my grandma, 2 of my partners aunts/uncles, 1 tween cousin abroad, 2 little friends of my daughters, 2 men with special needs I work for and 2 ladies I used to work for and the dog!
Adults 13 (but 3 are joint with my sister)
Kids 4
1 dog

So 18 (3 brought jointly with my sister) and I thought that was a lot! However 9 are under £10 each.