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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

The "oh no, it doesn't look like much" feeling

40 replies

AtillaTheHon · 21/12/2023 21:23

Is this just me? I get this every bloody year. I grew up in the 80s and 90s so peak plastic tat era. I got so much and think it has skewed my perspective a bit.

Dcs have got the three main presents they wanted each and then just stocking fillers plus a small present from me and dh each. Why do I feel like it isn't enough? Someone talk me down before I go and buy more stuff they haven't even asked for!

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Rolla23 · 21/12/2023 21:26

I grew up in the same time and never had much. One main present ( never big though) a book and a small gift. I still remember Christmas as so exciting. There was definitely no extras but I loved it.
Your children have got the gifts they’ve asked for. Loads of plastic tat won’t make them happier. I bet they’ll be delighted.

macaronicheezepleeze · 21/12/2023 21:26

Sounds like a really nice amount and you've got everything they wanted. If you've got the urge to get them more then buy some nice treats they like- chocolate or snacks, things like that to have over the Christmas period.

EarringsandLipstick · 21/12/2023 21:26

It's enough. Absolutely.

To avoid temptation, make plans for Friday - Sunday that avoid any possibility of buying more.

Remind yourself you'll have that nagging sense of guilt at unnecessary spending if you do!

PuttingDownRoots · 21/12/2023 21:27

Sympathy. My issue is DD1s "big" present looks massive compared to DD2s "big" present. They will both like their presents. DD2s is arguably more fun, whereas DD1s is practical. But the size difference is massive.

AtillaTheHon · 21/12/2023 21:28

Thank you all so much. Genuinely appreciate it a lot!

I can't really blame the 80s / 90s. Think I was honestly just quite spoilt at Christmas.

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AtillaTheHon · 21/12/2023 21:30

@PuttingDownRoots, yes, I've had that exact same problem before too where one dc looks as if they have a lot more than the other even though I know I've spent the same on each

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GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 21/12/2023 21:34

My DD’s grew up in that era and had one big present from me and dh, a few other smaller ones from family, and a big bulging stocking of little things from Father Christmas. It was plenty - they were always very happy.

Moonwatcher1234 · 21/12/2023 21:39

Maybe divert that feeling by taking your kids to choose some gifts for charity/local children’s ward etc. it will put things into perspective for you and gives your children a more lasting gift over and above sheer materialism.

Thewildthingsarewithme · 21/12/2023 21:43

I grew up in the 90’s and mine and my siblings presents filled the room and they were all tat, think plastic bow and arrow sets and plastic princess shoes from toys r us, it’s completely turned me the other way, we do the four things rhyme and I actually really enjoy choosing good quality things and only having a few really great things under the tree! Our parents said we wouldnt even look at the things by the end just rip the paper and throw them to one side 🤢

burntoutnurse · 21/12/2023 21:44

I'm feeling this way too but both about have about £400 spent on them! (PS5 for one.EarPods for the other. And loads of clothes! (Nike etc) but they are older now!

AtillaTheHon · 21/12/2023 21:47

I am so glad I posted this thread. I definitely need a good dose of reality.

They do bring their used things to charity shops and we shop there too. I'm generally quite minimalist, but something about Christmas sends me nuts!

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SpringingJoy · 21/12/2023 23:00

I feel this every year, mainly because dc are 15, 13 and 6.

The 6 year olds gifts look decent. Everything seems to come in massive, impressive looking boxes. Ds1's and ds2's by comparison look utterly underwhelming even though they've easily had double the amount (possibly even more than double) spent on them than dc3 has. But £65 jumper vs large £25 playset. £45 Gaming mouse (soooo small!) vs £20 (absolutely massive) squishmallow.

I have to stop myself buying tat and 'filler' crap for the eldest two and fight this urge hard 🙈

doodoodahdah · 21/12/2023 23:52

I know what you mean! I remember coming downstairs as a child (late 80s, early 90s) and having a big pile of presents, though my mum and dad would wrap every single thing individually like batteries etc. So that's probably where the 'big pile' feeling comes from.

This year, our 10 year old DC has one present, which is some lego they wanted and I'm worried its not enough purely because visually, its 'only' one present! Madness

SausageChopsBellyFlops · 21/12/2023 23:56

I've really had to stop myself this year, 2 of my dc have gig tickets as their main gift and it looks like nothing at all, I feel guilty as fuck, even though they will be delighted and aren't materialistic on any level.

I never used to get anything for Xmas though so I overcompensate with my dc.

SunflowerBaby · 22/12/2023 00:06

I've spent quite a lot but just got dd's presents out this evening and feel like it's an underwhelming pile! There's no 'main' present but some lovely things she will be thrilled with, and nothing bulky which I think is the problem. Need to resist going out and spending more money because she doesn't need it!

ThisHouseWillBeTheDeathOfMe · 22/12/2023 00:31

I'm "lucky" that with all of our too bloody many DC that just a few things each, means a big pile to spread around the tree. Not that much each, but put all together, it has the "wow" effect. Especially as parents join us part way through the day so theirs are under the tree too.

However, when it was just DS, I would always succumb to the twitch and want to create that "oh wow what a huge pile of presents" Christmas morning first look for him. It did achieve the initial wow, but he was overwhelmed by too many things, some stayed unplayed with in their box until Easter.

One year, his main gift was a trip to Disney over New Year and other shows, so not much else alongside that to physically wrap. What I did was buy three packs of balloons in red, white and green, and blow up those thirty balloons, leaving them on the floor. His face lit up when he saw it. Even now at 15 he asks if we'll have a balloon Christmas. You don't need to create the "wow" with presents.

Eldest DS also liked one year when DM and DF wrapped many boxes inside one another like Russian dolls, about 8 in total so it was a huge outer box, with a progressively smaller wrapped box inside, until he got to the final one, which contained a piece of paper stating "one luxury air guitar, love Santa". Again, no expense, but a big wrapped present and a fond memory.

We've also bought indoor snowballs (about a fiver a box of twenty B&M) and piled up to have a pre breakfast snowball fight.

I've also done streamers and paper chains all across the ceiling. Next year, when the youngest two will be old enough, I'm nicking an idea, which is a chocolate fountain set up on a little table with a Christmas tablecloth, tinsel, lights etc, and I'm going to seal the main door into the living room with wrapping paper for them to burst through.

HouseIsOnFire · 22/12/2023 00:34

I've had to give up the joys of wrapping with ribbons (one cat is a string eater) so made the switch to reusable gift boxes (strict rule they're returned after christmas, or returned next christmas with presents in!)- it makes the pile huge, maybe something to try 🤣

Accidentallyonporpoise · 22/12/2023 00:39

Every year I buy too much trying to get it even. I've still got an uneven number and size distribution of gifts for my DC and it's really hard not to purchase some more stuff just to get the balance right. I hope they are happy because keeping up with previous years has cost a fortune this year, I've easily spent double what I normally do and less to show for it.

Monkeybutt1 · 22/12/2023 07:19

Same here, grew up in the 80's/90's with piles of crap...box of tissues wrapped up FFS 🤣
DS is 11 and has an xbox game, footy kit, training top, chocs, Bath bombs, Guiness book of World records and a couple of card games. This is £200 worth which is more than enough but doesn't look much.
I'm more worried about my mum, we've bought her some perfume which wiped out the budget so she only has one where the other parents have a couple. She'll understand but I still feel bad.

mylifeisprettygood · 22/12/2023 07:27

Child of the 70s here and I used to come downstairs to a pile. I now do the same for my children. They come down to a pile of presents such as Lego, books, switch games, Pokemon stuff, plushies etc on the sofas then when they are all unwrapped me and dh act as though that's all then ask the kids to go into the other room "to check of the elves haven't left a mess" and there are main presents in there. They are unashamedly spoilt and we probably enjoy it as much as they do!

mynamechangemyrules · 22/12/2023 07:35

I'm a child of the 80s and we got one present from each person but like a PP there were lots of us kids, plus DM would always host so cousins/ aunts/ grandparents always came and boosted the tree! You could never get a present from under the tree for yourself- ie you went and chose one you'd wrapped to give someone- and it was so exciting and lovely and felt like LOADS even though it was certainly a lot less than many people on here.
My DCs all have birthdays in Jan and Feb so they know that Xmas they get more 'bits and bobs' presents and their birthdays are procured in the sales so much bigger value presents.

Anyway, came on to say that this year the Xmas spirit will be fun and you'll have a great time even if you're not sure you've bought enough!

Justtryingtounderstand · 22/12/2023 07:35

This is also me. Added to this my eldest has ADHD and a ‘big’ pile really matters to him in a way that’s hard to understand (to the extent he's wrapped a load of empty boxes himself to add to his pile 😮). Plus youngest is into squishmallows so his pile looks massive.

I twitched yesterday and now have more for him. Luckily he has a birthday on February so I will in reality probably keep some back. Last year I twitched, then felt appalled at myself and kept a load of presents back as when I looked it then seemed too much. Madness!!

fatandhappy47 · 22/12/2023 07:43

Same thing here. DS15 and 16. 3 main presents plus stockings and a couple of small bits to open.
But their gifts are expensive now so the money doesn't stretch as far.

Wanttobeok · 22/12/2023 07:46

I'm a big fan of wrapping smaller gifts in big boxes so that the pile looks bigger.

I remember the 80/90s massive pile of presents and that feeling is so exciting.

So I wouldn't buy more but if you can get hold of some big boxes maybe try that

WonderingWanda · 22/12/2023 07:49

I'm feeling that this year. They are older and have asked for much smaller things too so it looks very pitiful. I usually try hold off on buying some practical things they need like slippers, pj's and jumpers etc to pad it out a bit but this year they grew so fast we had to buy them clothes earlier.