Page 2 | The "oh no, it doesn't look like much" feeling

AtillaTheHon · 2023-12-21T21:23:33+00:00

Is this just me? I get this every bloody year. I grew up in the 80s and 90s so peak plastic tat era. I got so much and think it has skewed my perspective a bit. Dcs have got the three main presents they wanted each and then just stocking fillers plus a small present from me and dh each. Why do I feel like it isn't enough? Someone talk me down before I go and buy more stuff they haven't even asked for!

Disturbia81 · 22/12/2023 07:51

Moonwatcher1234 · 21/12/2023 21:39

Maybe divert that feeling by taking your kids to choose some gifts for charity/local children’s ward etc. it will put things into perspective for you and gives your children a more lasting gift over and above sheer materialism.

Love this.
I know the feeling OP as I was spoilt with an endless pile too. And on fb people post pics of theirs.
But I've always resisted the urge and it's never let me down. If I did it one year I'd have to do it the next! My kids are unspoilt as a result

EarringsandLipstick · 22/12/2023 07:52

Accidentallyonporpoise · 22/12/2023 00:39

Every year I buy too much trying to get it even. I've still got an uneven number and size distribution of gifts for my DC and it's really hard not to purchase some more stuff just to get the balance right. I hope they are happy because keeping up with previous years has cost a fortune this year, I've easily spent double what I normally do and less to show for it.

Sorry to finger wag, but this is crazy. You need to remember this next year & plan accordingly.

Kids will honestly be happy as long as they get at least something that matters to them - which varies by age, with teens wanting items that 'look' small. They don't need us spending loads of money to create an effect.

minipie · 22/12/2023 07:57

Rolla23 · 21/12/2023 21:26

I grew up in the same time and never had much. One main present ( never big though) a book and a small gift. I still remember Christmas as so exciting. There was definitely no extras but I loved it.
Your children have got the gifts they’ve asked for. Loads of plastic tat won’t make them happier. I bet they’ll be delighted.

Absolutely this. I got a present from parents, each set of grandparents (while alive) and maybe aunt and uncle. Some of these would be books. Plus small stocking fillers.

I really dislike this culture of needing “a pile of presents” - it’s a reflection of how cheap stuff is now and how wasteful we are as a result. Not directed at you specifically OP but please don’t buy into it.

EarringsandLipstick · 22/12/2023 07:57

I know the feeling OP as I was spoilt with an endless pile too.

I'm amazed at the amount of people saying this.

I grew up in the 80s. There was no money!

We got one main Santa present. Then a smaller present from our parents, and a sibling present. Grandparents gave book money. Occasionally but rarely godparents pitched in. It really was enough and I rarely heard of anyone getting lots.

I followed the same approach with my DC, though there was usually a surprise with the Santa present.

It's only since they've become teens that it's got expensive - and that translates as one main present still but for the boys, that works out as a Nike tracksuit or similar. Feels a bit unexciting, to me, but it's what they want. They also get some small presents from a longer list, max €40 in total each.

It's bewildering that some people have such a focus on a 'pile' of presents.

EarringsandLipstick · 22/12/2023 07:58

@minipie

Haha! Cross posted with you - a very similar sentiment.

daffodilandtulip · 22/12/2023 08:05

I grew up in this era and we had a room full of plastic tat too. However, it was never what I asked for, but what would look good to her friends. Like I never touched dolls my entire life but the year everyone wanted that barbie house, that's what I got. One year the posh department store had giant realistic dogs in the window, I got that so she could tell her friends she was the one who bought it.

I'd have much preferred to have the things I asked for (books usually, but never got one!) so your kids are winners.

Disturbia81 · 22/12/2023 08:06

EarringsandLipstick · 22/12/2023 07:57

I know the feeling OP as I was spoilt with an endless pile too.

I'm amazed at the amount of people saying this.

I grew up in the 80s. There was no money!

We got one main Santa present. Then a smaller present from our parents, and a sibling present. Grandparents gave book money. Occasionally but rarely godparents pitched in. It really was enough and I rarely heard of anyone getting lots.

I followed the same approach with my DC, though there was usually a surprise with the Santa present.

It's only since they've become teens that it's got expensive - and that translates as one main present still but for the boys, that works out as a Nike tracksuit or similar. Feels a bit unexciting, to me, but it's what they want. They also get some small presents from a longer list, max €40 in total each.

It's bewildering that some people have such a focus on a 'pile' of presents.

This was 1990 and onwards, and sadly all on credit. My mum had little from her parents so she went the other way!
As much as I loved it as a kid, I haven't repeated it. It was too much

popandchoc · 22/12/2023 08:08

Every year I worry I haven’t got them enough . Then I forget that they have their dad (we are divorced) and loads of grandparents and aunties and uncles so end up with loads .
Even if you don’t have a big family I am sure they will appreciate a few well chosen presents over loads of rubbish .

EarringsandLipstick · 22/12/2023 08:08

daffodilandtulip · 22/12/2023 08:05

I grew up in this era and we had a room full of plastic tat too. However, it was never what I asked for, but what would look good to her friends. Like I never touched dolls my entire life but the year everyone wanted that barbie house, that's what I got. One year the posh department store had giant realistic dogs in the window, I got that so she could tell her friends she was the one who bought it.

I'd have much preferred to have the things I asked for (books usually, but never got one!) so your kids are winners.

This made me a little sad ... it's lovely to think that you'd have really loved books (and sorry that you didn't and it was more for show).

My most exciting part of Christmas was my book pile! Chosen laboriously on Christmas Eve with Grandma's book money. It was agony having to wait a day to read any of them!

daffodilandtulip · 22/12/2023 08:10

@EarringsandLipstick I too used my nanny's gift money to buy books after Christmas though, so I did get to enjoy them!

Tiredalwaystired · 22/12/2023 08:21

You mention three main presents - I think that sort of depends on your definition of “main” - If it’s a £200 pair of trainers, an x box and an iPad, then my kids would get one of those of a bunch of smaller gifts so you’re being the opposite of tight!

galaxywipple · 22/12/2023 08:43

I'm too late to this as I felt the guilt, bought more and now my DC's will have big piles (which they will be delighted with) but now I feel guilty for spending the extra money and panicking that I'm spoiling my kids and setting the bar too high for the future.

Don't buy more!!

thisbetheverse · 22/12/2023 08:54

We’ve not gone crazy pile wise but instead done a few things to create magical moments such as a fairy door which we’ll put in her room on Christmas Eve for when she wakes up, with a photo behind it. I can’t wait to see her face! Also considering wrapping the living room door but we’ll see how Christmas Eve me feels about that when it comes round 😂

minipie · 22/12/2023 09:03

Also considering wrapping the living room door but we’ll see how Christmas Eve me feels about that when it comes round 😂

I honestly think this is the kind of thing (some) adults admire on instagram but kids don’t care about

thisbetheverse · 22/12/2023 09:07

@minipie that is what I needed to hear 😂