Not feeling it yet - not started

[Newyearnamechangehere]

So still doing boring chores, recovering from Covid, mentally ill dc making it hard to feel cheery, forgotten to put any Christmas food out, two of the older ones at work, just feeling like what's the point. It's like window dressing - pretend to be in a Christmas film for a couple of days and then back to no mental health support, income vanishing each month on a house of six with no sign of any of them leaving, just all feels a bit stupid really. What am I celebrating?

That sounds really hard OP.

You are right, Christmas can be nothing but hard work when you're not in a place to celebrate.

Are there any moments you can look forward to? Seeing a friend or family? A film you like or just something small to look forward to?

forgotten to put any Christmas food out,

why can’t you put some out now you’ve remembered? 😐

* What am I celebrating?*
how are you celebrating?

I'm thinking that. Maybe just stop buying into it. Currently 'arguing' with one of them over the mess and wanting it be clean at least for all the extra mess tomorrow.
I miss the past when we had lovely family Christmases, relatives, cheery chatting and watching tv. Now it's relentless faking.

No, what am I celebrating?

well not much by the sounds of it

but why don’t you do what will make you happy? so if that’s putting food out and eating - do it. If that’s going for a walk - do it etc

try to make the best of it as sounds tricky

are you hosting anyone tomorrow?

do you have a partner?

Yes. No to hosting. One of the dc drains everyone - radiates misery. There's nothing festive about it yet, the adult kids are working, I've got to go back to work next week. It so pointless like a couple of days of stupid food and expense and then back to everything being miserable. I think living with someone with long term mental illness is really tough. It's infectious, the misery.

I get it, OP, and I'm sorry.

You can get to the point where none of those will remotely "make you happy", @rochenutty. Circumstances are just too overwhelming and relentless,

I think many people put too much pressure and stress on themselves at this time of year - partly due to SM comparisons, and partly due to our own expectations of perfection. I’ve finally learned to just relax my expectations and try to enjoy the downtime rather than try to have a ‘perfect Christmas’

cut yourself some slack and just try to enjoy it for yourself (have a nice very very long bath with a glass of wine!)

Thanks. Currently fallen out over not clearing their filthy room (so all the presents may as well get chucked) and not showering when the water was on and demanding it's on again.

Obviously don't know the full circumstances, but can you just give the presents regardless and bung the hot water back on? Just trying to make Christmas a little easier on both of you?

Yes but it's not Christmassy that's my point really in posting. I'll pay for the gas for the water as they can't be arsed to get up when it's on, I'll give them the presents but there no festive spirit or joy etc.

I think joy and festive spirit is unrealistic for many of us. There is certainly no chance of either here.

Oh @Newyearnamechangehere I'm so sorry >I have a relative with MH issues ,extreme anxiety and when he visits it completely drains me and turns everything into a military operation.
I can't imagine coping 24/7 and having that at Christmas .

Thank you @inappropriateportioncontrol It is unrelenting misery tbh. Everyone is just brought down by it.

I'm not surprised that you don't feel like celebrating. Sometimes it does all seem pretend, like you have to fake joy for a few days. I'm sorry it's all a bit crap for you OP. There will be many people feeling the way you do.

Maybe just try to allow yourself someting just for you - is there a programme you'd like to watch perhaps?

do you i have a partner?

I understand how you feel. Also living with a young adult son with MH issues (not his fault and he’s better than he has been). He makes a bad day feel terrible and takes the shine off a rare, good event! The whole family know suffers with MH and anxiety, not his fault, but I am drained pretending to Christmas things up.
my nerves are tattered and I’ve spent too much money on presents trying to make myself feel better.
I feel like we should just not bother and accept we feel crap.
sorry I’ve just off loaded, I feel for you and send lots of wishes for a brighter 2024!

@rochenutty yes but they have even less patience and don't 'get' MH. They try but essentially don't want the room trashed and the utter rudeness and despair.
@MahShinyShoes no problem with you offloading! We should all have a space I think.

Sorry @MahShinyShoes I meant to tag @Housemouse55

I think it's really hard to enjoy anything. There's an expression 'a mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child' and essentially I can't really forget that I have one who sees no point in treatment, who is getting older all the time, and who (to put it nicely) I'm stuck with. Endless health anxiety, ocd, rudeness, refusal to tidy/allow anyone to tidy. No future.

My son is v lovely and tries hard but lives with sad and adhd and I worry about his future as he’s not well enough to support himself. Sadly Christmas doesn’t put a hold on chronic illness and I am wrung out.
do you manage better in a normal day (not Christmas time) @Newyearnamechangehere ?

Yes I think so. The GP was going to get the social prescriber to get in touch but that was months ago.
I just think of all the 'before' Christmasses and how now instead of having lovely cheery older ones chatting about their lives I have an incapacitated one spreading misery. I know it sounds vile of me. I just thought what am I doing? All this money and tree crap. And it is the same old same old.

And everyone is affected. The five kids are either on eggshells or can't stand them. It's fractured everything.