Christmas Disappointment

LisaRich1986 · 2023-12-26T21:47:21+00:00

so this year my 5 year old was super exited about Christmas and the build up. wanted a handbell from Santa ( think this is because of a song she did in the nativity) got her a mixture of crafting gifts, board games, Lego a squishmallow and stocking bits. I can honestly say opening them she wasn’t at all excited, just opened them and hasn’t really wanted to play with any. She’s obviously not toy driven mainly likes crafting but I feel sad about it. The effort and just feel like I’ve let her down. hubby insists on Christmas at home but I’ve suggested going to Disney Paris next year we love it there and what’s the point in all the stress of me cooking for family when daughter doesn’t like roast, didn’t enjoy the whole present thing… might as well go do something we actually enjoy.

WonderingWanda · 26/12/2023 21:52

She's 5 years old and it can all be a bit overwhelming. My dd hates roast but just eats quality streets all day which makes her happy. I love Christmas dinner so do it for me. It's good that she's not materialistic. Maybe just make more of the build up to Christmas, make some fun traditions like making mince pies and hand made decorations. Make it about the things she enjoys, would she like to make the Christmas crackers and lay the table? Would she enjoy making a yule Log for desert? Do you play games that she might enjoy?

Characterbunting · 26/12/2023 21:54

Did she get the hand bell?
Sorry, that's not clear.

ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS · 26/12/2023 21:56

Characterbunting · 26/12/2023 21:54

Did she get the hand bell?
Sorry, that's not clear.

Was just about to ask this.

Original poster

LisaRich1986 · 26/12/2023 21:58

thanks for replying.
yes she loves a family games so we got monopoly and jenga which I tried to encourage today but wasn’t interested.
she does love cooking so joined in all the prep and playing hungry hippos when doing the sprouts. I just feel like the day itself was just a flop for her.
there is only 3 of us so maybe that’s why. I don’t know maybe I’m overthinking it but it’s hard when you put effort in

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Original poster

LisaRich1986 · 26/12/2023 21:59

Oh yes, she did and I was like wow Santa delivered your hand bell and she just said yes!

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Naptrappedmummy · 26/12/2023 22:15

Sometimes I feel like life is so exciting for small children these days that nothing feels magic if you know what I mean? Constant treats and days out and organised activities, school also put on so much more fun than they used to - dress up days, trips, discos, end of term parties. Balloon arches, Christmas eve boxes, Easter baskets, elf on a shelf, etc etc. I’m not accusing you of doing all this stuff, just highlighting the wider culture of childhood these days, and saying maybe it makes special things seem almost routine?

Santaisscouringindeedfornewjob · 26/12/2023 22:17

Maybe she felt overwhelmed by the power she held over Santa??

Original poster

LisaRich1986 · 26/12/2023 22:18

Completely agree!! First year at school and the last 2 weeks of term were jammed packed, nativity, carol service, xmas jumper day, xmas party day, Xmas dinner day, hot chocs for the end of forest school. I couldn’t keep up with it all.
she also does rainbows and they had 2 events. Maybe that’s the reason why maybe she’s just had enough now

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Sunflower8848 · 26/12/2023 22:20

I thought my son hated his birthday party because he was so quiet and emotionless, but I talked to him years later and he said it was fantastic and the best birthday he ever had. Sometimes kids appear one way on the outside but maybe feeling completely different inside. Maybe she was overwhelmed and the excitement was too much so she kinda shut down a bit.

pictoosh · 26/12/2023 22:20

Naptrappedmummy · 26/12/2023 22:15

Sometimes I feel like life is so exciting for small children these days that nothing feels magic if you know what I mean? Constant treats and days out and organised activities, school also put on so much more fun than they used to - dress up days, trips, discos, end of term parties. Balloon arches, Christmas eve boxes, Easter baskets, elf on a shelf, etc etc. I’m not accusing you of doing all this stuff, just highlighting the wider culture of childhood these days, and saying maybe it makes special things seem almost routine?

Think there is a LOT to be said for this.

mynameiscalypso · 26/12/2023 22:20

I think it's just a bit much for them. My DS (4.5) has been so excited for Christmas, jumping out of bed everyday to run to open his advent calendar, talking all the time about how he couldn't wait and then yesterday, he was a bit 'meh' when he came down and saw his stocking and that the treats he'd left out for Father Christmas had gone. I think he's just trying to process it all as I'm not sure he knew what to expect this year. Last year, it was all a bit lost on him. I do think - however - that he'll look back on fondly as one of the first Christmas that he can remember

idontlikealdi · 26/12/2023 22:22

Did she get the bell she asked for?monopoly is a stretch for a 5 yo

ChicoryDip · 26/12/2023 22:23

Naptrappedmummy · 26/12/2023 22:15

Sometimes I feel like life is so exciting for small children these days that nothing feels magic if you know what I mean? Constant treats and days out and organised activities, school also put on so much more fun than they used to - dress up days, trips, discos, end of term parties. Balloon arches, Christmas eve boxes, Easter baskets, elf on a shelf, etc etc. I’m not accusing you of doing all this stuff, just highlighting the wider culture of childhood these days, and saying maybe it makes special things seem almost routine?

I agree with this completely. When I think back to being little we might have had a Sunday School party and a 'bring a game to school' for the last day along with some games and a Christmas dinner but everything else was centred around Christmas Day itself.

Bear in mind as well that if DD is in Reception she's had a long term, a lot of change and is possibly tired (both mentally and physically).

Don't write off Christmas just yet, next year may be different.

Original poster

LisaRich1986 · 26/12/2023 22:23

Yes she got the bell, I said wow look Santa delivered you the bell you asked him for. She just agreed and said yes

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Original poster

LisaRich1986 · 26/12/2023 22:25

Oh sorry I wasn’t clear, it’s monopoly for age 4 not the adult version

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hanschristmassolo · 26/12/2023 22:30

I'd say my eldest didn't really get excited until age 6

To be honest I think mine in the past felt the pressure and don't like being gawped at / like performing animals when they open their presents with adults watching to see every reaction 😂

It has worked better when I pared things back a bit. Stopped the farce of visiting PIL before Xmas day who gave them presents to open - presents were for Xmas day only - and had less family here in the morning watching them open presents. Also relaxed a lot more myself and opened presents at the same time to take the focus of them a bit

Guavafish1 · 26/12/2023 22:32

Go for it

BlairWaldorfOG · 26/12/2023 22:35

Probably a bit fatigued after the build up! But yay to going away if it's something you'd all enjoy, I'd love to but blended family and kids who love being home for Christmas means we won't be.

Springbaby2023 · 26/12/2023 22:38

That’s what my son was like with his Santa gifts, like he just assumed he’d get them because he’d asked Santa for them so it wasn’t a surprise

Serene135 · 26/12/2023 22:38

Can you get her to choose her own gifts next year and then write her list for Santa? That’s what my children did and they were so excited opening their presents. They wrote their lists and then they posted them in the postbox.

You didn’t let her down. You sound like a great mum who tried her best. Maybe she was just feeling a little under the weather or something 💐

hanschristmassolo · 26/12/2023 22:38

For a 5 year old also from your present list doesn't sound like much she can play with straight away or that doesn't require someone else to be free to play with her/help her with? - no role play toys or dolls etc? My eldest had a squish mellow last year and it's not something they play with? Did she not talk about things her friends at school had asked for? No bike or scooter? It's hard when you have an only child - I've found since my youngest came along my eldest is definitely more excited and they definitely bounce off each other

If Disney is your thing then maybe do that next year as part of Xmas but just because you love it doesn't mean she will again at age 6?

Onand · 26/12/2023 22:42

I wonder if Christmas seemed more magical when we were kids because the magic wasn’t everywhere, instead you had to really use your imagination to experience what a magical time actually meant. Christmas magic was watching Home Alone or National Lampoon and seeing those amazing houses lit up and snowy scenes.

Now there’s nothing left to imagine because it’s all available relatively easy, the Santa myth is projected so convincingly well today that the idea of the guy is actually believable whereas children 20-30 years ago relied on the skill of their parents in duping them.

NotMeNoNo · 26/12/2023 22:42

She's very little, too young to be politely excited and fake emotion to meet expectations of adults, especially after all the build up. A weird day with weird food and unfamiliar toys and being put on the spot. Perhaps she's a quieter nature who prefers familiar things or needs a little time to get used to things. It sounds like you had a lovely day.

We had a year when we decided to be "just family", the over tired, over-snacked children didn't eat a mouthful of the laboriously made dinner and it was a real anticlimax. Adjusted expectations over the years, much improved!

mynameiscalypso · 26/12/2023 22:50

I tend to think that things seem magical in hindsight generally rather than in the moment.

HonestDad81 · 26/12/2023 22:51

mynameiscalypso · 26/12/2023 22:50

I tend to think that things seem magical in hindsight generally rather than in the moment.

I find this to often be the case too.