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Christmas

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Original poster

Token (?) gift for a man I've been seeing for a few weeks

75 replies

MonikerBing · 18/12/2023 07:18

Gah! I've been seeing a lovely man since the end of October. It's going really well and hopefully there's a future there. So I think I need to get him something for Christmas, but think a token present is probably the most appropriate - but what?

I don't want it to be too dull, or to be spending too much on him (as I have only known him (not even) 2 months.

OP posts:
PaminaMozart · 19/12/2023 09:24

Jumpers - some under £30:

https://www.ewm.co.uk/men/men-knitwear.html

ThatWriterInTheCorner · 19/12/2023 09:27

Iceland has this gorgeous tradition called the jolabokaflod, where you buy people you love a book and a bar of chocolate for Christmas Eve so they can stay up late reading and eating their chocolate. This is now my go-to gift when I want to choose something thoughtful without spending too much.

Newgirls · 19/12/2023 09:27

Jumper definitely - he’s saying quite sweetly that he wants to look nice for you. H&M have nice ones under £30.

TerryMeetsJulie · 19/12/2023 10:35

ThatWriterInTheCorner · 19/12/2023 09:27

Iceland has this gorgeous tradition called the jolabokaflod, where you buy people you love a book and a bar of chocolate for Christmas Eve so they can stay up late reading and eating their chocolate. This is now my go-to gift when I want to choose something thoughtful without spending too much.

That IS lovely.
Thanks for introducing me to that concept, @ThatWriterInTheCorner

This site explains the details, for anyone else interested:
https://jolabokaflod.org/about/founding-story/

Divebar2021 · 19/12/2023 10:44

I heard about that Icelandic tradition earlier this year…. Love it. Books are great gifts if the recipient is a reader and you have chosen them purposefully and not just randomly off the 3 for 2 table at Waterstones. Coffee is also a nice add on if it comes from somewhere interesting… I saw a chef recommending a coffee retailer in Soho called Algeriancoffee stores. Although it might be too late for delivery before Christmas I’ll leave the recommendation here because they’ve been around for years and I like supporting independent shops.

https://algeriancoffeestores.com/

Algerian Coffee Stores

Welcome to Algerian Coffee Stores. Established in 1887, and still standing proudly in Soho, London. Algerian Coffee Stores has evolved into one of the worlds best known and leading suppliers of coffee and tea confectionery. Come visit us in store or sh...

https://algeriancoffeestores.com/

Broodywuz · 19/12/2023 10:48

MonikerBing · 18/12/2023 12:43

I think token is under £30 for me.

I already have tickets for something on the 28th although he knows about those already and it's something I want to go to anyway.

Yes we discussed and agreed on token. Last I heard he was making me something (!) Then again, he also suggested I could buy him a jumper. And that isn't very token in my mind.

I think cheese is a good idea. Coffee too as he does like that. I was thinking of a travel mug too - early on in the dating process, I went for a walk with him, and he brought a flask of coffee and a normal mug.

I think a nice travel mug and coffee is a good shout after dating a couple of months.
Clothes is a bit meh and trying to tell you what you wear type thing.

User69371527 · 19/12/2023 10:51

It’s really tricky
ive been seeing someone a couple of weeks longer than you. He threw me off a bit by asking bluntly what I wanted for Christmas 😆 I think he was used to being given very clear pointers as he said his wife always did that as she was easily disappointed. I prefer more of a surprise thing but have given him some ideas. We agreed budget of £25 although that is quite hard! I’ve gone for a woolly hat (doesn’t seem to have one but is this because he doesn’t like them? 🤔) and fruit tea selection box as we both enjoy that.

Rainbowshit · 19/12/2023 11:57

Do you have an in joke that you could get something related to? Bit more personal than booze or cheese.

Sugarfree23 · 19/12/2023 12:12

I'd go jumper or hoodie since that's what's he's suggested. Next or M&S which are easy to return to rather than anything online

It's so awkward in those early stages.

MistletoeRegrets · 19/12/2023 12:12

£30 is a good cut off point.

It would buy 3 weeks of coffee beans - so a very short subscription.

Or a new art book / couple of poetry volumes. (Choose from this year’s Booker / Faber prize lists?)

Or as you suggest a thermal mug. (Though he may prefer his flask and mug!)

I wouldn’t be buying a nasty acrylic jumper though. £30 definitely isn’t enough for good wool, or even pure cotton.

Ilovemyshed · 19/12/2023 12:58

MonikerBing · 18/12/2023 12:43

I think token is under £30 for me.

I already have tickets for something on the 28th although he knows about those already and it's something I want to go to anyway.

Yes we discussed and agreed on token. Last I heard he was making me something (!) Then again, he also suggested I could buy him a jumper. And that isn't very token in my mind.

I think cheese is a good idea. Coffee too as he does like that. I was thinking of a travel mug too - early on in the dating process, I went for a walk with him, and he brought a flask of coffee and a normal mug.

Is he a footie fan? Buy a tongue in cheek Christmas jumper from his favourite team merchandiser. I bought my husband one for his team, half price in the sale so cost me £25. He loves it.

Ilovemyshed · 19/12/2023 12:59

MonikerBing · 19/12/2023 07:20

I think the travel mug and some coffee. I was looking at socks too but I've realised I have no idea what socks he wears!

I would love him to wear different jumpers (he seems to have a penchant for polo necks Hmm ) but maybe that's a longer term aim

I know his daughter is getting him some booze that he's asked for, so I'll steer clear of that.

Jumper with a zip at the top... still high neck but better imo.

Original poster
MonikerBing · 19/12/2023 15:44

MistletoeRegrets · 19/12/2023 12:12

£30 is a good cut off point.

It would buy 3 weeks of coffee beans - so a very short subscription.

Or a new art book / couple of poetry volumes. (Choose from this year’s Booker / Faber prize lists?)

Or as you suggest a thermal mug. (Though he may prefer his flask and mug!)

I wouldn’t be buying a nasty acrylic jumper though. £30 definitely isn’t enough for good wool, or even pure cotton.

He might actually prefer his flask and mug. I feel he'd have bought or have had bought for him a travel cup if he'd wanted one. And I'm with you on the jumper. He may wear polo necks, but they aren't cheap ones.

God it's a minefield. He doesn't appear to read much (or there aren't many books at his house anyway). He does have a whole cupboard full of coffee. I don't know anything about his sock taste as I haven't really paid any attention to his socks.

I have got him a joke present already.

OP posts:
Original poster
MonikerBing · 19/12/2023 15:45

I really like the sentiment behind the icelandic book and chocolate. He should be getting me that! I'd love it. (Instead he's making me something unknown and potentially a bit shit).

OP posts:
Fern86 · 19/12/2023 16:50

I already can’t wait to find out what he makes you!

Bettyintheburbs · 19/12/2023 16:54

OP please come back and tell us what he made you. 🎄

declutteringmymind · 19/12/2023 16:59

An aeropress?

Original poster
MonikerBing · 19/12/2023 17:42

I thought about that, but he seems pretty wedded to his cafetiere.

OP posts:
NAndJSaysVoteConservative · 19/12/2023 18:17

Consumables only at this stage.

If the relationship ends up fizzling out early then something like a jumper will be thrown away.

Avacardo2023 · 19/12/2023 19:21

If you are interested in this man romantically then why not get him a nice jumper from John Lewis? Consumables aren't something you buy for a new love interest, they are either for secret Santa for people you hardly know or for people you have known for donkeys years.

Throthetowelin · 19/12/2023 19:25

NAndJSaysVoteConservative · 19/12/2023 18:17

Consumables only at this stage.

If the relationship ends up fizzling out early then something like a jumper will be thrown away.

How miserable!!!

What's the magic number of months before you can move on from consumables?!

Ignore this op

TerryMeetsJulie · 20/12/2023 01:58

"I would love him to wear different jumpers (he seems to have a penchant for polo necks Hmm ) but maybe that's a longer term aim"

Are you dating Jack Branning on the sly, OP?

Ladyj84 · 20/12/2023 02:30

Defo wouldn't do tickets to early if it goes tits up lol...a bottle of something nice and good luck to the future 🙂

Maddy70 · 20/12/2023 04:57

I would go aftershave

user1492757084 · 20/12/2023 05:18

Never booze.
Ideas:
Homemade biscuits in tin, good coffee, 2 tickets to ...., book voucher, fun cushion, beach towel, shirt, hobby related gift voucher, an experience - gallery, forest adventure, cheese and wine tasting, pub meal out and gig, a music festival or fun fair.
....Christmas patterned cardigan... ho ho ho.